Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My daughter doesn’t have a bedroom-is this bad

369 replies

Thoseshoulderslookace · 08/10/2021 18:54

Dd, 3, sleeps in our room/bed, all her toys are downstairs..everywhere, plus in the garden etc. We have one extra bedroom that’s used as a spare room currently for when people come to stay. We’re getting it ready to be her bedroom, but it’s taking so long because it’s so expensive! Saving back a bit each month to decorate it all fully, buy the bed, shelves, chair, rugs, decorations etc etc.
Is it shit that she doesn’t have her own room yet? Feel so bad about it 🥲

OP posts:
Nefelibata86 · 10/10/2021 09:01

@Anonymous48 thanks for replying. I should have said my son hasn’t been in a cot for months! Never got on with it so been in my bed cosleeping since

ColbyJones · 10/10/2021 09:02

She has a roof over her head. Individual rooms? Some would view your worry as an insult.

purplesequins · 10/10/2021 09:27

having grown up without my own room or even bed, I think having an own space is very important.
so yes, prepare that bed and room for her but be there for her as well when she meeds you for comfort.
tbh, your sleep will massively improve when you can sleep on your own.

bumblingbovine49 · 10/10/2021 09:38

[quote Thoseshoulderslookace]@alexdgr8 I’m not wanting the best decor and didn’t say I was painting on the wall, but it does obviously need a toddler bed, shelves, carpet, wardrobe, chair, table, done decorations etc[/quote]
Pleas don't buy a toddler bed, especially if money is tight . Assuming it is a comfortable bed with a decent mattress, she will be fine in the bed that is there ( when she is is enough to want to sleep in her own room and you are happy for her to )

She is 3 and will outgrow a toddler bed in less than a year or two

purplesequins · 10/10/2021 09:42

I disagree about toddler beds being pointless. my dc were in them from about 18m to 8 years.
the dc needed more floor space for their toys at that age.

but I agree if a bed is already available it makes sense to go with that.
add nice bedding that dc would like and maybe an under bed drawer for her toys.

PattyDuff · 10/10/2021 10:13

Start putting some of her things in it, tell her she is getting her own bedroom, and little by little you will build it up and it will be a new adventure for her.

SHE needs her own space for her own expressions for herself, her fabrics lands without mummy and daddy looking on.

She needs privacy. So give it to her right now with some of her toys.

Recycle places and recycle places are free and in good condition.

Build and soon it will materials.

A child a room of herself.

Have fun. X

Comedycook · 10/10/2021 10:20

@ColbyJones

She has a roof over her head. Individual rooms? Some would view your worry as an insult.
The thing is, if you have no other choice then that's understandable. Plenty of children throughout the world won't have their own rooms....I'm sure they manage just fine. The weird thing here is that there is a room she can have. There is no need to make do because of no other choice.
timeisnotaline · 10/10/2021 10:49

@purplesequins you must have super mini kids who sleep curled up? There is no way my 6yo would fit in the 3yos toddler bed. (6yo never had a toddler bed so I’m not being a hypocrite saying they are unnecessary)

purplesequins · 10/10/2021 10:51

toddler beds are 1.6 meters long.
my dc are tall but were able to stretch out fine. the tallest was less tgan 1.5m at 8yo, which gave as much space in the toddler bed as a tall adult in a single.

timeisnotaline · 10/10/2021 10:58

Ours is 1.3m long and looks pretty normal to me, so clearly there is some variation. My 6yo is 125cm so clearly wouldn’t work here, and he’s not 7 till mid next year.

Caspianberg · 10/10/2021 11:25

Standard cot beds/ toddler beds are 70 x140cm. Therefore a squash for any child over about 130cm

GreyhoundG1rl · 10/10/2021 11:55

You can get extendable toddler beds? Although if it needs to be extended from the off there's little point, really...

Emberino · 10/10/2021 14:09

Don’t feel bad about it, but it would be nice for her to have her own room. Previous comments advice is right. Try internet for free or cheap stuff. Look online for ideas of how to upcycle furniture, get your daughter involved she’ll love doing it and really treasure what she has in her room. DS now in yr8 has a bedside table we did together covered with some wrapping paper stuck down with PVA he chose. I think it needs updating he won’t let me change it! Look on Instagram and Pinterest for ideas. Word of warning she’ll love her new bedroom but probably take a while to actually sleep in it. But that’s fine as well.

amispeakingenglish · 10/10/2021 15:37

Perhaps there is a paint place near you where they sell second hand tins and excess tins. We have one and they used to get brand new Farrow and Ball paint. You can get everything second hand, paint the floor and put rugs down, Ikea do lots of kids ones. Not too expensive, I presume you are doing the decorating yourself? Get creative, my lot had a jungle room, complete with a giraffe I made as tall as the room out of mdf and painted. I made it the same size as the bunk beds, my dad had made, so the body was width of be and legs came down where the bed legs were. Cut it out in once piece with a jigsaw. Ikea did hanging storage baskets at the time so I used those from the ceiling too. I had 3 in the bed, bottom bunk top & tailing my middle two and my youngest went in there at nearly 3 (in with me till then) when I moved the eldest two into the big front room. Hope some of this might help you.

