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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think bus drivers should manage the behaviour of teenagers on their bus?

222 replies

user64323 · 01/10/2021 21:34

I get the bus to and from school with my reception age child. I am really struggling with how to cope with the awful behaviour of teenagers from the school next door to my son's. For the record, this is a public bus, and not a school bus.

Today as usual there were no empty double seats, and my son was wobbly trying to hold on to the bar so I asked a teenage girl if she could please move her leg off the seat next to her so he could sit down. She moved it slightly but refused to move her knee off it, as she was talking to her friends in the seats behind. She then went on and on about how she was going to fucking batter the stupid fucking bitch etc on and on and on. A girl on the other side of the aisle kept kicking the back of my leg. As soon as a seat became available further up I moved my son into it to try and get away from the swearing. Unfortunately this was right next to a group of younger teens about age 13 who were very roughly play fighting, swiping each others legs, smacking each other over the head, hitting with bags, kicking etc eventually when one was grabbing another in the aisle by the ankles trying to knock him backwards I asked them to please stop, because if he falls back he is going to land on my son. They stopped for maybe a minute and then just carried on.

Then one boy huffed very loudly behind me, apparently because his stop was approaching. Then he did the same to the people in front and started swearing about needing to get off. I told him to try saying excuse me, and people might move for him. A few more pushed passed me. Then approaching our stop a boy probably about 16 or 17 and 6ft tall shoved me out the way very roughly by my shoulder followed by 'scuse' and nearly knocked me off my feet, I confronted him and told him I was also getting off at this stop and if he'd said excuse me I could have told him and there is no need to push me. Then my son who no longer had anything to hold on to fell over into the fighting kids while the boy who shoved me was screaming 'Who the fuck are you talking to? who the fuck do you think you are! I fucking said excuse me you stupid cow' etc I left the bus very shaken up and queried the driver about the fighting kids and asked why they hadn't been asked to leave the bus, and he said there was nothing they could do about it because they have a duty of care to minors. I said, so they could do anything they want? He said yes, I ended up crying, I was just full of frustration and shock from being shoved, and now I don't think I can ever get on the bus again because they know they can do whatever they want and they saw me so upset and probably revelled in it.

What about a duty of care to other passengers? If this was a school bus service I would understand, but this is a public route. The buses on the route are every half hour so they wouldn't be left stranded if they behaved enough to be asked to leave. Surely a bus driver isn't in loco parentis? I will be getting in touch with the bus company to find out if this is right, but if it is, I don't feel safe to take the bus anymore. If adults fought or shoved they'd be done for assault, so how is this allowed?

There is a very small minority of other pupils who take this bus who hate it too, they will offer a seat or ask others to say excuse me when they shove and they look absolutely miserable, there should be a duty of care to them too.

AIBU to think that teenagers shouldn't be able to run riot on public buses, and bus drivers should have a duty of care to other passengers to keep them under control or kick them off?

OP posts:
BustopherPonsonbyJones · 02/10/2021 21:20

@Ukholidaysaregreat

Bus drivers are trained to drive your bus safely - not manage the passengers. Conductors used to check tickets and manage passengers but private bus companies won't pay to have conductors on any more. I think in this case the school should cover a member of staff to ride on the bus. Maybe ring the school and tell them what it's like on the bus!!
‘Thank you for telling us but it is now 4:00 and we finish at 3:30. We are too busy marking and prepping lessons to sit on buses to supervise children who are no longer under our care, especially as there will be no money provided for us to do this extra supervision. Perhaps you could call the police and ask them to do the job they are paid to do?’

School staff can’t keep covering for all the problems in society and we aren’t helping by trying to do so. Covid has pushed teachers to breaking point.

Djifunrsn · 02/10/2021 21:29

I mean the driver can hardly drive with his butt cheeks whilst dealing with these teenagers.

If you want to do something, inform the school and also the bus company who might have CCTV. I don't think you will get anywhere because our society has gone to the dogs.

Maryjane3227 · 02/10/2021 21:29

The driver is pretty powerless, other than he or she can stop the bus and refuse to move, and call the police (who won't want to be called out).. I'd imagine if a driver does this too often, so many complaints about late service and backlog of passengers waiting would mean the driver would be told not to do so again by his/her bosses.
There's no one person who is likely to win hyped up teenage hearts and minds by standing up to them in a public showdown. The fact it is so public means these kids will probably act out and behave worse than they would in other situations. Why would a driver do this?
Big groups of teens can be utter shits. We all know that.
Ring the school, complain. Or possibly ring the bus company to see if they have cctv. But I don't think you can expect the driver to do anything.

