To think I need to stop seeing him (red flags in bed)?

[Maria53]

Ive been seeing a guy for a few weeks and we recently slept together.

Twice during sex his mood has changed quite rapidly. The first time I moved out of a position because we'd been at a long, long time and I needed a break (and he confronted me about 'why would you do that when I'm just about to cum?'). Has facial expression changed to one of almost anger. I also had no idea he was close.

The second time, I asked him to move into a position which we'd really enjoyed previously & he refused. He said it had been a 'fluke' that he had managed it before due to the odd angle and gave me an ultimatum of what we could do instead. He then pressed me to decide quickly. I was so taken aback I just stared at him unmoving and he actually left the room for a few minutes. Afterwards he apologised & we went back to it without issues later but it is in my mind now.

I would say that most of our time in and out of bed is some of the best times I've had. But that other small percentage of the time borders on scary due to the sudden mood change. AIBU?

Run

Run far. Run fast.

Say bye bye to this man. Not ok on any level to treat you like that.

Don't ignore your instinct.

It's really crap as things had been going so well.

The sex itself is outstanding but I'm not willing to be treated like this. I explained I feel vulnerable in bed and felt attacked. He had already apologised but not sure it's enough tbh.

That's really scary. I wouldn't see him again.

Run

Yep that's frightening.

Red flags are there for a reason, trust them

Don't see him again. He genuinely sounds dangerous. Either way he's absolutely not kind and sharing in bed - don't waste your time on that

Frightens me just reading it. Not good. It's early days, he should be on his very best behaviour....imagine a year on once he's got his feet under the table.

Goodness, run as fast as you can

Sounds mad

That way ⏯️⏯️⏯️⏯️⏯️⏯️⏯️

Urgh, run away.

That second scenario in particular, with that level of 'negotiation' in the middle of sex, is very weird and would freak me out tbh.

Yup, don't ignore it, especially if he won't talk about it. End it.

Absolutely disgusting entitled behaviour from him when you are feeling vulnerable and exposed.
Run run as fast as you can the hills are that way >>>>>>

@YukoandHiro it was pretty shocking. He said he doesn't usually have disagreements in bed but I find that hard to believe if this is his attitude.

I've only just started dating again and promised myself I wouldn't ignore red flags. I really liked him too.

Disinvest pronto!

I would listen to your instincts.

Coercive controlling. Don't just run get in the bloody car. Block and move on.

FFS Sex is supposed to be enjoyable with someone you trust that respects you.

Okay
Erm...
That is a big fat nope in my book.

My H ONCE grabbed my ankles and positioned me and held me where e wanted me.

Never did it again because I kicked him in the face.

I am not a fucking wheelbarrow you own.

OP the worst abusers tend to be the most charming. Please listen to your instincts. You feel uncomfortable for a reason. Don't let him talk you round. This week of all weeks, just remember to put yourself and your safety and comfort above all other things. To behave like this at any time is awful but so early into a relationship suggests danger lies very close below the surface.

You've only know him a few weeks -you don't know him at all apart from the fact he is an abuser-bloody hell!

it was pretty shocking. He said he doesn't usually have disagreements in bed but I find that hard to believe if this is his attitude.

No one should be having 'disagreements' in bed - if one person isn't enjoying what is going on, then it should stop, that's it.

And if this is just after a few times of having sex...

Listen to your gut. Please!