My daughter doesn’t have a bedroom-is this bad

[Thoseshoulderslookace]

Dd, 3, sleeps in our room/bed, all her toys are downstairs..everywhere, plus in the garden etc. We have one extra bedroom that’s used as a spare room currently for when people come to stay. We’re getting it ready to be her bedroom, but it’s taking so long because it’s so expensive! Saving back a bit each month to decorate it all fully, buy the bed, shelves, chair, rugs, decorations etc etc.
Is it shit that she doesn’t have her own room yet? Feel so bad about it 🥲

We live in a tiny 2 bedroom flat in London with no garden, and there was 8 of us, now 7 as one has just passed away, I have 4 kids 2 boys 2 girls, boy 17, Girl 13, boy 11, girl 5 and they have NEVER had their own bedrooms ever. Would I love them too yes, but do I let it bother us no. We are lucky to have a roof over our heads, how could I let myself or my kids feel sorry for themselves for not having their own bedrooms, they have and have always had toys, games, XBox, friends over, everything that a child could need, except their own rooms, and my kids have turned out just fine ✌🏼❤️

I forgot to say, my 80 year old mum also lives with us in the tiny 2 bedroom flat, and she has dementia so has to be looked after full time, we still make it work!!!

@mumov3mags

I forgot to say, my 80 year old mum also lives with us in the tiny 2 bedroom flat, and she has dementia so has to be looked after full time, we still make it work!!!

You are a living saint! Fair play to you.

My daughter didnt leave my room until she was 5 :( she had her own room too. Its a bloody nightmare to get kids to move into their own rooms when they are small.

I'll echo others and say it's just bizarre that there's an almost always empty room and she doesn't have her own space. The bed is fine (she won't need a toddler size one for much longer) so just get her the nice rug you wanted, make space for her toys and move her in. The rest can come later.

It seems to me that your guests take priority over your child. Harsh. But you yourself are leaning towards that answer. It is rubbish that you prioritise occasional visitors over your child. Get the room sorted. Be positive and stop dilly dallying. Put all the toys into the child’s room and make it his/her space.

Why don’t have a look on the local Freecycle or freegle websites. There are often toddler beds on our local sites. Even if it’s only temporary it gives her a room and then you could always replace it once you can afford it. I guess it depends on how she feels. If she seems happy then carry on. If there is something that has triggered you to write the post and you feel she is unhappy then it could be an option x

@Insidelaurashead & @Thoseshoulderslookace
Could this be the start of a business!! LOL. Joking aside I never thought anyone else would be interested, I do need to always work because of my bad choice in children's dad i lost my pension and spent all my savings bringing up my kids. Perhaps I should look at this? Problem now is no where to work as all 4 grown up kids at home saving hard. Be nice to 'work' at something that is such fun. I made the giraffe on the decking and supported by a couple of old sawhorses. Drew the outline and jigsawed away!

noi, It's not mean. In times gone by whole families would share one bedroom. The room need not be expensively done over, you're making too big a deal about it, and she may end up wanting to be in with you anyway. Just make it an everyday sort of thing,(A rite of passage for a big girl.) and then save up for bunk beds !!!

If I could bear sleeping in the same room as my noisy children, I absolutely would. They'd love it and would stop all the musical beds. I also think it's much more natural - there aren't many cultures in the world where they'd be packed off to the other side of the house.

I think it sounds lovely what you're doing. All the snuggles and safety of you being in the same room while little. An exciting move that you've really thought about and made special when you've got the money and time.

Just thought - my DS's room is tiny, so he doesn't have many toys in there and doesn't play in there. It's beautifully decorated, but he doesn't give a shit about that. He loves going there after his bath as we always do story time in there, nowadays with a torch under a blanket. It's his fun, cuddly place.

So for him, all that's required is his bed, his 3 favourite cuddly toys, torch, blanket, books.

I think it’s lovely that you want to make her room perfect before introducing her to it. Nothing wrong with her still being in your room if you’re ok with it! Xx

Don't spend huge amounts of money on it. What a 3yr old wants and likes is vastly different from a 6 yr old and 13yr old. You'll end up having to change it depending on the way the wind blows . Be practical, think about pens, paint, food, muddy shoes, dirty hands and include your lo friends in that scenario. Spend the money when lo is older, able to take care of it, and make sensible choices that don't include peppa pig, scooby doo, or indeed anything for the under 16s. Toddlers only want to eat and play, they care about nothing else.

I should add my daughter didn't sleep in her room without me properly, till she was about 8/9. I didn't care because I knew it wouldn't last and I would be kicked out without a second thought when she was ready. She hated the colour I painted her room and took all the stickers off her wall 1 yr after we put them up at her instruction. Don't get sucked into spending huge amounts of money that could be better spent elsewhere.

Why cant she have it now ,if its suitable for guests then its suitable for her,the daughter comes first surely?unless having guests to stay overnight is a regular thing in which case she would have to be in and out of the room

There are a lot of bargains to be had. We got stokke loft beds for £50 each 2nd hand on gumtree. Brand new those beds would have cost £1500 or so each . My daughter is getting her first new bed frame today. The only other new items she's had are the mattresses. When moneys tight devout doesn't matter, cut yourself some slack and enjoy the cuddles at bedtime.

Decor not devout.

Do not get a toddler bed op! It needs a special size of mattress, sheets, duvet and she’s pretty much too bug fit it already! Chances are if she’s used to being in with you too, it’ll take her a while to adjust unless you’re fairly cold turkey about it all, and if money’s very tight too, then it’s even more ridiculous!

Either keep the double or get her a single bed.

Why not put her bed in the spare room, let her sleep in there, get some bits and pieces from eBay/charity shops/Facebook etc. No need to buy brand-new stuff.

I wouldn't keep a room free in case someone wants to stay. She's not suffering by not having her own room, but surely you want your bedroom to yourself, to relax in?