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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH is sulking over sex

443 replies

erin48 · 29/09/2021 22:05

This is so embarrassing to post as I feel like I'm in the wrong here but I need some opinions.

DH loves blowjobs, I don't hate them, don't enjoy them but I will do it because he enjoys it.

The last few months have been difficult. I had an early miscarriage (DH was nothing but supportive during this time). Then he has been completely wiped out with covid for the past 2 weeks.

Due to being double vaccinated, I am still working, my boss and colleagues are aware he has it. He's been sleeping in the spare room and contact has been minimal.

Then, my uncle died unexpectedly Monday night, I received the sad news on Tuesday morning.

Today, on our temperature check upon entrance into the office mine was a little high and I'd woke up with a headache. My boss told me to keep an eye on my temperature and 2 hours later, it was flashing amber with a temperature of 38.7. My boss sent me home and asked for me to have a test done ASAP. I went straight to the local drive through test centre and I am waiting for results.

His first reaction to this was "you can't not work for 10 days, we can't lose the money". Then tonight he's got out of the shower and asked me for a blow job knowing that since about 5pm I've had a sore throat and feel shivery. I said no, now he's sulking and has ruined our evening catching up on a couple of tv shows we watch together.

I said to him "I feel rough" and he said "we don't have to have sex we can do other things you know" in a shitty tone.

My uncle has passed away unexpectedly, DH has had covid so I've been doing everything whilst he has been wiped out with it and now I suspect my test is going to come back positive, I feel fluey and do not want to have sex or give him a blow job! I'm not in the mood and I feel shite, mentally and physically.

He does this every now and then as I suspect he's not happy with the amount he gets.

How do I handle this? He always has a smart arse response ready for when I try and defend myself.

OP posts:
FourEyesGood · 29/09/2021 22:06

There’s nothing less sexy than a sulker.

Pizzalover77 · 29/09/2021 22:06

@erin48

This is so embarrassing to post as I feel like I'm in the wrong here but I need some opinions.

DH loves blowjobs, I don't hate them, don't enjoy them but I will do it because he enjoys it.

The last few months have been difficult. I had an early miscarriage (DH was nothing but supportive during this time). Then he has been completely wiped out with covid for the past 2 weeks.

Due to being double vaccinated, I am still working, my boss and colleagues are aware he has it. He's been sleeping in the spare room and contact has been minimal.

Then, my uncle died unexpectedly Monday night, I received the sad news on Tuesday morning.

Today, on our temperature check upon entrance into the office mine was a little high and I'd woke up with a headache. My boss told me to keep an eye on my temperature and 2 hours later, it was flashing amber with a temperature of 38.7. My boss sent me home and asked for me to have a test done ASAP. I went straight to the local drive through test centre and I am waiting for results.

His first reaction to this was "you can't not work for 10 days, we can't lose the money". Then tonight he's got out of the shower and asked me for a blow job knowing that since about 5pm I've had a sore throat and feel shivery. I said no, now he's sulking and has ruined our evening catching up on a couple of tv shows we watch together.

I said to him "I feel rough" and he said "we don't have to have sex we can do other things you know" in a shitty tone.

My uncle has passed away unexpectedly, DH has had covid so I've been doing everything whilst he has been wiped out with it and now I suspect my test is going to come back positive, I feel fluey and do not want to have sex or give him a blow job! I'm not in the mood and I feel shite, mentally and physically.

He does this every now and then as I suspect he's not happy with the amount he gets.

How do I handle this? He always has a smart arse response ready for when I try and defend myself.

I'd tell him to fuck off
Catnuzzle · 29/09/2021 22:06

Leave him. That's disgusting behaviour.

bubblebath62636 · 29/09/2021 22:07

Why did you marry this creep? He has no respect for you.

You're not a blow up doll, tell him to fuck off.

And besides what grown man asks for a BJ?

LTB

Quartz2208 · 29/09/2021 22:07

That is awful - he should be looking after you with everything that has happened and his one thought is sex

He is the most selfish man I have come across in awhile

OrangeTortoise · 29/09/2021 22:07

He's being a massive dick, OP.

StMarysKettle · 29/09/2021 22:08

You are absolutely not in the wrong. You don't have to do anything you don't want to and you don't need an excuse. No is enough.

ducksalive · 29/09/2021 22:08

Sulking isn't attractive.

I wouldn't defend myself, I'd just ignore him until he pulls himself together and starts behaving like an adult.

QuestionEverythingBaby · 29/09/2021 22:08

Urghh

YouMeandtheSpew · 29/09/2021 22:10

Gross

ThePoint678 · 29/09/2021 22:10

He is utterly disgusting.

I hope you’re feeling better soon OP Flowers

PlanDeRaccordement · 29/09/2021 22:11

Well he’s being the worst version of himself. I hope this isn’t a regular thing, because I could not put up with it.

AttaGirrrrl · 29/09/2021 22:12

What a total dickhead. How many times has he pleasured you while he had covid? Tell him to fuck off and make you a hot toddy.

Strongswans · 29/09/2021 22:13

I'd be handing it by telling him to get out tbh. No is enough on it's on, let alone with all you've been through and feeling ill on top. He's shown you what his priorities are now.

StartingAgain6369 · 29/09/2021 22:13

I'm a 52 y/o male, no way, don't agree it to it

IWantToBeNynaeve · 29/09/2021 22:13

I'd be really upset if my dh ever behaved like that OP, that's disgusting. You're unwell, he should be minding you not asking for a bj and sulking when you say no. Even if you weren't ill you're perfectly entitled to say no, you're not a sex object. I hope he comes to his senses and apologises to you.

louisejxxx · 29/09/2021 22:14

I have absolutely no idea why you’d think you’re in the wrong here.

There are so many things wrong with how he behaved I’m not sure where to start!

Unanananana · 29/09/2021 22:16

@FourEyesGood

There’s nothing less sexy than a sulker.
Indeed. Or someone who would be happy with sex with an unwilling partner. Fucking grim.

I hope you feel well enough soon to dump his disgusting ass.

NatriumChloride · 29/09/2021 22:16

What a fucking loser.

speakout · 29/09/2021 22:19

This is verging on abuse OP.

Foul disgusting man.

AramintaLee · 29/09/2021 22:19

I'm embarrassed for him. What a chump.

Hope your test comes back negative and you feel better soonFlowers

Mischance · 29/09/2021 22:20

If you don't like giving oral sex, then simply do not do it..... ever.
You have not signed a contract to do it.

If you are married to a man who expects you to do something you do not like, then leave him.
If you are married to a man who sulks over it, then leave him.
If you are married to a man who sulks if you do not do this, when you are ill, then leave him.

erin48 · 29/09/2021 22:21

He's not usually like this, it's only when it comes to blowjobs.

I've just said to him "I feel rough, uncle (name) passed away and I don't want to" and he replied "bringing (uncles name) into it is a bit of a cheap shot" I just don't understand him.

Thanks everyone, I've done my hot water bottle and headed to bed. I'll leave him to sulk it out and no, I won't get an apology. He never does when it comes to sulking because I don't want to do it.

OP posts:
PermanentTemporary · 29/09/2021 22:22

Actually thought this might be unreasonable.

But no.

Try not to hold on to this one. Clearly there's some underlying issues. But asking for a bj when someone has just come down with a virus... what??

honeybee1986 · 29/09/2021 22:22

I can't believe that ! What an arse . He should be looking after you. Also appears like he doesn't give a shit about your feelings . Please get rid of him and find someone worthy of you !
Hope you feel better soon x x