AIBU to get DH and OW in trouble at work?

[Revenge2021]

Long time lurker, a few posts but NC for this.

DH and I are mid-60s, professionals, no children (by choice). Generally content, or so I thought.

He went into work at the weekend, which was a little unusual but he works in a hospital - they have been so busy lately and he said he wanted to 'get caught up' with work so I thought nothing of it. This afternoon however I got an email from a colleague of his - she's sort of a friend of ours as she's worked with him for years but we're not close friends or anything. She said that she'd gone in on Sunday to catch up on work and seen DH kissing someone in his office and that she thought I ought to know. I immediately rang her and she was very cagey - said that as DH and her work together she didn't want him to know that it came from her but again that 'I ought to know'.

I managed to drag out of her that this woman is a colleague of theirs, mid-40s, also married, with a son. When I pressed her for more details she admitted that she had had suspicions about the two of them as long as 2 years ago when they all went to a conference - she thought they were acting strangely but couldn't confirm anything so didn't tell me!

Has he been having sex with this woman for 2 years?! Or if they were only kissing does that mean that this is as far as it's gone? I am livid and sick and devastated and don't know what to do. I've looked up OW on social media, she's dark haired and slim and pretty and just his type

I was thinking of getting in touch with the line manager of the OW and telling them that she's been having an inappropriate relationship with a colleague, and doing the same with my DH line manager. I would ask them to keep it anonymous so they wouldn't know it came from me or DH colleague. Please don't tell me to LTB I'm 64 and I just can't start again on my own. I just want them both to suffer a bit, I can't think what else to do.

@MrsBerthaRochester

Is your dh wealthy? Senior to her? Im mid 40s and I find the idea of sex with a mid 60s man repulsive. She is probably a gold digger. I would make as much trouble for them as I could.

WTAF?

I'm in my late 40s and my DP is in his late 60s.

I have considerably more money than he has, so it's bloody ridiculous to think that a younger woman must be a gold-digger.

I wouldn't "make trouble" either, as those sorts of things tend to bounce back on you. It's a certain type of person who "makes trouble".

@Jenufer, I do understand what you’re saying, I’m fifty two but for me a public affair, possibly one which went on for years would be game over. It would be too humiliating to stay, but I get we are all different.

Sorry to hear you are going through this @Revenge2021.

How are things?

I don't have any advice but whatever you do, retain your dignity and integrity. That will give you strength.

@MrsBerthaRochester

Is your dh wealthy? Senior to her? Im mid 40s and I find the idea of sex with a mid 60s man repulsive. She is probably a gold digger. I would make as much trouble for them as I could.

I'm mid 40s, my most recent ex is mid 60s. I fell in love with him and not his age. Certainly not his bank balance. I earn way more than he does.

Parroting out these stereotypes does no-one any favours, least of all women.

To all the 40s women married to or partnered with a man in their 60s,that's your choice. It's not the one for me as in another ten years time they are very unlikely to still have the same energy and will probably have health complaints. You will be taking on a caring role while essentially still in your prime. Not a choice I would make personally. We can kid ourselves on that age is but a number but it really is not.