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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that the school nurse shouldn't have sent me this letter...

394 replies

emkana · 06/12/2007 21:33

which has a programme in it how to deal with dd2's "bedwetting" WTF? She doesn't do "bedwetting", she's only 4.4 and still in pull-ups, which I thought was widely accepted as quite normal?

OP posts:
yurt1 · 07/12/2007 22:47

orange juice irriates the bladder I think- I give it to ds1 when he needs to go iyswim. I also noticed that when we were giving him melatonin in orange juice he was wetting very heavily- although that could have been melatonin making himsleep more deeply.

Yes hatowman- md does this all the time But she will stoll nochalantly back in whistling serenely saying that no she just had to pop off for a few weeks and now she's happy to be back.

minorityrules · 07/12/2007 22:54

yes it could take months (not that I actually agree with the 15 mins routine)

It has taken well over a year here, dd was 11 when we started. We have stuck to it rigidly (no red,fizzy drinks and bladder training) Her last wet bed was in October, before that 2 in sept and a couple in august. We have covered pillows/mattress/duvets, 6 pillows and 3 duvets (one on bed, one in wash and one ready to go on, at the mo all in airing cupboard...YAY!!!) I wish I had persevered when she was younger, but I got sucked into the wet pull up theory.

I was a little shocked that 6 weeks was shocking. It is a process to get a kid dry and rarely happens overnight, 6 weeks is a short time, even ERIC say minimum 3 weeks of wet beds every night is when to maybe have a rest from it

yurt1 · 07/12/2007 22:59

It's a case of deciding when to tackle things though isn;t it MR? Ds1 had a problem with lights being on a few years ago. No problem during the summer, but a massive problem when we were all stumblling around in the darl when the clocks changed. We tackled it, but not right away, I needed time to decide and pre[are and think 'ok this is the night it starts'. You need to do that for any long term problem, but it might take a while to work up to it (which is fine).

minorityrules · 07/12/2007 23:07

absolutely!!

My point is I took my lead fromt he wet pull ups and as soon as they were gone we got 5/7 nights dry, then 4/7 etc. This is why I think parents can get confused by seeing a wet pull up and think a child isn't ready

My dd has mobility issues, so getting out of bed at night to pee isn't something she can do easily. We bought a commode to put by the bed which meant no walking, just transferring (she still has to shout over the monitor and I have to make a mad dash to her room to enable)

I still think pull ups are naff and pampers have a lot to answer for

If all parenting books mentioned the bladder training/drinks to avoid etc many children could be dry at night much sooner. I'd never heard of it before and I've got 4 and nannied many more

yurt1 · 07/12/2007 23:10

you're probably right. I'm lucky all 3 of mine trained in pull ups within days of being dry during the day (ds1 then started wetting at night after years of being dry, but that's a whole other issue).

I think if you have problems, keep trying, but only when you have the energy- don;t beat yourself up when you can't. Something its been very important to learn when living with a child who alwayshas some issue that could be 'worked on' (with a small army as back up and no ds2 or ds3).

LaDiDancesroundtheXmastree · 07/12/2007 23:19

Not sure about orange juice, definite no no to any caffeinated type drinks though.

minorityrules · 07/12/2007 23:26

we were told orange was ok, we had to avoid all red drinks. So no blackcurrant or cranberry juice. Orange juice and squash were allowed.

The fizzy thing really made a difference. Mine are all teens and have the occasional fizzy drink, usually at dads and she will wet the bed after having coke without fail. She has discovered sprite/7up doesnt have the same affect, don't know why

TheIceQueen · 08/12/2007 11:48

"IceQueen - No judgement, just curious: Are you saying your DS can't hold his wee for an hour?"

during the day he can - unless he's had LOADS to drink, - but at night quite often (when we had over 1 year without nappies) after one hour he would be wet!!! He's an incredibly deep sleeper so I don't know if that's got anything to do with it?

With regards to the 6 weeks seeming like a long time - and the 3 weeks minimum ERIC recommends before having a rest. Even if we lifted DS1 1hr (presuming he was dry LOL) after he went to bed - he'd still be soaked in the morning....

I hope DS3 is a dream......

