To think bus drivers should manage the behaviour of teenagers on their bus?

[user64323]

I get the bus to and from school with my reception age child. I am really struggling with how to cope with the awful behaviour of teenagers from the school next door to my son's. For the record, this is a public bus, and not a school bus.

Today as usual there were no empty double seats, and my son was wobbly trying to hold on to the bar so I asked a teenage girl if she could please move her leg off the seat next to her so he could sit down. She moved it slightly but refused to move her knee off it, as she was talking to her friends in the seats behind. She then went on and on about how she was going to fucking batter the stupid fucking bitch etc on and on and on. A girl on the other side of the aisle kept kicking the back of my leg. As soon as a seat became available further up I moved my son into it to try and get away from the swearing. Unfortunately this was right next to a group of younger teens about age 13 who were very roughly play fighting, swiping each others legs, smacking each other over the head, hitting with bags, kicking etc eventually when one was grabbing another in the aisle by the ankles trying to knock him backwards I asked them to please stop, because if he falls back he is going to land on my son. They stopped for maybe a minute and then just carried on.

Then one boy huffed very loudly behind me, apparently because his stop was approaching. Then he did the same to the people in front and started swearing about needing to get off. I told him to try saying excuse me, and people might move for him. A few more pushed passed me. Then approaching our stop a boy probably about 16 or 17 and 6ft tall shoved me out the way very roughly by my shoulder followed by 'scuse' and nearly knocked me off my feet, I confronted him and told him I was also getting off at this stop and if he'd said excuse me I could have told him and there is no need to push me. Then my son who no longer had anything to hold on to fell over into the fighting kids while the boy who shoved me was screaming 'Who the fuck are you talking to? who the fuck do you think you are! I fucking said excuse me you stupid cow' etc I left the bus very shaken up and queried the driver about the fighting kids and asked why they hadn't been asked to leave the bus, and he said there was nothing they could do about it because they have a duty of care to minors. I said, so they could do anything they want? He said yes, I ended up crying, I was just full of frustration and shock from being shoved, and now I don't think I can ever get on the bus again because they know they can do whatever they want and they saw me so upset and probably revelled in it.

What about a duty of care to other passengers? If this was a school bus service I would understand, but this is a public route. The buses on the route are every half hour so they wouldn't be left stranded if they behaved enough to be asked to leave. Surely a bus driver isn't in loco parentis? I will be getting in touch with the bus company to find out if this is right, but if it is, I don't feel safe to take the bus anymore. If adults fought or shoved they'd be done for assault, so how is this allowed?

There is a very small minority of other pupils who take this bus who hate it too, they will offer a seat or ask others to say excuse me when they shove and they look absolutely miserable, there should be a duty of care to them too.

AIBU to think that teenagers shouldn't be able to run riot on public buses, and bus drivers should have a duty of care to other passengers to keep them under control or kick them off?

Well YANBU to be upset but I don’t think it’s the driver’s remit

That is a very awful situation. The teen in particular sounds unhinged. I wouldn't use the bus again. But I'd make a big fuss in doing that. On community forum on Facebook, a letter of complaint to the bus company and to the school.

Contact the school and they are likely to deal with it. When I was at school the school used to regularly call the students who got the public bus into the hall for a bollocking about their behaviour. They represent the school if they are in uniform.

Definitely report to the school

Complain to the school. I don't know what they'd do now, but back 100 years ago when I was at school there were complaints about behaviour at bus stops and we had teachers sent out to supervise.

How would you expect the bus driver to manage them?

I’d report to the school if I was you.

Record them and send it to the school and the bus company. They should be kicked off for behaving like that.

Report to the school.

There will be camera on the bus anyway won't there. I agree to report to the school, I was spat on once by a school kid (lovely I know) I reported it and went in and looked through the school pics on the pc with one of the teachers to identify who did it. Little shit

Tell the school

Report it to the school. That should have been your first move. Once you had dropped your son at his school, you should have walked over to the high school, gone into the office and spoken to them. You should have told them word for word what they older boy said to you, and asked to identify him etc. You could also call.the police because he shoved you and then started shouting and swearing at you and he is old enough to be reported. Make it very clear to the police that you feel unsafe, that his threatening behaviour is only aimed at you, a woman alone with a young child etc.
They need to start acting on younger men when they show this sort of behaviour to women so report it. School and police.

I feel your pain op, I live next to a secondary school (like 5 mins walk) and getting on the bus with them is horrendous, I actually dread it, the driver will stop at the stop and 30+ teens will get on and pack out the bus scream and shout at each other, swear, throw things, fight, block the doors so people can’t get off, I would try to avoid it but I need the bus to pick up my kids from school, I could walk but honestly that’s worse, they are all over the streets blocking the pavement when I Try to pass, refusing to move, big gangs of them fighting etc, it’s just so awful I’m going to start leaving earlier and getting to my children’s school earlier and waiting outside for half an hour just to avoid them! I don’t expect the driver to do anything though, I wish they had school buses like in America!

I would call the bus company and school. But the bus driver is not going to be able to do a lot while driving.

Why don't those of you who have said the OP is being unreasonable explain why?

OP I feel for you. As another person has said you should contact the school as well as the bus company.

YADNBU for wanting and expecting civility and safety on the buses.

I was able to avoid

What horrendous behaviour, it sounds like an awful experience! I would contact the school, describing the children, which stops they got off at etc and what they said to you/how intimidating they were etc.
As someone else has mentioned they are representing the school whilst in uniform.
Hopefully the school will be able to do something.
I would also contact the bus company too. That must be an unpleasant journey for the bus driver, maybe they feel intimidated by the children too.
I certainly would avoid that bus in future if possible.

That sounds horrible, I'm sorry you have to experience that

However the driver really can't do much. If he stops the bus, the teens won't give a shit, they'll keep fighting and talking to their friends. If he puts an announcement up, they'll ignore it. All that does is inconvenience paying passengers more.

It's difficult, the best thing is identify and tell the school. Look at the face, hairstyle, height, backpack etc. And tell

The bus driver can't do anything ime.
Do complain to the school.

I doubt the school would do anything tbh as it’s outside of school premises and they can’t really control every single child after they’ve left school.

The bus driver is literally that. The driver of the bus.

They're not there to tell kids off - can you imagine how that would work? They need to concentrate on the roads etc not be getting involved in disputes.

Contact the school. Get the bus before / after if you can. Or just continue to get the bus and figure out the best coping mechanisms for you, unfortunately some kids are little sh*ts.

Complain to the school and the bus co. It’s not the driver’s fault b

Ask the bus company for the CCTV as soon as you can, before it's recorded over.

The bus driver is there to drive the bus. Not parent the kids. Can you imagine the Daily Mail sad faces if he'd have chucked them off and it was raining/cold/snowing/dark?! Not worth it for the wages and the hassle he gets. I'm speaking from experience here.
Phone the school. I've done it a few times. One local school had a teacher accompanying them at the bus stop. They could have done with going on the bus as well to see the really awful behaviour. It's rubbish OP. I'd be ashamed if my kids behaved like that.

@BakingOfTheFoodCats

I doubt the school would do anything tbh as it’s outside of school premises and they can’t really control every single child after they’ve left school.

That’s not true.

As a pp said, in uniform they are representing the school and the school will very much want to put an end to the behaviour pronto.

Sounds awful but I understand the bus driver not wanting to get involved.
The behaviour of children is getting worse. You can only blame parents.

You report stuff like this to the school. Take note of any names you hear, bags with logos, descriptions of coats, descriptions including hair colour/approx age etc.
Tell the school what route/bus number and as much information as you can.

Schools deal with this sort of thing all the time and will track them down (& bollock them). Their parents are informed and they get punished (detention etc) for bringing the school into disrepute.