HemanOrSheRa · 02/10/2021 21:32

@LukeEvansWife

I always feel sorry for the bus drivers on the school time buses - they always look like they are losing the will to live
DP is a bus driver, he HATES the school time buses. He always has a grumble when he sees from his rota that he will be at certain stops at certain times because he knows it will be mayhem.
PissedOffNeighbour22 · 02/10/2021 21:39

You do realise the most they can do is call the police and then you'll be stuck on the bus for longer with the little shits as the bus isn't allowed to move once the police are called?
That would obviously be for far worse behaviour than you've mentioned here.

They're not allowed to kick them off the bus. Imagine if something happened to a kid who'd been thrown off a bus on their way home - there'd be uproar.

Do you also understand how little bus drivers are paid? How ridiculous their working hours are? How frequently they're expected to break the driving time rules/laws, how often they miss their breaks etc etc.

My dad recently retired early from bus driving because of the behaviour of passengers. He frequently had abuse hurled at him, got spat at, attempted thefts of the money, people refusing to pay .... the list goes on.

He was one of the drivers that would go and try to sort that shitty behaviour out, but kids these days are horrendous and he has several driver friends who've had knives pulled on them. We live in a small town, not somewhere knife carrying kids are expected to be.

So if you care so much about it, maybe apply for one of the many minimum wage bus driving jobs that are vacant at the moment.
As soon as you had a go at any of those kids I can guarantee they'd report you immediately and you'd probably end up sacked.

Your best bet is complaining to the school about the behaviour. I doubt much will come of it though. The bus I had to travel on to work had the worst behaved kids I've ever come across - how it's become standard behaviour god only knows. But it's down to the parents to deal with, not a bus driver.

Notmoresugar · 02/10/2021 21:50

What an awful situation.
Unfortunately I don't think the bus driver could do a lot these days and he would be massively out-numbered in terms of 'crowd confidence/safety in numbers.'
I would get onto the school and try to speak to the headmaster or at least somebody in a senior position.

LukeEvansWife · 02/10/2021 22:49

DP is a bus driver, he HATES the school time buses. He always has a grumble when he sees from his rota that he will be at certain stops at certain times because he knows it will be mayhem.

Please tell him he has my sympathy. When I get on I try to smile supportively at them - it's shit!

PreparationPreparationPrep · 02/10/2021 22:56

Lots of people saying bus drivers are paid very little. As If they are on minimum wage. I know a couple of London bus drivers and they are on about 36K. Not sure about outside London.

LukeEvansWife · 02/10/2021 22:57

@PreparationPreparationPrep

Lots of people saying bus drivers are paid very little. As If they are on minimum wage. I know a couple of London bus drivers and they are on about 36K. Not sure about outside London.
Doesn't mean they should have to deal with badly behaved teens though.
bonbonours · 02/10/2021 22:58

As above, the bus driver cannot really do anything, especially when they are working alone. Even if they wanted to stop the bus and demand that the troublemakers get off, I can't see most people wanting to try arguing with a group of 16/17 year old boys. If they are that obnoxious the driver would risk getting beaten up! Realistically they have no more authority over the teenagers than you or any other random adult on the bus.

The behaviour is unacceptable but it would be more sensible to expect the school to do something about it.

PreparationPreparationPrep · 02/10/2021 22:59

Doesn't mean they should have to deal with badly behaved teens though.

Hmmsorry can you point me to where I said that in any of my posts - or are you just making it up?

Stompythedinosaur · 02/10/2021 23:02

Not the driver's responsibility but my experience is that the school will speak to dc if it is reported to them.

LukeEvansWife · 02/10/2021 23:17

@PreparationPreparationPrep

Doesn't mean they should have to deal with badly behaved teens though.

Hmmsorry can you point me to where I said that in any of my posts - or are you just making it up?

