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AIBU?

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Original poster

My daughter doesn’t have a bedroom-is this bad

369 replies

Thoseshoulderslookace · 08/10/2021 18:54

Dd, 3, sleeps in our room/bed, all her toys are downstairs..everywhere, plus in the garden etc. We have one extra bedroom that’s used as a spare room currently for when people come to stay. We’re getting it ready to be her bedroom, but it’s taking so long because it’s so expensive! Saving back a bit each month to decorate it all fully, buy the bed, shelves, chair, rugs, decorations etc etc.
Is it shit that she doesn’t have her own room yet? Feel so bad about it 🥲

OP posts:
Cactuslove · 08/10/2021 19:37

I have a 3yr old and for what it's worth he loves his room. He really takes ownership of it. Sometimes he will just play in his room rather than nap when he needs some down time.

I also have a 10 month old - he is in a plain room with no carpet. But I've put some frames up, nice curtains and he has his cot.

You get beautiful wall stickers now and dunelm often do the same style stickers/bedding/frames etc

Also I would just get a bed guard and put her in the double bed.

It sounds like you're happy with the set up. But I do think she would benefit from her own space and perhaps doesn't ask about her own room as she doesn't realise it's an option.

LittleBearPad · 08/10/2021 19:37

At 3 she’ll grow out of a toddler bed in the blink of an eye so the double bed is fine really

Does the room not have carpet already?

Icecreamsoda99 · 08/10/2021 19:37

Doesn’t have to be fancy furniture just a lovely, homey place for her full of lovely things

Once she starts having people over for play dates and going to other peoples homes she will want to have her own room (probably!). You do seem to have a focus on things looking a certain way, I'd advise not spending money on things you can't afford for what you think she wants, chances are say if you do it all out like a fairy grotto in a few years she'll think it's babyish and want something completely different. I do get it OP, my daughter's room is the most beautiful in the house, probably completely wasted on her but everything was free cycle or Market Place and handmade decorations from small Facebook businesses and a few choice pieces.

alexdgr8 · 08/10/2021 19:37

you seem to have a hang-up about this Op.
is it something to do with your own childhood.
did you long for such a room.
beware of projecting onto your daughter.

Unoriginal43 · 08/10/2021 19:38

In many cultures children sleep with their parents. Either in the same bed or the same room. Doesn’t mean the child can’t develop independence or that it’s going to affect her in any way.

I mean she’s 3. If she’s happy and you’re happy carry on.
They’ll want their own room soon enough

In4mation · 08/10/2021 19:38

Just put bed guards on the double.

Nutrigrainygoodness · 08/10/2021 19:39

Why put her in a toddler bed now, when in a year/ 18 months she will need a full sized bed anyway.
Double beds are great for kids, if they are ill/ had a nightmare/ just want some cuddles it's easier to climb into a big bed than a tiny kid bed.

Frazzled2207 · 08/10/2021 19:40

If you’re worried about money don’t waste it on a toddler bed. Just get a regular single which will last for years. At age 3 you really shouldn’t need to worry about her falling off.
If you really are you can get a cheap bed guard. Our ds2 slept with us for years. It really is better for everyone for them to have their own bed. As long as she has an actual bed I would be prioritising moving her into her own bed. ASAP.

Wotsitsarecheesy · 08/10/2021 19:40

It’s large and she could roll right off it, I’d like a proper kids bed for her

Just get side guards for the bed that's there and a fun duvet. Toddler beds really don't last long at all and I think a waste of money. It won't be long at all before she gets used to (and loves) having a big bed.

SmellyOldOwls · 08/10/2021 19:40

We had a similar situation with DS, I felt bad he didn't have his own room but we just weren't ready to sleep apart yet. Eventually I knew he was ready (he started kicking me in his sleep and shouting go away Blush) we had a spare room with a double bed already in it so I pushed it against the wall, put a bed guard on the other side, bought a new duvet and pillow and put up a few posters and stick pictures of his friends and family on the wall too. It cost about £25 and he likes having somewhere he can storm off to when he's in a strop Grin he doesn't have many toys in there though because I like bedrooms to just be for sleeping at this young age. But he can have them too when he's ready.

