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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To text a one night stand?

328 replies

itistragic · 06/10/2021 19:34

I had a one night stand 2 weeks ago. When I say one night stand, it was a one night stand however he has messaged me periodically the past 6 years basically 'what are you upto' texts that go nowhere. We have also seen each other at gathering etc but nothing ever happened.

Anyway, 2 weeks ago, he messaged me, I said come over and we had sex. It was great, I really enjoyed it. However, I haven't heard from him since and I haven't contacted him either, which is not a problem and to be expected for one night stands. But I find myself tonight really itching to text him, just offering a repeat basically.

Will this come across as desperate? I'm scared that he might reject me? I'm on the larger side (5ft 3 in, 15 stone) , my friends tell me that he wouldn't have slept with me if he had a problem with my weight but I know better.

By messaging him I am in no way hoping for a relationship, I am definetely not looking for that. Just another genuinely amazing shag.

WIBU to message him? And if not...what do I message?

OP posts:
Notimeforaname · 06/10/2021 19:37

You're an adult. You can do as you want.

Notimeforaname · 06/10/2021 19:38

Just text him the same thing...'what are you up to'

Matrons · 06/10/2021 19:39

Yes go for it. Life is short and good sex rare.
I'd just send a short msg like "i've been thinking about you this evening 😉" and see if he replies.

You have nothing to lose.

sonjadog · 06/10/2021 19:41

Text him. If you are sure you want nothing more than sex, what have you got to lose?

Frazzledmummy123 · 06/10/2021 19:43

I don't think you would be being unreasonable or look desparate as it sounds like you are both on the same page for what you want from it when you meet.

I would send a general "how are you?" or "what are you up to?" message and take it from there.

Sparklesocks · 06/10/2021 19:45

If you’re only interested in a casual thing then I wouldn’t worry about appearing desperate or what he might think etc because it’s not like you’re invested. Nothing to lose by texting him.

Chickoletta · 06/10/2021 19:46

As PPs have said, what have you got to lose here? Send a cheeky text and see how he responds.

Original poster
itistragic · 06/10/2021 19:46

See I feel like rather than a general how are you, what you upto etc I need to be more direct. At least that way he can decline if not interested rather than replying out of politeness.

OP posts:
freudien · 06/10/2021 19:46

Text him. And have sex. Wear something makes you feel confident. And enjoy it! Own it. He's lucky to be handling that booty! Wink

Original poster
itistragic · 06/10/2021 19:47

A cheeky text saying what?

OP posts:
freudien · 06/10/2021 19:49

@itistragic

A cheeky text saying what?
Do you have any in jokes?
Calvinlookingforhobbes · 06/10/2021 19:51

“Hey, how’s your evening going?”

Calvinlookingforhobbes · 06/10/2021 19:52

Then when he replies suggest he could always come over if he is bored/stressed etc

Original poster
itistragic · 06/10/2021 19:52

What about, 'hey, I've been thinking of the other night loads 😉 would you be up for a repeat sometime?'

OP posts:
Original poster
itistragic · 06/10/2021 19:53

God I'm cringing

OP posts:
Original poster
itistragic · 06/10/2021 19:57

Or 'Just say hey, up to much this wknd? Fancy another catch up?'

OP posts:
Ironi · 06/10/2021 19:57

I want to have sex with you. Do you want to have sex with me. Yes or no answer only.

freudien · 06/10/2021 19:58

@Calvinlookingforhobbes

Then when he replies suggest he could always come over if he is bored/stressed etc
Do exactly what @Calvinlookingforhobbes is saying "how's your evening going" then he replies "you could always come over if you're boredWink" That's it
freudien · 06/10/2021 19:59

@Ironi

I want to have sex with you. Do you want to have sex with me. Yes or no answer only.
love it!! haha
YouTubeAddict · 06/10/2021 20:02

Ooh a potential FWB situation, how exciting. You’ve got to go for it! Many moons ago I had one of those and when I sent or received one of those texts it was so exciting 😂

Original poster
itistragic · 06/10/2021 20:05

Right I'm just about to message 'hey, I've been thinking of the other night loads 😉 would you be up for a repeat sometime?' Is that highly embarassing?

OP posts:
1forAll74 · 06/10/2021 20:05

He might well like an Are you up for it, message, but I would not like that term, it sounds cheapo.. Just be a bit seductive, and see what happens, and if he is free. for some fun.

Myusernameisnotmyusernameno · 06/10/2021 20:07

I'd say I was just thinking how fun the other night was and wondering if you fancy a repeat

DollyPartBaked · 06/10/2021 20:08

I mean i would just say 'thinking about the other night Wink - want to meet up again?'

Basically I'd drop the 'loads'. Don't fluff his ego too much Grin

Original poster
itistragic · 06/10/2021 20:08

@Myusernameisnotmyusernameno

I'd say I was just thinking how fun the other night was and wondering if you fancy a repeat
Perfect, that's what I'm going with. Scared incase he didn't think the other night was much fun but nothing ventured etc.
OP posts: