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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think bus drivers should manage the behaviour of teenagers on their bus?

222 replies

user64323 · 01/10/2021 21:34

I get the bus to and from school with my reception age child. I am really struggling with how to cope with the awful behaviour of teenagers from the school next door to my son's. For the record, this is a public bus, and not a school bus.

Today as usual there were no empty double seats, and my son was wobbly trying to hold on to the bar so I asked a teenage girl if she could please move her leg off the seat next to her so he could sit down. She moved it slightly but refused to move her knee off it, as she was talking to her friends in the seats behind. She then went on and on about how she was going to fucking batter the stupid fucking bitch etc on and on and on. A girl on the other side of the aisle kept kicking the back of my leg. As soon as a seat became available further up I moved my son into it to try and get away from the swearing. Unfortunately this was right next to a group of younger teens about age 13 who were very roughly play fighting, swiping each others legs, smacking each other over the head, hitting with bags, kicking etc eventually when one was grabbing another in the aisle by the ankles trying to knock him backwards I asked them to please stop, because if he falls back he is going to land on my son. They stopped for maybe a minute and then just carried on.

Then one boy huffed very loudly behind me, apparently because his stop was approaching. Then he did the same to the people in front and started swearing about needing to get off. I told him to try saying excuse me, and people might move for him. A few more pushed passed me. Then approaching our stop a boy probably about 16 or 17 and 6ft tall shoved me out the way very roughly by my shoulder followed by 'scuse' and nearly knocked me off my feet, I confronted him and told him I was also getting off at this stop and if he'd said excuse me I could have told him and there is no need to push me. Then my son who no longer had anything to hold on to fell over into the fighting kids while the boy who shoved me was screaming 'Who the fuck are you talking to? who the fuck do you think you are! I fucking said excuse me you stupid cow' etc I left the bus very shaken up and queried the driver about the fighting kids and asked why they hadn't been asked to leave the bus, and he said there was nothing they could do about it because they have a duty of care to minors. I said, so they could do anything they want? He said yes, I ended up crying, I was just full of frustration and shock from being shoved, and now I don't think I can ever get on the bus again because they know they can do whatever they want and they saw me so upset and probably revelled in it.

What about a duty of care to other passengers? If this was a school bus service I would understand, but this is a public route. The buses on the route are every half hour so they wouldn't be left stranded if they behaved enough to be asked to leave. Surely a bus driver isn't in loco parentis? I will be getting in touch with the bus company to find out if this is right, but if it is, I don't feel safe to take the bus anymore. If adults fought or shoved they'd be done for assault, so how is this allowed?

There is a very small minority of other pupils who take this bus who hate it too, they will offer a seat or ask others to say excuse me when they shove and they look absolutely miserable, there should be a duty of care to them too.

AIBU to think that teenagers shouldn't be able to run riot on public buses, and bus drivers should have a duty of care to other passengers to keep them under control or kick them off?

OP posts:
AuntieObnoxious · 01/10/2021 22:06

Report it to the school. They can identify the students and report it to their parents.
Be vocal on local social media too, bus timing school as much detail as you remember about the students involved. That happens by me and invariably a parent or 2 gets tagged ‘isn’t that your xxxx’
Behaviour improves as the kids become aware that’s there a come back to their actions.
Moaning on here won’t change anything about it.

Dreamstate · 01/10/2021 22:06

Oh well this is a glimpsw of what your child will be like, get used to it! And before you say they won't be im sure the parents of all those kids say the same.

TheWoleb · 01/10/2021 22:07

@BakingOfTheFoodCats

When I was at school, so about 20 years ago, there were a lot if complaints from one particular bus. The headmaster got on that bus one morning before it went round the stops that the public had complained about the kids from. So he was on the bus and they did acted up the way they always did and they got a bollocking from him while on the bus, made to apologise to the other passengers and then given detentions, punishment exercises and parents called into school.

Our headmaster was given an OBE. He was very very proactive. You do need to hope the school has management who will go above and beyond, but they do act if the head is good enough.

Hankunamatata · 01/10/2021 22:07

Complaint to school and bus company. Theres not much bus driver can do much as they would be crucified for putting kids off the bus.

SunShinesBrightly · 01/10/2021 22:08

@BakingOfTheFoodCats

I doubt the school would do anything tbh as it’s outside of school premises and they can’t really control every single child after they’ve left school.
Definitely not true. School pastoral teams and SLT take complaints from members of the public seriously.
Iggly · 01/10/2021 22:09

Complain to the school 100%. I’ve done it before on a local train and had a lot of teens being appalling!

BakingOfTheFoodCats · 01/10/2021 22:11

There’s 1400+ children in my local secondary school how exactly would they identify who the kids are? I’m surprised they would do anything I should have reported the time they were throwing fireworks at each other in the middle of the street but thought it would be impossible to identify who the children were.

