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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My daughter doesn’t have a bedroom-is this bad

369 replies

Thoseshoulderslookace · 08/10/2021 18:54

Dd, 3, sleeps in our room/bed, all her toys are downstairs..everywhere, plus in the garden etc. We have one extra bedroom that’s used as a spare room currently for when people come to stay. We’re getting it ready to be her bedroom, but it’s taking so long because it’s so expensive! Saving back a bit each month to decorate it all fully, buy the bed, shelves, chair, rugs, decorations etc etc.
Is it shit that she doesn’t have her own room yet? Feel so bad about it 🥲

OP posts:
alexdgr8 · 08/10/2021 19:17

sounds like a non-issue.
you have a spare room, with a bed; let it be hers.
sounds like keeping up with the jones's; only the best child's room will do. nonsense. also painting designs on walls soon looks dated/tatty.
think about your priorities. focus on what is really important.

Figgygal · 08/10/2021 19:19

As someone who’s never shared a bed with either of my children (other than maybe very early morning when they’ve got up early) I don’t understand it but if it works for you and you want to make her room nice then what’s the problem

QueenLagertha · 08/10/2021 19:19

DS is 3.5. He's been sick with a bug this week so we moved his toddler bed in to our room so we could keep an eye on him. Now he is crying and begging for his bed to stay in our room 😂 your little one will be fine honestly. Don't beat yourself up over this

2blackandwhitecats · 08/10/2021 19:23

MN tends to be very pro co sleeping but I do think it’s a bit odd she doesn’t have her own bed at 3.

1forAll74 · 08/10/2021 19:24

You don't need a pile of new stuff for a three years old child, just a bed, and room to play. maybe a colourful duvet and curtains, much better than sleeping in parents room, which I wouldn't like, unless its absolutely necessary.

Fluffycloudland77 · 08/10/2021 19:25

Is this because of the little boy who died and you couldn’t tell a child lived there?

SerendipitySunshine · 08/10/2021 19:28

Keep the double bed. She will love the extra space and it's a great help when reading bedtime stories etc.

Original poster
Thoseshoulderslookace · 08/10/2021 19:28

@alexdgr8 I’m not wanting the best decor and didn’t say I was painting on the wall, but it does obviously need a toddler bed, shelves, carpet, wardrobe, chair, table, done decorations etc

OP posts:
Original poster
Thoseshoulderslookace · 08/10/2021 19:29

@Fluffycloudland77 ?

OP posts:
Offmyfence · 08/10/2021 19:30

A really beautiful room doesn't matter to a three year old, she also won't be assessing the quality of the furniture!

SylvanasWindrunner · 08/10/2021 19:30

I wouldn't bother with a toddler bed. Waste of money. DD is 2.5 and already looks massive in hers on the odd occasion she lies in it. If she's used to sleeping in a proper bed, just leave the double! Much better for when one of you has to sleep in with her in the future too.

Original poster
Thoseshoulderslookace · 08/10/2021 19:30

@Fluffycloudland77 Sorry I’ve not heard about that

OP posts:
Chipsinthewoods · 08/10/2021 19:30

@LakeShoreD

I’m sorry but I don’t understand this. You have the room and it must be decently decorated if you’re using it for guests and you have the bed. It doesn’t need to be all Instagram style for her to sleep there. In fact I think it’s actually good for calm sleep to have a fairly clear room. Get her a fun duvet cover and a few posters, that won’t cost much at all! You are way overthinking it. But if you’re happy with her in with you then that’s equally fine. It’s just ridiculous if the only reason to be waiting is to afford expensive decor.
This, our kids shared with uni text books and had the hoover in their closet. Nice bedding, good blackout curtains and a nightlight - she’ll be happy.
gogohm · 08/10/2021 19:31

Just use the room you have and buy a new duvet cover

Original poster
Thoseshoulderslookace · 08/10/2021 19:31

@Offmyfence Doesn’t have to be fancy furniture just a lovely, homey place for her full of lovely things

OP posts:
HandScreen · 08/10/2021 19:31

Why would she need a toddler bed, when there's already a double bed in the room?

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 08/10/2021 19:32

I dont get why you have to have everything now. It took me years to be able to decorate the house when I was a single mum. Move her in and worry about decorating much later. Put posters up they are cheap.

TheViewFromTheCheapSeats · 08/10/2021 19:32

Lol, 5 kids- 3 bed semi here. All happy and normal.

Mamamamasaurus · 08/10/2021 19:33

You're the one making something more of it than it needs to be - decorated fully, lovely things, shelves, on and on..... I don't know what you think a 3 year old needs from a bedroom to be honest

Yourstupidityexhaustsme · 08/10/2021 19:33

Has she got a bed? Is it warm? Does she have clean bedding and pyjamas? Does she have clothes and toys? Is she bathed, fed and loved?

If so then you are doing absolutely fine. She's three, she's virtually still a baby. If she got to school and didn't have her own space I'd say just shot a peppa pig duvet on the spare bed and decorate in time but if it works for you what's the problem?

Tbf hats off to you for sleeping in a room with her full time. Mine snore like bastards.

maddening · 08/10/2021 19:33

I would go on fb marketplace, it really is excellent for furniture as furniture doesn't hold value unless collectable.

Original poster
Thoseshoulderslookace · 08/10/2021 19:34

@HandScreen It’s large and she could roll right off it, I’d like a proper kids bed for her

OP posts:
SylvanasWindrunner · 08/10/2021 19:35

Just get a bed guard. DD sleeps in a super king without me for long periods at a time and doesn't fall off!

TheLette · 08/10/2021 19:35

I think you can do it very cheaply if you want to. I've recently done my daughter's bedroom and some of the very cheap / free things I did were:

  • frame her artwork or free posters / flyers from museums in cheap IKEA frames (the frames are bright colours and cost £2 or so depending on size).
  • you can get reusable wall stickers in the form of multicoloured dots / stars / hearts etc. Cost me £40 for 2 packs but instantly transformed the room. You could just get 1 pack and do a feature wall / the area above her bed
  • I got a Great Little Trading company solid wooden shelf very cheap off Facebook, put that on the wall with her small cuddlies on it.
  • 1 bright cushion for the bed from TK Maxx plus I made a tiny one myself out of stuff we already had
  • due to having a chimney breast, the room is awkward for a wardrobe. We use an extendable shower curtain pole instead so all her pretty clothes are on display. Looks lovely and cost about £10.

I would keep the double bed if I were you, and just get any other furniture you need secondhand.

Rosesareyellow · 08/10/2021 19:36

I’m not wanting the best decor and didn’t say I was painting on the wall, but it does obviously need a toddler bed, shelves, carpet, wardrobe, chair, table, done decorations etc

OP she’s three years old, you’re a bit late to the party with a toddler bed. Sounds like a massive room with all that furniture. What do you want a table and chairs in there for? If you don’t want to put her in her own room be honest with yourself, because you’re obviously making reasons up to put it off. If she’s happily made do without a room at all for this whole time why would you need to be so extra about it all of a sudden? Is this actually because you’re partner’s keen to have her out?