My daughter doesn’t have a bedroom-is this bad

[Thoseshoulderslookace]

Dd, 3, sleeps in our room/bed, all her toys are downstairs..everywhere, plus in the garden etc. We have one extra bedroom that’s used as a spare room currently for when people come to stay. We’re getting it ready to be her bedroom, but it’s taking so long because it’s so expensive! Saving back a bit each month to decorate it all fully, buy the bed, shelves, chair, rugs, decorations etc etc.
Is it shit that she doesn’t have her own room yet? Feel so bad about it 🥲

Yeah that's not great. She needs her own space to start building independence for when she starts school. Bed off Facebook marketplace, mattress off eBay, the rest can be done as and when.

Nope, my three and 2 months old has just got his first bed room; the box room with a double bed shoved in as he won't sleep without me.

So basically a bed and a bookshelf. Prior to that he wasn't bothered at all. We've only done it due to some necessary room jiggling for potential work on tbe house.

@JesusInTheCabbageVan

No, it's lovely! She must feel so safe and secure in your bed every night, what a great start to life.

This

How bad is the spare room? Just buy a bed and get the rest of the stuff at a later date. I got my dds bed on ebay...it was brand new. Wasn't too expensive

You are waiting to decorate properly? I think if she and you are ready you need to not worry about the aesthetics and sort the basic practicalities out . If she isn’t ready then chill

@GreyhoundG1rl It has an adults double bed and basic furniture, I’d like her to have a proper room, a really beautiful one, not just with bare walls and a toddler bed

We’re happy to have her in our room and she’s happy, has never even asked

@JesusInTheCabbageVan

No, it's lovely! She must feel so safe and secure in your bed every night, what a great start to life.

Amen to that.

[quote Thoseshoulderslookace]@GreyhoundG1rl It has an adults double bed and basic furniture, I’d like her to have a proper room, a really beautiful one, not just with bare walls and a toddler bed[/quote]
That’s your own hang up. You could move her in tomorrow if you wanted to. Add the rest of it as you can afford to.

I’m not sure it needs to be perfect with all decoration done. It just needs a bed and stuff she likes.

[quote Thoseshoulderslookace]@GreyhoundG1rl It has an adults double bed and basic furniture, I’d like her to have a proper room, a really beautiful one, not just with bare walls and a toddler bed[/quote]
That doesn't mean she can't have the room right now as it is.

You've decided to keep her with you and that's fair enough but you need to own your decision, and stop worrying about it.

I don't think there is anything wrong with it, but you are probably overthinking her room. A tin of paint and an IKEA bed to start, you can add to it when you are able.

@Thoseshoulderslookace

We’re happy to have her in our room and she’s happy, has never even asked

Then it’s fine - what are you worried about?

@Thoseshoulderslookace

We’re happy to have her in our room and she’s happy, has never even asked

So why the thread?

As long as she has a bed in the room you can buy the rest as you go along , I don't think it's bad you haven't moved her yet

[quote Thoseshoulderslookace]@GreyhoundG1rl It has an adults double bed and basic furniture, I’d like her to have a proper room, a really beautiful one, not just with bare walls and a toddler bed[/quote]
I'd let her have the double bed...paint the room...It won't take long. Get a couple of posters from the pound shop, they have loads of nice ones for kids. Get a £20 rug from b&m and a nice duvet cover. You are making this into more work than it needs to be.

@Feelslikealot

Yeah that's not great. She needs her own space to start building independence for when she starts school. Bed off Facebook marketplace, mattress off eBay, the rest can be done as and when.

Nonsense. Independence is built through security, attachment and having the chance to be dependent, not through enforced separation.

www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/the-power-prime/201808/don-t-raise-independent-children%3famp

Toddlers don't need their own rooms to be prepared for school.

@WorraLiberty @NoSquirrels Just wondering if it was odd or some kind of neglect. Even if she still slept with us, should she have her own room and place etc?

@LibrariesGiveUsPower45321

Why are you waiting to put her in? So long as it’s clean and safe it doesn’t have to be perfect. You can buy really good quality furniture secondhand then dunelm for curtains/bedding etc. New mattress £100. Shouldn’t have to cost much more than £500 total. Upgrade as she gets bigger and develops her own style and tastes.

Should she also get a cleaner and book a spa day to get over the trauma?

We’re happy to have her in our room and she’s happy, has never even asked

What's the point of this thread then?

@JesusInTheCabbageVan 😊I hope so

Neglect?

DD has a bedroom but never uses it as she sleeps in with me still, so it's definitely not mean if it wouldn't really be used! She plays downstairs so bedroom at this point is really just to store her clothes.

If she wants to sleep separately then you should probably try to get something set up, but if you are all happy then no point having a room sitting there not being used at all if you can make use of the spare for now.

I’m sorry but I don’t understand this. You have the room and it must be decently decorated if you’re using it for guests and you have the bed. It doesn’t need to be all Instagram style for her to sleep there. In fact I think it’s actually good for calm sleep to have a fairly clear room. Get her a fun duvet cover and a few posters, that won’t cost much at all! You are way overthinking it. But if you’re happy with her in with you then that’s equally fine. It’s just ridiculous if the only reason to be waiting is to afford expensive decor.

My DS just uses his room for sleeping - his clothes are in there and some toys and books, most of them are downstairs though. They are old enough to appreciate having their own room by that age though - we’re moving house and my DS is very excited about his new room. But if yours is not sleeping in it I guess it doesn’t really matter. I wouldn’t prioritise a spare room for guests over a room for my DC. I also don’t see the point in this thread really as someone else said - you’re happy as you are, yet know it’s not the norm. What do you want to hear?