Original poster
Thoseshoulderslookace · 08/10/2021 19:41

@Rosesareyellow No, none of that, I literally haven’t been able to spare the extra each month, it’s gone on nursery, clothes, books etc, bills obviously. It always seems to be out until the end, but I’d love her to have a proper room

OP posts:
purplesequins · 08/10/2021 19:41

it's fine as long as she has her own bed.

TheOrigRights · 08/10/2021 19:42

For various reasons, my son didn't get his own room until he was 10.
He had a bed tucked in the corner of my room (I'm single).
He'd never known any different.
It didn't do him any harm and of course it was perfectly normal not that long ago.

Original poster
Thoseshoulderslookace · 08/10/2021 19:42

@LittleBearPad We’re abroad, it’s all tiled floor, but I’d like a large, soft rug for her in there

OP posts:
Frazzled2207 · 08/10/2021 19:42

Sorry re-read if there is a double
Already absolutely use that!

Plus a bed guard if you think you really need to.

Crazy to get rid of a double bed to buy a toddler bed for a 3yo.

Stressed21 · 08/10/2021 19:43

3 yo DS will be in our room for the foreseeable as he doesn't have a bedroom. We have 2 bedrooms, 17yo in the smallest room and me DP and DS in the bigger one. Not ideal and like pp sex life practically non-existent but not the end of the world

Yourstupidityexhaustsme · 08/10/2021 19:43

That being said OP, please don't worry about breaking the bank having to buy her new.

Our kids' bedroom furniture has 90% all been second hand. We got solid wooden beds off facebook marketplace, bought wardrobe and chest of drawer from a woman down the road and got a toy box and book case for a steal from a charity shop in town.

I also got curtains and some decorations from the bargain bin section of IKEA. To be fair the real expense was hiring a van to collect it all.

Paint/shelves etc can also be bought for dirt cheap from B & Q.

Don't think you need to hold yourself to an unreachable standard - she will love it and the effort you put into it regardless of whether it's pinterest worthy or not!

Dddccc · 08/10/2021 19:44

She does not need all that stuff they room is already suitable and you upgrade a bit at a time toddler beds she would be out within a year so pointless get a bed guard instead

MissAmbrosia · 08/10/2021 19:44

A 3 year old shouldn't roll out of a double bed. Get some posters and a rug and job done.

Original poster
Thoseshoulderslookace · 08/10/2021 19:45

@alexdgr8 Not projecting anything, I always had a lovely bedroom, decorating each time I’d grown out of a phase I guess. I do feel shit that I’ve not been able to put enough away/sort out a nice bedroom for her, feeling the pressure now she’s getting older

OP posts:
riotlady · 08/10/2021 19:45

Think you are making more of a thing of the decor than you need to. But don’t think you need to worry- my DD has a room but she sleeps with me for most of the night and has most of her toys in the living room so it’s not like she uses it much.

Bimblybomeyelash · 08/10/2021 19:45

My 5 year old never plays in his bedroom. He prefers to play downstairs. And he’d be over the moon if he was allowed to sleep in my bed every night! I don’t think no bedroom is a massive deal. But I do think it’s a bit odd that you have the room, and a bed, and you haven’t put her in it! I found sharing a bed with a 3 year old a blimmin nightmare!

Vindo · 08/10/2021 19:46

Children's bedrooms really don't need to be anything fancy.

We live in a newly built house and the walls are all plain white, and all carpets are beige. We got a load of bedding sets from a friend who's children had outgrown Peppa and dinosaurs. Put a couple of cheap but cute pictures up on the walls and with a few toys it will look absolutely fine! You can get loads of decent furniture second hand on Facebook, it doesn't have to be specifically for kids once they are past the baby stage.

WorraLiberty · 08/10/2021 19:50

[quote Thoseshoulderslookace]@Rosesareyellow No, none of that, I literally haven’t been able to spare the extra each month, it’s gone on nursery, clothes, books etc, bills obviously. It always seems to be out until the end, but I’d love her to have a proper room[/quote]
She's got a proper room but you're using it for guests.

As others have said, just buy a bed guard and shove her in there with a few posters for now. The rest can be done as and when.

Runforthehillocks · 08/10/2021 19:51

Why don't you explain to her that that is her room, and she can sleep in it whenever she wants. I think you'll find she prefers to sleep with you! But at least then she 'has a room' even if she doesn't use it!