Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say there are some decent men

717 replies

Poppyscone · 30/09/2021 15:31

I know there are many threads about how shit men are. It may be a shit partner not helping, abused by a stranger, sexism etc etc etc.

But to say some men are decent. My DH said this morning re the policemen just sentenced “we men are mostly basically shit aren’t we”
I told him he was one of the good ones and the good ones need to carry on trying to challenging these men who basically hate women
My DH had challenged many men over their behaviour towards women including dropping friendships.

I have epilepsy and DH had always had my back and supported me. Done more then his fare share with kids including most night feeds as well as working full time which I can do. Letting me sleep and recover after a seizure and taking charge without complaining.

He always make me feel good about myself, never pesters for sex and is a good dad.

Yep sure he had his faults he is a bit disorganised and he seems to think dirty clothes belong on the bedroom floor (but does pick them up when asked)
He snores like a machine gun and I have to wear earplug but on the whole he is a decent bloke and I am sure there are many more out there. I would just like to here about them

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
PurpleDaisies · 03/10/2021 21:44

@Tevion28

I would do everything in my power to the b
The bastard with big knife? The one who is saying he will stab you if you don’t hand over your stuff?
Tevion28 · 03/10/2021 21:46

Carry a spray

PurpleDaisies · 03/10/2021 21:47

@Tevion28

Carry a spray
Against a big guy with a knife? Really,
Tevion28 · 03/10/2021 21:48

An alarm and a spray

PurpleDaisies · 03/10/2021 21:48

@Tevion28

An alarm and a spray
Against a guy with a knife? What good’s an alarm if nobody else is around?
youvegottenminuteslynn · 03/10/2021 21:49

@Tevion28

I would do everything in my power to the b
You'd do everything in your power to overpower someone likely to be physically stronger than you, dangerous and armed? Everyone would do their best, in the moment, to protect themselves - which may mean fight / flight / freeze. You don't know which you'd do until it happens.

Do you not think that society tackling the root cause of that behaviour might be more useful than you burying your head in the sand and making out (quite offensively tbh) that you're not that worried because YOU would fight hard enough to not be a victim?

That isn't how it works. You don't know how you'd react. You don't know which women you know have been victims of male violence and never told anyone or never told you.

Nobody is saying ALL men are bad, they're saying there are way too many who are bad, way too many who are complicit, way too many who are complacent and way too many who are 'neutral'.

Tevion28 · 03/10/2021 21:50

People will hear the loudest alarm.you can find enough to maybe scare him away.

minou123 · 03/10/2021 21:50

@Tevion28

People will hear the loudest alarm.you can find enough to maybe scare him away.
You're taking the piss now
PurpleDaisies · 03/10/2021 21:50

@Tevion28

People will hear the loudest alarm.you can find enough to maybe scare him away.
Or you set of the alarm and he stabs you.
SkinnyMirror · 03/10/2021 21:51

@Tevion28

I'm only saying you can't go around thinking about this all of the time it will consume you.
Nobody is saying they think about it all the time but to deny there is a threat is pretty ridiculous.

Do you genuinely believe that women who have been attacked or killed by men just didn't do a good enough job of standing up for themselves?

Tevion28 · 03/10/2021 21:51

I doubt it will ever be tackled by society its up to us to protect ourselves.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 03/10/2021 21:51

@Tevion28

People will hear the loudest alarm.you can find enough to maybe scare him away.
To 'maybe'. That's good enough for you? Arm yourself with an alarm and 'maybe' it will be ok?

Ffs. Why don't you want girls and women to aim higher than that?!

SkinnyMirror · 03/10/2021 21:52

@Tevion28

People will hear the loudest alarm.you can find enough to maybe scare him away.
Yeah okay 🙄

Unbelievable..... you can't honestly be real.

Tevion28 · 03/10/2021 21:53

So all we can do is take precautions

youvegottenminuteslynn · 03/10/2021 21:53

@Tevion28

I doubt it will ever be tackled by society its up to us to protect ourselves.
Goodness, I wish someone had told me all I needed to do was protect myself...

You're embarrassing yourself.

You literally have a thread called 'what is wrong with men' and have the audacity to imply on this thread that women shouldn't be preoccupied with feeling unsafe.

Have a word with yourself.

Eleganz · 03/10/2021 21:53

@Tevion28

I doubt it will ever be tackled by society its up to us to protect ourselves.
How do we protect ourselves against police officers? Another one been charged with rape just now. Same unit as Wayne Couzens.
PurpleDaisies · 03/10/2021 21:53

@Tevion28

I doubt it will ever be tackled by society its up to us to protect ourselves.
How? Protect ourselves how?

Carry a knife? Carry a gun? Carry a loud alarm that people will here even if they’re not around?

FOJN · 03/10/2021 21:53

I don't know the answers I'm afraid but I don't want to spend my life thinking all men are potential murderers and rapists etc how miserable is that.

Being murdered or raped is more than miserable.

In the UK 98 - 99% (depends on the year) of sexual offences are committed by men, 93% of murders are committed by men. How do you propose we tell these men apart from those who aren't murderers or sexual predators? Until someone can give me a fail safe way of distinguishing between the two groups I'll continue to think ANY (NOT ALL) man could be a threat and take necessary precaution to protect myself.

I have no intention of giving any man the benefit of the doubt if he makes me feel uncomfortable and I don't care if that hurts their feelings.

Tevion28 · 03/10/2021 21:54

youvegottenminuteslynn so what are you suggesting

youvegottenminuteslynn · 03/10/2021 21:54

@Tevion28

So all we can do is take precautions
No. We can take precautions AND fight for support from men, support from the authorities, support from the justice system.

Before we had the vote, would you really have said to women who wanted it 'well we aren't going to get it so all we can do is marry well.'

Raise your standards.

SkinnyMirror · 03/10/2021 21:54

@Tevion28

I doubt it will ever be tackled by society its up to us to protect ourselves.
Victim blaming bullshit.

My mums boyfriend killed her in her sleep. How the fuck was she supposed to defend herself?

I'd love to know your thoughts on that because all this time I've blamed him but maybe i should be questioning why she didn't do more to protect herself?? 🤷🏼‍♀️

youvegottenminuteslynn · 03/10/2021 21:57

I'm so sorry about your mum @SkinnyMirror I can't imagine what thoughtless comments like that from that poster (who I can only assume doesn't actually understand what they're talking about / has no first hand experience) to you. Please know that any right thinking person stands with you, not fools like them Thanks

FOJN · 03/10/2021 21:58

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10055205/Met-Police-officer-charged-rape.html

FFS another Met police officer. Is it ever going to end.

SkinnyMirror · 03/10/2021 22:02

@youvegottenminuteslynn

I'm so sorry about your mum *@SkinnyMirror* I can't imagine what thoughtless comments like that from that poster (who I can only assume doesn't actually understand what they're talking about / has no first hand experience) to you. Please know that any right thinking person stands with you, not fools like them Thanks
Thank you.

It's incredulous that anyone genuinely believes some of the things I see written about male violence against women.

Unfortunately my mums story isn't rare or uncommon. While it is more likely that a woman will be attacked or killed by a man she knows rather than a stranger, it all stems from the same issue - misogyny. We need to tackle the small things if we have any chance at the bigger issues.

Tevion28 · 03/10/2021 22:04

I was talking about attacks carried out on people who are out walking etc not asleep none of what I've said is in reference to skinnymirror and her moms tragic death.

Swipe left for the next trending thread