to think that the school nurse shouldn't have sent me this letter...

[emkana]

which has a programme in it how to deal with dd2's "bedwetting" WTF? She doesn't do "bedwetting", she's only 4.4 and still in pull-ups, which I thought was widely accepted as quite normal?

[mistletoemiggins]

ok moondog - please tell me how to train DS - I really do want to know what I need to do to help him

[edam]

it's not a question of 'blame'. And it's not a flaming competition. You don't get a referral for bedwetting until the child is seven. So bedwetting at a younger age is within the normal range.

[moondog]

Wee last thing at night.
Wake up for a wee at midnight.
No pull-ups.
Towel over sheet in the bed and plastic under it.
Expalin what you are doing.
Leave it at that.
The child will learn in a few days.

[PaulaYatesbiggestfan]

i do agree with moondog
I think a lot of training nt children (with no gu issues) is about the adult biting the bullet not the child

you have to let the child experience 'wet' 'nastiness' in order to get them to be dry

[moondog]

That is such an arbitrary and nonsensical notion Edam,that because you are not referred to an enuresis specialist it aint a problem.



Tonnes of things are problem but they sure as hell aint referred ot anyone.

Anyway,why should NHS funds and resources be wasted on people who are too bloody lazy to train their kids to control a basic bodily function??

[mistletoemiggins]

last month I had no pull ups and as single parent couldnt go to shops to buy some....so put DS to bed in nothing
checked him at 10opm and the bed was sodden
I just dont know what I can do to help him!

[PaulaYatesbiggestfan]

always raise a midnight - it is not for long
sometimes i out pot in bedroom for security

i dont try till over 3 bur always by 3.5

[PaulaYatesbiggestfan]

always we before bed mistress- how ong can he hold for in the day?

[moondog]

Miggins,you only tried it once right?
You have to be more patient than that.
I'm talking two weeks at least.

[Ellbell]

Mistletoemiggins and Hatwoman... My dd1 never ever had a dry nappy at night... ever. She is 7.6 now and I reckon would still wee in a nappy at night if I put one on her. She is a heavy sleeper and I don't think that the need to do a wee was strong enough to wake her up. We took the pull-ups away when she was about 5 and put her on the toilet when we were going to bed ourselves for a couple of years. I take your point about this not being so very different to wearing a nappy, but we did always tell her what we were doing and try to get her to open her eyes and realise that she was doing a wee (not always successfully, I admit). I think the difference was that she got used to the idea of NOT having a nappy on at night, and knew that she couldn't just 'wee at will'. She never seemed to find the idea of wearing a nappy at night babyish or 'gross'... she just liked being able to wee in comfort without having to get out of bed (the lazy moo ). We stopped putting her on the toilet late at night about a year ago and she's only wet the bed once in that time, so it has worked over a period of time.

Having said all that, I don't think it's a problem for a 4-y-o to be in nappies at night at all. But I also don't necessarily agree that the only sign of being ready to go nappy-free at night is having consistently dry nappies in the morning.

Emkana... the nurse probably took your comment on the questionnaire as a very tenuous hint that you wanted help with this. Reading between the lines taken too far, I think!

[mistletoemiggins]

he is terrible during the day too - his school trousers are washed daily as when he gets home from school they stick of wee
had this at nursery and hoped he would be ok at school but he isnt
he just doesnt seem to care if he smells or not

he has trousers which are easy to undo otherwise he complains but it doesnt make a difference

I really dont know how I can train him seeing as he 100% wees b4 bed but is wet by 10pm

[edam]

Easy, Moondog! I said bedwetting up to age 7 is within the normal range. Have you any evidence to set against that?

[canmummy]

I think she was only trying to be helpful!

Dd2 has been seen by the school nurse a couple of times at my request because of bedwetting (I only contacted her because daytime accidents were getting more frequent as well)

After 3 weeks of following her advice she's finally been dry for the last 6 nights

Remember you don't HAVE to take any of her advice

[edam]

And I don't know why you are attacking me for using NHS resources, I'm not!

[hatwoman]

are you saying that after a couple of weeks of being woken at midnight they will be able to go through the night? why is that?

[orangehead]

ds2 wets in day, he was dry for a year and a half but been wetting for last 9 months. He will quite happily sit/play whatever with soaking wet pants for ages if I allowed him. If I tried that at night I dont think it would bother him in slightest. Although Im really not bothered about night now just trying to concentrate on day

[BahHunkerBug]

I don't understand why leaving them till they're ready is a problem for people.

Do I need to get my "let 'em be children fgs" thread out and wave it at you, MD?

I think I'll do a range of t-shirts with "yep, it's a nappy, what business is it of yours, crone" on them too

[mistletoemiggins]

I take ur point Moondog but do ur seriously think that when he wets the bed for a fortnight so early on in the evening he will "learn"?

if u think so, I will try even though as a working parent trying to get bedding washed & dried is a nightmare!

[PaulaYatesbiggestfan]

well done you and dd canmummy!

[moondog]

I rather think it is for you to show me that wetting at night up to the age of 7/8 is normal Edam,not t'other way round.

There is a big difference between behaviour that is neurologically typical (ie normal) and behaviour that is normalised (ie great big kids given license to wee away.)

Of course they'll carry on if you put them into pull-ups.
Heavens, as someone who has to get up at least twice a night for a wee myself,the idea seduces me.

[EmsMum]

moondog, have you actually had a kid with enuresis? If so and have some magic method please do tell. My DD is dry now - at the age of 8 and it wasn't 'dead easy'. If it was so easy the enuresis nurse would have told us on the first visit rather than it being a 6 month process.

In some cases it is the hormone thing. In others its small bladder. Real physiological problems which are no-ones 'fault'.

You are correct to some extent about pull ups - a child is less likely to become dry while using them. However if the child really isn't ready (physically or psychologically) then they are useful meanwhile.

[moondog]

It's pure behaviourism.
Hunker,I let my kids be kids (you know that I am an ole lentil weaver).I just don't want them pissing into expensively manufactured,chemical laden ecologically unsound textiles every night. It's gross.

[mistletoemiggins]

I dont think wearing pull ups is normal BUT I cant face washing sheets every day
I would try if I thought it would work - am not lazy
DD(3) is dry

its so hard and I so want him to be out of them but when they are sodden eveyr morning I just dont know what to do

[hatwoman]

md - in Ellbell's case your approach took a couple of years!

ellbell - the thing with dd is that she really doesn;t like wearing pull-ups. we put them on her when we go to bed. sometimes we are too late and she has wet the bed - it doesn;t wake her up! she too is a heavy sleeper - I don;t think it's a comfort/lazy thing. and on occassions when I have talked to her about weeing at night she's very offended byany hint that she might do it if she were not asleep,

interesting posts though - I had always thought there was just no point in trying until you had dry pull-ups.

[mistletoemiggins]

am not taking offense by u Moondog - just asking for help!