GreyhoundG1rl · 10/10/2021 15:40

complete with a giraffe I made as tall as the room out of mdf and painted. I made it the same size as the bunk beds, my dad had made, so the body was width of be and legs came down where the bed legs were
That sounds amazing Smile

NautaOcts · 10/10/2021 15:46

[quote Thoseshoulderslookace]@GreyhoundG1rl It has an adults double bed and basic furniture, I’d like her to have a proper room, a really beautiful one, not just with bare walls and a toddler bed[/quote]
I think you’ve got your priorities a bit backwards there, sorry. But everyone’s different.

My dd slept in a double bed for ages at about that age because her room doubled up as the guest bedroom when people came to stay.

I wouldn’t worry too much about the decorating and don’t let that hold you back from moving her in there if otherwise you’d do it.
Remember also that her tastes are going to change so if you spend ££ decorating it now she might not like the colours or theme in a few years time

Insidelaurashead · 10/10/2021 15:50

IMO if she keeps asking for her own room, then just get her in there now, as not letting her is a bit mean. But you've not said she's asking so if she's perfectly happy as is, and you're trying to make her a lovely bedroom, it's absolutely not the end of the world to wait until its done

Insidelaurashead · 10/10/2021 15:52

Erm @amispeakingenglish can you make me an as tall as the room giraffe please? I'm 34 but I still need one

BasiliskStare · 10/10/2021 15:52

I made curtains out of material I had bought on sale - matching cushions were on sale , DH & I painted the room with stripes lower down and a couple of those wallpaper borders - It was of its time but it was nice. We had a cheap and cheerful chest of drawers which we painted to go with it. I ( this is another tale ) made him a little blanket cover - except ( was at MIL's because I did not have a sewing machine ) managed to get the sewing machine needle through my nail and finger and the associated bone - nice doctor got it out but probably better to have just bought the little blanket cover. Ended up in A&E with a chap having to brace his leg to get the needle out of my finger bone. I had to go there with a good deal of the sewing machine attached to my finger.

But on the upside DS's room looked nice and didn't cost much - he occasionally came into our bedroom and was welcome - but quite liked his own room as he got older.

douliket · 10/10/2021 20:45

@pianolessons1
It's not one bit mean,maybe even nice that they are all in the same room together..
Mean??? What kind of a way is that to view family life..she's 3 not 30🙄

MissDonnaMarieHurles · 10/10/2021 20:46

My son who is five years old has his own room but always wants to sleep with me in my room/bed. He won't sleep on his own and always sleeps next to me. And when he does I put him in his own bed.
But if he wakes up he will come back into my bedroom. 😉

pianolessons1 · 10/10/2021 20:56

[quote douliket]@pianolessons1
It's not one bit mean,maybe even nice that they are all in the same room together..
Mean??? What kind of a way is that to view family life..she's 3 not 30🙄[/quote]
we can agree to differ. Not giving a 3 year old their own space, when you have that space, I think is mean. you may have a different opinion and that's fine.

MissDonnaMarieHurles · 10/10/2021 20:58

My son is a very picker eater he likes certain foods. And doesn't like any kind of meal say for instance " spaghetti bolognese Or
Beef stew
He is a slim build. I would like him to put on a few pounds.
And I do worry he isn't eating right. It's frustrating.
But what do I do ?

november90 · 10/10/2021 21:00

You do what works for you. If your daughter is happy in your room and you're happy then enjoy it whilst it lasts! My eldest went in his own room at 7 months, but my youngest is still with me at 16 months and we both love it. He's not missing out on anything and it makes those night breast feeds so much easier.
I'm not putting pressure on my self from what society expects/thinks... I'm just doing what I think works for us!

pilates · 10/10/2021 21:02

Are you sure it’s not you that wants to keep her in your bed?
You have a spare room with a bed in it and you don’t have to spend a lot of money to make it look nice. You are making a mountain out of a molehill.