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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To text a one night stand?

328 replies

itistragic · 06/10/2021 19:34

I had a one night stand 2 weeks ago. When I say one night stand, it was a one night stand however he has messaged me periodically the past 6 years basically 'what are you upto' texts that go nowhere. We have also seen each other at gathering etc but nothing ever happened.

Anyway, 2 weeks ago, he messaged me, I said come over and we had sex. It was great, I really enjoyed it. However, I haven't heard from him since and I haven't contacted him either, which is not a problem and to be expected for one night stands. But I find myself tonight really itching to text him, just offering a repeat basically.

Will this come across as desperate? I'm scared that he might reject me? I'm on the larger side (5ft 3 in, 15 stone) , my friends tell me that he wouldn't have slept with me if he had a problem with my weight but I know better.

By messaging him I am in no way hoping for a relationship, I am definetely not looking for that. Just another genuinely amazing shag.

WIBU to message him? And if not...what do I message?

OP posts:
MKCH · 06/10/2021 21:45

@robbooftheford

I never bother with a woman again who has it on a first night
Here, have an ODFOD.
OldTinHat · 06/10/2021 21:46

Go for it! Absolutely! Seriously, I'm the same height and weight as you and if I had the opportunity I would!! Ooooh I so would!!!

RosieLemonadeAndSugar · 06/10/2021 21:46

@robbooftheford

I never bother with a woman again who has it on a first night
🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
HappyDays101010 · 06/10/2021 21:51

I never bother with a woman again who has it on a first night

I’ve not met a fuckable fella yet who thinks like that.

OldTinHat · 06/10/2021 21:51

@Robbooftheford Aren't you a delight? First one to get your leg over and dump after the first date no doubt.

CatOfTheLand · 06/10/2021 21:51

@robbooftheford

I never bother with a woman again who has it on a first night
So you're a philanthropist then?
Bounce55 · 06/10/2021 21:52

@robbooftheford

I never bother with a woman again who has it on a first night
Let's hope they don't bother with you then eh? Double standards much
MintyCedric · 06/10/2021 21:53

@robbooftheford the fifties called...they want you back (though fuck knows why)

Itsbeen84yearss · 06/10/2021 21:54

Won’t end well. You sound like you have low self esteem. You’ll end up hurt.

Bounce55 · 06/10/2021 21:56

@itistragic

It's depressing as it just makes me think it's to do with my weight. But I just can you do. I have no control
Nothing to do with your weight, there are a lot of men that love a more voluptuous figure
Embroidery · 06/10/2021 21:57

Hey x

Itsbeen84yearss · 06/10/2021 21:59

@robbooftheford

I never bother with a woman again who has it on a first night
No idea why you’re getting beaten up for this. Most men think the same way as you. Women would do better accepting this truth and stopping expecting men to stick around after early sex.
HellonHeels · 06/10/2021 22:01

@robbooftheford

I never bother with a woman again who has it on a first night
FFS
nettie434 · 06/10/2021 22:02

@robbooftheford

I never bother with a woman again who has it on a first night
It wasn't really a first night though was it? They have texted each other for 6 years and met occasionally in real life. I do hope you pay more attention to your 'woman's' needs than you have to reading what the OP said.

At least you know where you stand now itistragic. As others say, make plans to meet somebody else who will appreciate you.

Zucker · 06/10/2021 22:04

@robbooftheford

I never bother with a woman again who has it on a first night
Get you! Big man of the world. Bet the women are only RAGING you don't get back in touch.
Siameasy · 06/10/2021 22:10

Maybe he doesn’t want to look too keen ?

ArabellaScott · 06/10/2021 22:12

So you're a philanthropist then?

Grin
perfectasalways · 06/10/2021 22:13

Zucker you're a real treat aren't you? If you do manage to get any women, which I seriously doubt I bet they are cringing the next day so I wouldn't worry about it.

perfectasalways · 06/10/2021 22:15

Itsbeen84yearss OMG you are just as bad. What century are you all living in? I better be off and tighten my chastity belt!

Rainbow1378 · 06/10/2021 22:16

🤞🏻

toocold54 · 06/10/2021 22:20

No idea why you’re getting beaten up for this. Most men think the same way as you. Women would do better accepting this truth and stopping expecting men to stick around after early sex.

Lots of women feel the same way too.
If a man is so quick to jump into bed with her on the first night they lose respect for them and don’t meet up or have sex with them again.

But OP has known this man for 6 years so I don’t think it’s relevant to either of them in this case.

freudien · 06/10/2021 22:22

@robbooftheford

I never bother with a woman again who has it on a first night
Are you currently single? Thought so.
PlaidMaid · 06/10/2021 22:23

Is this on WhatsApp OP? Has he read the message? He may have archived your chat and therefore you are muted and he hasn’t seen your message. It’s easy to miss. I have fallen victim to this before!

TheChip · 06/10/2021 22:24

Maybe he's just waiting until he actually fancies it before he replies. He will probably text saying something like "free now if you're still up for it"
It can't be your weight otherwise he wouldn't have the first time.
It could be that he has been in touch all these years because he wanted to add you to his list or something, and now he has he's no longer bothered.
But honestly, I think he will text when he wants his leg over. He knows you're up for it again.

sonjadog · 06/10/2021 22:25

I would give him at least 24 hours. He might be out with his mates, visiting his mum, at a work function. There are many places he could be where answering a text about whether or not he is up for sex isn’t something he wants to concentrate on there and then.