Well people are sympathising with bus drivers but then you had to explain how much they earn. Like that makes a difference to whether they should have to deal with gobby teens.
PreparationPreparationPrep · 03/10/2021 00:02

Not at all - yes I also sympathised - with the OP too, people quoted the low pay and I pointed out not all of them are low paid. Doesn't mean I stopped sympathising. My cousins are bus drivers so I have a pretty good idea what they go through. But they are still paid quite well. I didn't read pp as because they are not Paid well they shouldn't have to put up with it. Maybe you did? I think regardless of pay they shouldn't have to put up with it.

LukeEvansWife · 03/10/2021 00:08

Ah I think there were crossed wires!

Deedoubleyou · 03/10/2021 08:34

@OldieWordly

Why don't those of you who have said the OP is being unreasonable explain why?

OP I feel for you. As another person has said you should contact the school as well as the bus company.

YADNBU for wanting and expecting civility and safety on the buses.

I was able to avoid

She is bu because although it sounds like an absolute hellscape, the driver is paid only to drive the bus, not to discipline other people's children.

Report to the school who should then report to parents, but don't blame the bus driver who is only trying to do his job getting everyone from A to B and is probably also intimated by a large number of unruly teenagers.

Pottedpalm · 03/10/2021 08:56

@Ukholidaysaregreat

Bus drivers are trained to drive your bus safely - not manage the passengers. Conductors used to check tickets and manage passengers but private bus companies won't pay to have conductors on any more. I think in this case the school should cover a member of staff to ride on the bus. Maybe ring the school and tell them what it's like on the bus!!
Yep, can see the teachers queuing up for that! Straight out of class onto a bus full of feral teenagers..
110APiccadilly · 03/10/2021 08:59

YANBU to be upset/ angry about that behaviour. However, I don't think you can ask the driver to intervene - he's there to drive the bus, not police it. The school should do something, but i don't know whether they would.

PlonkyWillyWonky · 03/10/2021 09:01

You raise some really good points @BustopherPonsonbyJones, you should start a thread about it 👍
Got me thinking, where does it stop being the bus companies responsibility to keep people safe and becomes the schools
🤔

Confiscatedpopit · 03/10/2021 09:32

This country is pathetic. It’s stuff like this that is making it a very unpleasant place to live and we are all so weak about it.
If the children want to behave like that then they are ‘mature’ enough to handle being booted off and made to walk. The bus should stop and they should be thrown off the bus. If they won’t get off then police should be involved. Can guarantee their behaviour would improve the next time they get on. A few buses do this and word would soon get around.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 03/10/2021 09:40

@Confiscatedpopit

This country is pathetic. It’s stuff like this that is making it a very unpleasant place to live and we are all so weak about it. If the children want to behave like that then they are ‘mature’ enough to handle being booted off and made to walk. The bus should stop and they should be thrown off the bus. If they won’t get off then police should be involved. Can guarantee their behaviour would improve the next time they get on. A few buses do this and word would soon get around.
Why should bus drivers put themselves at risk? Would you volunteer to throw them off the bus yourself? If no then why do you expect others to.
LukeEvansWife · 03/10/2021 09:48

@Confiscatedpopit

This country is pathetic. It’s stuff like this that is making it a very unpleasant place to live and we are all so weak about it. If the children want to behave like that then they are ‘mature’ enough to handle being booted off and made to walk. The bus should stop and they should be thrown off the bus. If they won’t get off then police should be involved. Can guarantee their behaviour would improve the next time they get on. A few buses do this and word would soon get around.
So presumably it would be the bus driver who has to chuck them off. Assuming he/she was prepared to (one adult against a bus full of feral teens), cue parents whining to local paper
LukeEvansWife · 03/10/2021 09:53

And actually of course their behaviour won't improve just from being thrown off the bus.

Someone in charge of a bus should not be called upon to deal with the passengers as well. The ones to deal with these feral teens are either the school or the parents.

Rosebel · 03/10/2021 10:04

Absolutely complain to the school. They will talk to the students and possibly identify them and implement consequences.
My daughter's school will tell students off as while in uniform they represent the school.
Bus driver can't really do much. He'll just get verbally and possibly physically abused if he tries to intervene. Hes a bus driver not a baby sitter.

mouse70 · 03/10/2021 10:14

What exactly would you expect the lone bus driver to do? Agree it is a dreadful and distressing situation for other passengers. You should report to the schools. It is a shame that the bus companies can not ban those pupils from identified schools but that would penalise students who are behaved. If it would be possible to identify those idiots on camera send evidence to parents to show how their children act would they take any action?

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