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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To text a one night stand?

328 replies

itistragic · 06/10/2021 19:34

I had a one night stand 2 weeks ago. When I say one night stand, it was a one night stand however he has messaged me periodically the past 6 years basically 'what are you upto' texts that go nowhere. We have also seen each other at gathering etc but nothing ever happened.

Anyway, 2 weeks ago, he messaged me, I said come over and we had sex. It was great, I really enjoyed it. However, I haven't heard from him since and I haven't contacted him either, which is not a problem and to be expected for one night stands. But I find myself tonight really itching to text him, just offering a repeat basically.

Will this come across as desperate? I'm scared that he might reject me? I'm on the larger side (5ft 3 in, 15 stone) , my friends tell me that he wouldn't have slept with me if he had a problem with my weight but I know better.

By messaging him I am in no way hoping for a relationship, I am definetely not looking for that. Just another genuinely amazing shag.

WIBU to message him? And if not...what do I message?

OP posts:
Cherryana · 06/10/2021 21:26

Any updates? Is your silence because he came round?

TheDuchessOfMN · 06/10/2021 21:27

I’d give him until tomorrow. Maybe he’s busy. Maybe he doesn’t want to appear too keen.

HappyDays101010 · 06/10/2021 21:27

Hmm, if he's online and usually an instant replier, then I think the OPs instincts are probably correct. But at least you know now OP, onwards and upwards!

Droppingdown · 06/10/2021 21:27

Definitely over invested here! I hope you get your fill 😁

EmmetEmma · 06/10/2021 21:28

I’m a bit pissed off on your behalf that he hasn’t had the balls to reply one way or another.

Please don’t let it shake you if he doesn’t reply over the next few days - you enjoyed it once and were grown up and didn’t waste the opportunity to see if he’d be up for it again. It just didn’t play out this time. If he can’t think of an answer that he wants to give then onwards and upwards with the good memory of that night. Please do not feel embarrassed or crap if he does not reply.

I would also bet you a chunk of money that you will hear from him again - but I hope you sack him off if you consider the timescale to be unacceptable

TakeMe2Insanity · 06/10/2021 21:28

Maybe he is running round to OP?

toocold54 · 06/10/2021 21:28

It’s literally been a single hour. There can be all sorts of reasons why someone hasn’t replied to a message sent 60 minutes ago.

But it’s been 6 years of texts not going anywhere.

If he was that interested he would make more of an effort even if he just wants sex but he’s not even doing that so if I was OP I wouldn’t waste my time.

overnightangel · 06/10/2021 21:28

Shamelessly 👀

Original poster
itistragic · 06/10/2021 21:29

Yeah no response. Very depressing but what can you do?

OP posts:
incognitodorrito · 06/10/2021 21:31

@itistragic

Yeah no response. Very depressing but what can you do?
Get yourself on tinder, you'll get lots of interest and it feels good on evenings when you need an ego boost.
Dizzy1234 · 06/10/2021 21:32

Why am I so invested in someone else getting their leg over 😂

StepawayfromtheBiscuittin · 06/10/2021 21:32

@itistragic glad you sent the message though. Otherwise you'd have been wondering.
Fingers crossed he replies.

SpeedRunParent · 06/10/2021 21:32

If you hadn't sent the message you would still be wondering. You can put it to bed now and move on. Good for you.

Bounce55 · 06/10/2021 21:33

👀👀👀👀

Original poster
itistragic · 06/10/2021 21:33

My friend has put on ABBA don't shut me down on. To cheer me up 🤣

OP posts:
Clara91 · 06/10/2021 21:34

Hope you're OK. At least you know where you stand now.

Ilovenandos · 06/10/2021 21:34

Don’t give up hope, he may be playing it cool!

Original poster
itistragic · 06/10/2021 21:35

It's depressing as it just makes me think it's to do with my weight. But I just can you do. I have no control

OP posts:
Original poster
itistragic · 06/10/2021 21:36

What can you do*

OP posts:
MondeoFan · 06/10/2021 21:38

Don't give up hope just yet

ivegotthisyeah · 06/10/2021 21:40

@itistragic

It's depressing as it just makes me think it's to do with my weight. But I just can you do. I have no control
Bet you 💯 you'll get a message in the next few days your feeling horny now he might be at work or having tea with his granny as someone else said- he will be in contact
robbooftheford · 06/10/2021 21:42

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

beastlyslumber · 06/10/2021 21:43

I highly recommend Matthew Hussey's videos on youtube. Honestly, check him out. He covers so much useful stuff about dating, texting, one night stands, everything to do with dating and relationships. He even has a series where he literally suggests what to text in any given situation. And his focus is always on high quality communication and protecting your self esteem.

RugCarpet22 · 06/10/2021 21:44

Yes, text him! You're not offering your heart on a plate, just some fun 😊

TubeOfSmarties · 06/10/2021 21:45

@robbooftheford

I never bother with a woman again who has it on a first night
Oh ok, there's something wrong with her for doing that, but it's fine for you?

Ugh.

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