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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To text a one night stand?

328 replies

itistragic · 06/10/2021 19:34

I had a one night stand 2 weeks ago. When I say one night stand, it was a one night stand however he has messaged me periodically the past 6 years basically 'what are you upto' texts that go nowhere. We have also seen each other at gathering etc but nothing ever happened.

Anyway, 2 weeks ago, he messaged me, I said come over and we had sex. It was great, I really enjoyed it. However, I haven't heard from him since and I haven't contacted him either, which is not a problem and to be expected for one night stands. But I find myself tonight really itching to text him, just offering a repeat basically.

Will this come across as desperate? I'm scared that he might reject me? I'm on the larger side (5ft 3 in, 15 stone) , my friends tell me that he wouldn't have slept with me if he had a problem with my weight but I know better.

By messaging him I am in no way hoping for a relationship, I am definetely not looking for that. Just another genuinely amazing shag.

WIBU to message him? And if not...what do I message?

OP posts:
Notimeforaname · 06/10/2021 20:34

Agree with lister above. He could be doing any number of things, he's not being rude.

Notimeforaname · 06/10/2021 20:34

Poster*

Ugzbugz · 06/10/2021 20:34

Sometimes I don't reply straight away to certain people depending on who I'm around and who could see and if I need to think carefully about what I'm going to say so he could just be waiting for his moment and planning what to say.

If he doesn't reply by tomoz, delete and forget him, you've lost nothing.

MadeForThis · 06/10/2021 20:35

He could be drinking tea with his granny. Give him a chance.

squee123 · 06/10/2021 20:35

Don't panic just yet. Just because he was online doesn't mean he was in the position to read and respond

rwalker · 06/10/2021 20:35

Wouldn't say it's rude just thinking .

MushMonster · 06/10/2021 20:37

Just wait, give him some room to reply!
I cannot understand this obsession people have with checking if others are online!
Well done for following with what you want OP. Whatever he decides, you have taken the matter on your hands, and put down clearly what you want. Hopefully you will get some fun out of it.

Fubitch · 06/10/2021 20:47

I did this with a bloke I really liked and slept with. I didn't even have his number, I tracked him down on Facebook and asked if he fancied a repeat. We're now married.

Even if it's a no, you did the right thing.

Inthesameboatatmo · 06/10/2021 20:52

How long does he usually take to reply to the sporadic texts you've had from him over the years, don't write it off just yet .

Tal45 · 06/10/2021 20:52

@DollyPartBaked

I mean i would just say 'thinking about the other night Wink - want to meet up again?'

Basically I'd drop the 'loads'. Don't fluff his ego too much Grin

This x
Original poster
itistragic · 06/10/2021 20:55

@Inthesameboatatmo

How long does he usually take to reply to the sporadic texts you've had from him over the years, don't write it off just yet .
He's usually instant. I've just about given up
OP posts:
JML001 · 06/10/2021 20:55

Whether he responds or not I totally think you did the right thing! You might get a response at the weekend, Friday night fling Wink

TTCyay · 06/10/2021 20:58

If you don't ask, you don't get. It's good that you've asked, otherwise you'll never know.
Don't stress just yet, he could still respond.
He will probably wait until Friday night ;)

Wineandroses3 · 06/10/2021 21:03

Has he replied yet? x

AramintaLee · 06/10/2021 21:06

I'd give it a bit more time before giving up! I'm sure he'll get back to you. He's probably read the "preview" message and is playing it cool whilst he thinks of a reply.

annacondom · 06/10/2021 21:07

Maybe he's eating, or watching some film on TV, or talking to his mother on the land line... whatevs. Let us know what transpires, but if nothing, at least you gave it a go xx

toocold54 · 06/10/2021 21:11

Don’t message him honestly he has your number so he would have messaged you by now if he wanted to. As you’ve known him so long and it’s taken 6 years to have sex with him then he’s obviously not someone you want to waste your time on.

If you’re looking to date or have a ONS have you looked on tinder or anywhere?
You say you’re larger but lots of men will like that so don’t let that put you off.

toocold54 · 06/10/2021 21:14

Sorry just RTFT and saw you texted him.he seems flaky so even if he replies I wouldn’t bother texting him back or meeting up with him.

If you’re not good enough to text and chat with, you’re not good enough to have sex with. I don’t mind ONS but only if the other person is respectful which this guy doesn’t sound like he is so you’ve dodged a bullet.

Shirleyphallus · 06/10/2021 21:18

Feel weirdly invested in this!

dazzlerdo · 06/10/2021 21:18

Block his number! Sounds like he already got what he wanted and no longer interested. Don't waste your time Thanks

HollowTalk · 06/10/2021 21:19

I'm sure he's seen your message. It would've flashed up on his screen but he didn't have to open it to read it.

If he is going to reject it then he should at least have the decency to make up a good excuse.

Winniemarysarah · 06/10/2021 21:21

@toocold54

Sorry just RTFT and saw you texted him.he seems flaky so even if he replies I wouldn’t bother texting him back or meeting up with him.

If you’re not good enough to text and chat with, you’re not good enough to have sex with. I don’t mind ONS but only if the other person is respectful which this guy doesn’t sound like he is so you’ve dodged a bullet.

It’s literally been a single hour. There can be all sorts of reasons why someone hasn’t replied to a message sent 60 minutes ago. Op I think he’ll reply. If you’re just after a shag then normal relationship texting etiquette obviously doesn’t apply. I’d give him a whole day or two before writing him off
Globaluser · 06/10/2021 21:23

Good for nothing bastard!

QuicklyNowThen · 06/10/2021 21:24

Calm op give it time

incognitodorrito · 06/10/2021 21:26

He might be focusing on the next shag right now, it's a numbers game for a lot of men. However as you are after a FWB with no strings attached, give it a day or two.