To think bus drivers should manage the behaviour of teenagers on their bus?

[user64323]

I get the bus to and from school with my reception age child. I am really struggling with how to cope with the awful behaviour of teenagers from the school next door to my son's. For the record, this is a public bus, and not a school bus.

Today as usual there were no empty double seats, and my son was wobbly trying to hold on to the bar so I asked a teenage girl if she could please move her leg off the seat next to her so he could sit down. She moved it slightly but refused to move her knee off it, as she was talking to her friends in the seats behind. She then went on and on about how she was going to fucking batter the stupid fucking bitch etc on and on and on. A girl on the other side of the aisle kept kicking the back of my leg. As soon as a seat became available further up I moved my son into it to try and get away from the swearing. Unfortunately this was right next to a group of younger teens about age 13 who were very roughly play fighting, swiping each others legs, smacking each other over the head, hitting with bags, kicking etc eventually when one was grabbing another in the aisle by the ankles trying to knock him backwards I asked them to please stop, because if he falls back he is going to land on my son. They stopped for maybe a minute and then just carried on.

Then one boy huffed very loudly behind me, apparently because his stop was approaching. Then he did the same to the people in front and started swearing about needing to get off. I told him to try saying excuse me, and people might move for him. A few more pushed passed me. Then approaching our stop a boy probably about 16 or 17 and 6ft tall shoved me out the way very roughly by my shoulder followed by 'scuse' and nearly knocked me off my feet, I confronted him and told him I was also getting off at this stop and if he'd said excuse me I could have told him and there is no need to push me. Then my son who no longer had anything to hold on to fell over into the fighting kids while the boy who shoved me was screaming 'Who the fuck are you talking to? who the fuck do you think you are! I fucking said excuse me you stupid cow' etc I left the bus very shaken up and queried the driver about the fighting kids and asked why they hadn't been asked to leave the bus, and he said there was nothing they could do about it because they have a duty of care to minors. I said, so they could do anything they want? He said yes, I ended up crying, I was just full of frustration and shock from being shoved, and now I don't think I can ever get on the bus again because they know they can do whatever they want and they saw me so upset and probably revelled in it.

What about a duty of care to other passengers? If this was a school bus service I would understand, but this is a public route. The buses on the route are every half hour so they wouldn't be left stranded if they behaved enough to be asked to leave. Surely a bus driver isn't in loco parentis? I will be getting in touch with the bus company to find out if this is right, but if it is, I don't feel safe to take the bus anymore. If adults fought or shoved they'd be done for assault, so how is this allowed?

There is a very small minority of other pupils who take this bus who hate it too, they will offer a seat or ask others to say excuse me when they shove and they look absolutely miserable, there should be a duty of care to them too.

AIBU to think that teenagers shouldn't be able to run riot on public buses, and bus drivers should have a duty of care to other passengers to keep them under control or kick them off?

@HoppingPavlova
I would not confront a group of unpredictable and rowdy teenagers who have just shown that they did not have any respect.

What you can do as an adult is not the same as when you have children with you. I remember walking with my son and a teen who was less than 10 metres ahead of me cut the lock of my bike and made off with it. I screamed and almost ran after him but had to restrain myself as my child was with me. We were both in shock as it was so quick and right in front of us.

OP - Take a different route and shame them through the adults they see every day - like their teachers and mentors.. I also believe they would not behave like that if their parents or parents friends were in earshot.

Often it's one or two who are excessively loud and the majority of the group are just hanging in the same circle but not actually making any trouble.

He's a bus driver not a nanny. And he's right, if he kicked them off and something happened he'd get in trouble. It's shit but keep your head down next time. How old is your son? I'd sit him in your lap

Unfortunately if a bus driver refused to carry a misbehaving child and kicked them off, the parent would make a big fuss, go to the local press, claim that the child had been put at risk, demand the bus driver never do the service again etc.

So you can understand a reluctance to intervene.

Oh do give up! You clearly haven’t had exposure to behaviour this extreme.

Excuse me, I have. A few decades of it actually. Lots of of drunk/drugged dickheads who have managed to injure themselves with drunk/drugged dickhead friends egging each other on. Throw in gangs, bikies, weapons and having to control the situation and area so other patients are not freaked out until security and/or police arrive. It’s doable. Even the worst behaved groups of teens are a doddle by comparison and yes, I have told teens off many times when I’ve had younger kids with me, it’s not a barrier. In fact, my younger ones just always assumed that’s what people do as normal but you have to know how to handle it and pick your battles. Teens swearing in front of kids is neither here nor there for instance, your kid won’t explode if they hear it. The bit mine really hated was when they were teens and I’d tell other teens off while they were with me.

