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to think that the school nurse shouldn't have sent me this letter...

394 replies

emkana · 06/12/2007 21:33

which has a programme in it how to deal with dd2's "bedwetting" WTF? She doesn't do "bedwetting", she's only 4.4 and still in pull-ups, which I thought was widely accepted as quite normal?

OP posts:

Alambil · 06/12/2007 21:35

Seeing as doctors don't refer til age 7 - why is she going on about it?!


mazzystar · 06/12/2007 21:35

I absolutely agree with you


coldtits · 06/12/2007 21:36

How does the school nurse know your dd bedwets anyway? Why are they asking a four year old girl questions like that?


onepieceoflollipop · 06/12/2007 21:37

I wouldn't be happy with that either. My dd is 4 in January and still in pull-ups. There are threads that have lots of posts on, around this very subject. Your dd and mine are normal. It is old fashioned advice - imo - that suggests they should be dry at night. It varies massively at what age this happens.



Bocohohoho · 06/12/2007 21:38

Well i do agree with you that it's normal and not a problem - but was it mentioned just sent as a helpful thing to give you a few tips maybe? How did she know that dd wears pull ups?


coldtits · 06/12/2007 21:40

Ds1 is still in pull ups at night and he is 4.8.

It is old fashioned - a colleague of mine told me all her children were potty trained at 2 years old - I asked her how? She replied "I used to sit them on the potty, tell them to weewee and slap them if the did a dirty on the floor!"


orangehead · 06/12/2007 21:42

Was this letter personally to you, or one that was sent out to all. Your dd sounds normal, my ds2 is age 4.7 and he still wetting in day never mind at night


emkana · 06/12/2007 21:43

There was a school health questionnaire a few weeks ago - it said "does your child have a problem with bedwetting" and I put "no because she still wears pull-ups" (I should have just put no shouldn't I? Silly me)

Maybe they are just trying to be helpful but it is quite a rigorous programme, too much for such a young child IMO, and it says you should contact them again when they are 5. I thought there wouldn't be a problem until she's 7? It says in the programme "if you wet the bed help an adult to change the sheets". I could see how well that would go down with dd2 at 3 am...

OP posts:

mistletoemiggins · 06/12/2007 21:45

my DS is 5.5 and still in pull-ups - no chance of getting him out of them cos they are sodden every morning
I have been advised nothing will be done for another year - frustrating though as sometimes feel like a failure as I dont know anyone else whose child is still wet at night at his age

who should I ask?


coldtits · 06/12/2007 21:45

Unless she is boarding there, it doesn't really matter how rigorous their program is, does it? because it is absolutely none of their business!


perpetualworrier · 06/12/2007 21:47

My DS 2 4.6 is still in a sodden pull up every morning. I'm just glad he's finally ( touch wood) stopped pooing his pants during the day and I've no intention of trying to take the pull up off until he says he wants to. I'm too scared of regression re the pooing, which is what happened last time I tried.

Can't believe bed wetting is any of the school nurse's business, unless you ask for help. How does she know about it?


nooka · 06/12/2007 21:47

Do you think it is a standard letter to all parents? Why was the school nurse seeing your dd anyway - was it the whole class check thing or for a specific reason? Otherwise I guess maybe your dd said something to her maybe. Pull ups at four seems a bit old to me, but as others have said enuresis isn't considered an issue for under fives anyway so if it's not just standard text for parents in general then it does seem a bit previous.


emkana · 06/12/2007 21:48

see post below

OP posts:

moondog · 06/12/2007 21:49

Oh Emkana,you take offence so easily!
Is it a German thing!?
Poor woman was probably trying to help.
If it carried on and no suggestions were made,you might well come on MN talking about 'lack of professional support.'

I think a 4/5 year old in pullups is of concern.


coldtits · 06/12/2007 21:50

Roughly half the 4 year olds I know wear pull ups at night, mD


hatwoman · 06/12/2007 21:51

waves at mistletoemiggins - dd is 5.5 and still in pull-ups - her's are also sodden very morning. she has had a dry one probably twice in her entire life. personally I think this is no different to the countless kids who get taken to do a wee on the loo at midnight when they're half asleep. I also think that as long as you can pull-ups that fit them in supermarket you're well within the realms of "normal" (whatever that is...). but yes, like you I am beginning to wonder if we should "do" something...but lord knows what. so we just carry on and hope for a magical morning with a dry pull-up. I'm sure it'll happen one day.


emkana · 06/12/2007 21:51

see this is where the limitations of the internet come in, mixed in with your perceptions of certain nationalities. I'm not really offended, just surprised because I genuinely thought that it was widely accepted that at least up to the age of 5 it is quite quite normal for children to not be dry at night.

OP posts:

catsmother · 06/12/2007 21:52

My daughter is 4.2 and very rarely is she dry in the morning, hence pyjama pants. I'd started to get a bit concerned about it (I think my son was dry day & night more or less simultaneously) but common sense tells you that there isn't much you can do to prevent sleep-weeing apart from ensuring they use the loo last thing before bed.

I then started reading up and apparently there is some sort of hormone required before the body goes through the night dry. Quite what this is I don't know but until the body releases this, you can't "train" a child at night.


hatwoman · 06/12/2007 21:53

moondog - why do you think it's of concern? as I said above supermarkets sell pull-ups for this age - it's very normal. though I reserve my right to wobble a bit about it I'd rather other parents (or school nurses) didn't...


moondog · 06/12/2007 21:54

Ah, am teasing about the German thing.
Are you talking pull ups in school or only at night?
I thoguht you meant she was gonig to school in pull-ups.
If at night,then more 'normal' I suppose.

Trouble with pull-ups is that they offer no incentive to child to be dry as it's easy to piss away at all hours with no repercussions.


emkana · 06/12/2007 21:55

only at night

and I am very glad that there are no repercussions, because changing the bed at night is not really my favourite thing

Am hopeful that one of these days it will happen, and after a week of dry pull-ups, she can wear knickers.

OP posts:

hatwoman · 06/12/2007 21:55

md - we're talking about night. and as catsmother has said the incentive thing is just not applicable. dd wees in her sleep. incentives don;t come into it.


mistletoemiggins · 06/12/2007 21:56

they do pyjama pants for boys 4-7 and then 8-15 so I guess there must be a market for them BUT I do feel isolated
just dont know what to do to get him dry - if he has no drink from 5pm (in bed around7pm) still wet in the morning!


moondog · 06/12/2007 21:57

Ok, got that.
It's dead easy to train a kid not to wee at night.
Doesn't involve hormones or rewards.
We, the adults are to blame,not the kids.


hatwoman · 06/12/2007 21:58

? md. please explain.

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