Mind you I was thinking about this when I was doing my ironing at 5.30 this morning...

DS1 ONLY drinks water

DS2 drinks (go on - shoot me now) summerfruits, or apple and blackcurrant squash .

He's dry but DS1 isn't -

Why can't I have normal children

3JinglesandnoBells · 08/12/2007 15:31

Because that would be far far to easy now, wouldn't it IceQueen.....

TheIceQueen · 08/12/2007 17:30

actually you're right Jingle - it would be too easy.....and boring LOL.

Unfitmother · 08/12/2007 17:54

I can't believe what how judgemental moondog has been. DS has been following the 'regime' she described i.e. no pull-up and feeling the wet pjs for 4 years as he's 10 now and is still wet every night. The sheets, duvet cover etc. are washed every day, (how environmentally friendly is that moondog?).
We've tried alarms and medication all with no effect.
I guess both DS and I are 'lazy'?

KITTYmaspudding · 08/12/2007 18:22

unfitmother, it's either that or moondog is a sh*t stirrer with a big spoon. I think I'll go with the later.
She seems to have her followers though, not many thankfully.

Unfitmother · 08/12/2007 20:02

You're probably right. I shouldn't have let her get to me but some things just get under your skin!

KITTYmaspudding · 08/12/2007 20:09

I walked into this one. I forgot what she can be like.

Unfitmother · 08/12/2007 20:11

I'm quite new to this site but I know now!

3JinglesandnoBells · 08/12/2007 21:59

Unfitmother...I can't even start to think of how frustrating it must be for all of you....and of course for your ds it must be quite traumatic, at the age he is at.
I hope that he grows out of it soon or that you find some kind of solution...

jinglebells2shoessmells · 08/12/2007 22:03

moondog is actually a really helpful person(she has helped me in the past)
but she is a SALT(SPEECH AND LANGUAGE THERAPIST) sorry caps stuck.
not an incontinece advisor, so her advise only works as a parent.
dd has had a SALT for most of her life and they have NEVER advised on incontinece isuues it is not there job.

3JinglesandnoBells · 08/12/2007 22:15

2shoes, I think it's yet again that a poster can be great and supportive on some aspects and then be less supportive on others....Desiderata is one of those aswell....she is so fab and so supportive in so many ways, but someitmes...lol....it's one of those things....

DaphneHarvey · 08/12/2007 22:26

My dd and ds were both dry at night very soon after day-time potty training. Certainly by the age of 3. I've had to change a wet bed for my ds (now well over 4) only once - and that was on holiday when we were staying in a friend's cottage for gawd's sake.

I, on the other hand, peed the bed on the night of my 30th birthday party. Unfortunately I'd drunk one or two too many tequilas.

DaphneHarvey · 08/12/2007 22:31

In my experience she (md) finds it difficult to put herself in another person's shoes. She maybe doesn't have much of an imagination? She has posted as such on another thread.

jinglebells2shoessmells · 08/12/2007 22:36

3jingles i agree(not about desi as no expirence) md has pissed me off big time on here. but i know she would help me with a SALT thing.
I just think you don't ask a mechanic why your oven isn't working.

3JinglesandnoBells · 08/12/2007 22:50

very true...however we are all parents...or one has to assume, lol...so we can always give our parenting opinion...but if it is out of our proffessional league then that is all we can do....and, well, we all hold strong opinions about certain things....
must admit, I used to hold very strong PT opinions, thinking anyone training early being rotten and causing harm...but have now, with experience, as a mother, come to realise that indeed every child is different and therefore everything has to be done in an individual approach, rather having one method....

PaulaYatesbiggestfan · 08/12/2007 22:53

was on this thread earlier but now it just seems like loads of bitching about moondog
dont agree with her opinion - state why
just dont sit about tearing her apart in her absence
please - this is just not 'mumsnet'

3JinglesandnoBells · 08/12/2007 22:54

Paulka someone earlier stated why they thought whatever about MD and others then just agreed with it (if they did)....

BoysAreLikeReindeer · 08/12/2007 22:54

Erm I think it's out of order to be discussing other people here. Fair enough to have a go at Moondog, what has Desi done to upset you on this thread ? Not Good Form, methinks.

Sorry