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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think they should have told me about the cameras

194 replies

DianaBrigg · 27/09/2021 17:06

I was invited to stay with a friend, her husband and their 2 dcs. They have a lovely house and I was there for a week.

A few days ago I spoke to my friend to say thank you and she said that they loved having me, especially because I was so funny dancing away to the radio getting breakfast.

I was absolutely mortified. So it turns out they have security cameras all over their house. I had absolutely NO IDEA.

AIBU to think they should have told me? I feel like they’ve completely violated my privacy and don’t think I ever want to see them again. I mean who knows if they had cameras in the room I stayed in? In the bathroom?

I’m so angry.

OP posts:
OlympicProcrastinator · 27/09/2021 17:07

That’s so creepy. Yes I think they should have told you. Why are they watching them back and commenting on your dancing if they are only there for security? I’d be livid YANBU.

ImNotDancing · 27/09/2021 17:08

I would absolutely hate that because not only do they have the cameras but they’ve actually gone back and watched you on them! They absolutely should have said something

AbandonedCharacter · 27/09/2021 17:08

YANBU!

Whataroyalannoyance · 27/09/2021 17:09

So incredibly unreasonable of them. Why were they even looking at the footage

Winterfellismyhome · 27/09/2021 17:09

YANBU. I'd be really pissed off

TangledTrees · 27/09/2021 17:09

100% they should have told you. I wouldn’t set foot in their house again and would be feeling very frosty towards them.

HumphreyCobblers · 27/09/2021 17:10

Urgh that is horrible

Fairyliz · 27/09/2021 17:11

Creepy perverts why were they looking at footage?
I would be really cross and let them know.

Brollywasntneededafterall · 27/09/2021 17:11

One of my customers has a camera I found after 6 years!! Had thought it was a sports trophy! Omg I have sang and danced while vacuuming the entire time.
If a so called friend had not told me she would be an ex friend..

Aquamarine1029 · 27/09/2021 17:12

These "freinds" are absolutely fucking creeps and I would tell her so. They went back to watch recordings of you?! That is truly unbelievable. I wouldn't ever see or speak to these people again.

DressBitch · 27/09/2021 17:14

I find this so horrible.

My friend sent me a photo from a camera in her house showing her mum. I said she absolutely had to tell her mum it was there!

PlonkyWillyWonky · 27/09/2021 17:15

That's a bit creepy
What on earth did you say to her when she told you?

Original poster
DianaBrigg · 27/09/2021 17:16

I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels this way. I did ask why they were looking at footage and she said they often looked back at things to settle disputes, for example who really drank the last of the milk and didn’t replace it. Apparently one of the kids saw me use the same knife on the butter and jam and got blamed for it. So they checked to see who really was the culprit.

OP posts:
Harlequin1088 · 27/09/2021 17:18

Oh my Christ that is awful. A decent friend would have said, "Just to let you know, we have security cameras but we'll be turning them off for the duration of your stay".

Surely they have no need to have security cameras if you're staying in the home because that's security enough??

MsVestibule · 27/09/2021 17:19

That's awful. I honestly couldn't stay friends with people who did this. We do all sorts of things in communal areas of houses that we wouldn't want other people to see (nose picking, arse scratching, cake stealing etc) and it's a horrible violation of privacy.

But why would she mention it to you after you'd left and not when you were there?

Antinerak · 27/09/2021 17:19

YANBU! They should have told you so you would have the option to ask them to turn them off while you stayed. I understand why people have security cameras- we even have them- but not for disputes over jam or spying on people! How rude and creepy!

MsVestibule · 27/09/2021 17:21

How did you react? Did you say anything at the time?

Birdkin · 27/09/2021 17:23

@DianaBrigg

I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels this way. I did ask why they were looking at footage and she said they often looked back at things to settle disputes, for example who really drank the last of the milk and didn’t replace it. Apparently one of the kids saw me use the same knife on the butter and jam and got blamed for it. So they checked to see who really was the culprit.
Wtf

What a weird dynamic

They definitely should have told you, that’s beyond creepy

MagnoliaBeige · 27/09/2021 17:26

Have they told you exactly which rooms they have them in? I’m normally one for giving people second chances but that’s so unbelievably crossed a line, it would be the end of the friendship for me - how could you ever relax around them again?

HelloChompy · 27/09/2021 17:27

That is really bad. I walk dogs for a few clients who have cameras to check in on their dogs and they have pointed the cameras out to me. I would feel really angry too OP. It's a complete invasion of your privacy.

AwFeebs · 27/09/2021 17:27

Straight up weird. YANBU.

nailvarnishhubby · 27/09/2021 17:29
Shock I wouldn't go back!
Droite · 27/09/2021 17:30

If a friend did that to me, they would be ex-friends.

EmmalineC · 27/09/2021 17:30

Completely and utterly creepy. Ex-friends, now, I hope.

Stovetopespresso · 27/09/2021 17:52

weird just weird! I'd feel so violated!! especially as you were being so innocently joyful. twats.

"dance like no one's watching" is a trite wall plaque for a reason!

also spying on eachother and being blamey about the jam/butter thing urgh. maybe they've gone odd in lockdown??