Hulkynothunky · 01/10/2021 22:11

@Dreamstate

Oh well this is a glimpsw of what your child will be like, get used to it! And before you say they won't be im sure the parents of all those kids say the same.
Don't tar all teenagers with the same brush

OP - the school will take it seriously, please report it. The bus driver can't do much whilst driving

Plotato · 01/10/2021 22:12

@BakingOfTheFoodCats

I doubt the school would do anything tbh as it’s outside of school premises and they can’t really control every single child after they’ve left school.
Completely disagree with this. I'm a teacher and we would absolutely deal with it. Do speak to the school. I'm sorry you had such a horrible experience.
slashlover · 01/10/2021 22:12

Record them and send it to the school and the bus company. They should be kicked off for behaving like that.

Recording kids isn't the best idea. The problem is that if the underage kids were chucked off the bus and something happened to them then there would be uproar.

PeonyTime · 01/10/2021 22:13

Yep, complain to the school.
We too have staff the get on the bus if the bus company or the public complain.

BrilliantBetty · 01/10/2021 22:14

Driver is busy driving the bus.

Contact the school in question. Ask TFL or bus provider for the cctv footage of what was going on. This may be able to be given to the school or the police if it shows you being shoved etc & them fighting.

I'd speak to the neighbourhood police officer / team.

It sounds v much like where I lived until recently in London. Moved out the area because I don't want my kids to have to go to a school like this.

julieca · 01/10/2021 22:14

YANBU at one time the bus driver would put them off the bus, the only action they can really take. Now they are not allowed to because it will leave a child stranded somewhere, at-risk, etc. So what can the driver do? The bus drivers literally cant do anything.

Pinkplums · 01/10/2021 22:16

Definitely tell the school, we regularly have to deal with this sort of issue and there’s a fair chance the students have bus passes which can be removed from them or they can be banned from the busses. If the parents have to get their kid to school everyday they will be more keen to sort this out.

TheWoleb · 01/10/2021 22:16

@slashlover

It is totally legal to record kids in a public place. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the OP recording them and giving it to the school.
The only issue could be if they saw her and got even more aggressive. She just needs to be discreet.

julieca · 01/10/2021 22:17

And OP as you can see on this thread, there are parents who just think this is the way teenagers behave. No wonder some do.

Moonface123 · 01/10/2021 22:17

Sounds a comp!ere nightmare, how awful for you both.
Shame you can't get a lift with another parent and offer to give them your bus fare money, or would an earlier bus be any better ?

SunShinesBrightly · 01/10/2021 22:21

@Dreamstate

Oh well this is a glimpsw of what your child will be like, get used to it! And before you say they won't be im sure the parents of all those kids say the same.
Chances are they won’t. I teach approx. 250 different pupils every week and very few are obnoxious. We do a few bus checks throughout the term. Teachers and support staff randomly pop up ‘incognito’ on public transport on the way to and from school on various routes. It’s great fun! Anyone caught being obnoxious and rude is sanctioned. A bit like secret shopper but for school buses! As I said upthread, our school also takes any complaints seriously.
SunShinesBrightly · 01/10/2021 22:24

@julieca

And OP as you can see on this thread, there are parents who just think this is the way teenagers behave. No wonder some do.
Exactly this. This is NOT how ALL teenagers behave.
MissMaple82 · 01/10/2021 22:24

Just a regular school bus by the sounds of it! Could just get a later or earlier bus. Problem solved.

SunShinesBrightly · 01/10/2021 22:28

@BakingOfTheFoodCats

There’s 1400+ children in my local secondary school how exactly would they identify who the kids are? I’m surprised they would do anything I should have reported the time they were throwing fireworks at each other in the middle of the street but thought it would be impossible to identify who the children were.
Schools know which pupils get certain buses to and from school. You only need to ask one pupil and you’ll often get the whole story. Names, times, what was said, what happened etc... Failing all that, buses have CCTV and bus companies will show it to pastoral teams who identify pupils.
Snoken · 01/10/2021 22:32

@MissMaple82

Just a regular school bus by the sounds of it! Could just get a later or earlier bus. Problem solved.
Well that doesn't actually solve anything. These kids needs to be told off for their behaviour, both by school and especially their parents. Anti-social behaviour is not OK, even if you are a teenager.
Lightswitch123 · 01/10/2021 22:33

@ladygracie

Contact the school and they are likely to deal with it. When I was at school the school used to regularly call the students who got the public bus into the hall for a bollocking about their behaviour. They represent the school if they are in uniform.
This is a very good idea. Also alert bus company.
Lightswitch123 · 01/10/2021 22:35

The kids sound absolutely awful and that behaviour is completely unacceptable

Sciurus83 · 01/10/2021 22:36

Blimey bus drivers are getting it hard today, they've got to solve antisocial behaviour in the youth and save women from being abducted. They should get a pay rise that seems pretty out of the original scope of the job of driving a bus.

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