Right it’s not the bus driver they will treat him like they treated you. Get onto the school and do not be fobbed off threaten police it’s disgusting behaviour!

YABU. They are employed to drive buses, not to enforce acceptable behaviour on passengers except when it conflicts with the employer's policies.

Report to the school.
Every school I know would take this very seriously and take action. Not only do they want their pupils to behave like decent citizens, but that kind of behaviour in the school's uniform, in public, carries huge reputational risk for the school, which will also concern them.

It’s anti-social behaviour, therefore call the police who can inform their parents and/or press charges. Then schools can focus on teaching maths, English and geography and bus drivers can drive the bus.

Some parents need reminding they have parental responsibility.

"It’s anti-social behaviour, therefore call the police who can inform their parents and/or press charges"

No doubt they will be there in no time. Not like they are massively understaffed and hard to get out for burglaries thefts criminal damage never mind anti social behaviour from some teenagers who likely would only get a few stern words

Definitely report to the school. If they are in school uniform and travelling to school the school will want to know and should deal with it. It’s completely unacceptable.

You shouldn't have to put up with this, but the driver is powerless. He's probably afraid for his own safety if he confronts the yobs.

Contact the school. If possible, take a covert video to send them, so they can identify the individuals involved.

I presume you’ve reported them to the school? I would expect the school to deal with this not a poor bus driver! Any chance you can travel slightly earlier to avoid?

What do you suggest the driver does? If it is a standard bus not a school one, he has a responsibility to drive the bus safely and on time. Is he supposed to park up every time one of the passengers is being a cunt?

He certainly isn't there to ensure your child doesn't see or hear anything unsuitable.

I get a non-school bus with lots of teens on it too
But that is public transport for you - sometimes it's teens, sometimes it's loud toddlers

I would take it up with the school; with descriptions. of the offenders.

Definitely not the bus driver’s responsibility because he or she has to focus on driving. However, schools should monitor this so complain to the school. Also, in other countries you can get a ban on public transport for poor behaviour. That is what these kids needs/ you can’t behave, you walk. If they were at a private school
And on a private school bus they would get banned for poor attitude/behaviour.

But why is it the school’s job to police the children before and after school? When does their job end? Schools need to return to their key role which is academic teaching - not providing counselling, free meals and taking on the jobs of the police and social services. Plenty of outrage about asking the bus drivers to interfere but no such problems asking schools. We aren’t the cure for all of societal ills.

@BustopherPonsonbyJones

But why is it the school’s job to police the children before and after school? When does their job end? Schools need to return to their key role which is academic teaching - not providing counselling, free meals and taking on the jobs of the police and social services. Plenty of outrage about asking the bus drivers to interfere but no such problems asking schools. We aren’t the cure for all of societal ills.

No but a bus driver is just trying to get people to places on time - are you saying they should take responsibility? Obviously parents should actually do it but they aren't there either

Definitely complain to the school. Most of them take it seriously. I always complain about bad behaviour- schools don't like their reputation being trashed.

I always feel sorry for the bus drivers on the school time buses - they always look like they are losing the will to live

Awful behaviour and so sorry this happened to you Op but this is not the responsibility of the driver, They are driving the bus and keeping us safe on the road. your anger should be directed at the young people, their parents who have failed to bring up respectful citizens and the authorities who got rid of conductors to support drivers and t
he public.

The local school bus service used to have 666 as its number...the poor drivers had a terrible time and were more scared of the girls than boys .

If you were a bus driver op, what would you do?

I'm sorry this happend @user64323 I really hope it was a one off for you. I have to get a bus home with my young children as well. There is lots of shouting swearing and a bit of roughness. My children have been hurt (nor badly) from teenagers knocking into them where they are messing about etc. I don't think they do it on purpose I think they are just a bit hyper after school .

Alot of people won't agree with me. But try your best to ignore them . Just semi switch off. Swearing the huffing puffing ect is just not worth your time. If it does carry on like that though is there another route you could try ?

Bus drivers are trained to drive your bus safely - not manage the passengers. Conductors used to check tickets and manage passengers but private bus companies won't pay to have conductors on any more. I think in this case the school should cover a member of staff to ride on the bus. Maybe ring the school and tell them what it's like on the bus!!

@walksen

"It’s anti-social behaviour, therefore call the police who can inform their parents and/or press charges"

No doubt they will be there in no time. Not like they are massively understaffed and hard to get out for burglaries thefts criminal damage never mind anti social behaviour from some teenagers who likely would only get a few stern words

Do you reckon they'd turn out faster if you said the kids had tied ribbons to the Stop buttons?