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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think they should have told me about the cameras

194 replies

DianaBrigg · 27/09/2021 17:06

I was invited to stay with a friend, her husband and their 2 dcs. They have a lovely house and I was there for a week.

A few days ago I spoke to my friend to say thank you and she said that they loved having me, especially because I was so funny dancing away to the radio getting breakfast.

I was absolutely mortified. So it turns out they have security cameras all over their house. I had absolutely NO IDEA.

AIBU to think they should have told me? I feel like they’ve completely violated my privacy and don’t think I ever want to see them again. I mean who knows if they had cameras in the room I stayed in? In the bathroom?

I’m so angry.

OP posts:
nettie434 · 27/09/2021 22:31

@DianaBrigg

I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels this way. I did ask why they were looking at footage and she said they often looked back at things to settle disputes, for example who really drank the last of the milk and didn’t replace it. Apparently one of the kids saw me use the same knife on the butter and jam and got blamed for it. So they checked to see who really was the culprit.
As if it wasn't bad enough in the first place to have the security cameras and not tell you. What hideous crime to use the same knife for jam and butter Grin

I do realise it's better to have separate knives, it just seems so revolting not to be able to say 'sorry I drank the last of the milk. I'll go and get some'.

DroopyClematis · 27/09/2021 22:44

@DianaBrigg

I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels this way. I did ask why they were looking at footage and she said they often looked back at things to settle disputes, for example who really drank the last of the milk and didn’t replace it. Apparently one of the kids saw me use the same knife on the butter and jam and got blamed for it. So they checked to see who really was the culprit.
That's madness! So they regularly look for evidence like' who's used the same knife?'

I'd not go there again.

Tistheseason17 · 27/09/2021 22:46

Jeez, how little trust they have in each other as a family and... I reckon there were cameras in bedroom/bathroom which is just wrong.
TBH - I'd go back and look for proof of cameras and then I'd either relax and breathe (no cameras) or go frigging mental depending on findings.

Gumbomambo · 27/09/2021 22:51

They checked the internal camera system because a child had defiled the jam with the butter knife and the child grassed you up as the culprit? They actually use a camera system to check on these inanities? You should have been told that there was a camera system that was regularly viewed it’s a massive invasion of your privacy. They are really odd and have no concept of boundaries.

FawnFrenchieMum · 27/09/2021 22:53

That’s just fucking weird! We have a camera in our kitchen to watch the dog when we’re out but it’s only activated when he’s on his own.
We don’t use it to spy on the kids let alone a guest in our house!
Plus it’s in very plain view so anyone making a cuppa or getting a knife etc would see it straight away anyway.

Lotusmonster · 27/09/2021 22:53

Is this even legal?

CyclingIsNotOuting · 27/09/2021 22:54

My friend stayed the weekend in a room that has a ring motion activated camera.
It isn’t hidden and it wasn’t switched on.
My DC weren’t even allowed in the room all weekend to maintain her privacy.
YANBU.

mistermagpie · 27/09/2021 22:57

God this whole thing is weird. They have cameras in their house to see who drank the last of the milk?!? What a bunch of oddballs.

And as for not telling you they were there and then watching the footage back, that's horrible, I would hate that so much and I don't think I could be friends with them anymore to be honest.

As an aside, I walk a neighbours dog quite regularly. She has a camera in her living room to watch the dog during the day (which I also think is odd, but I don't have a dog and maybe this is normal?), I know it's there and it's quite an obvious camera but I still feel really awkward knowing she might be watching me. I don't do anything other than go an get the dog to take him out, but I still feel uncomfortable with it. Your situation is on a whole new level!!

Lotusmonster · 27/09/2021 22:57

I’m pretty sure that filming or photographing people without consent in a place where they would reasonably expect privacy is illegal. You might want to let them know this….it would put the shitters up them! They should have a CCTV sign clearly visible.

Member869894 · 27/09/2021 23:12

op what did you say to them?

BiBabbles · 27/09/2021 23:16

Yeah, YANBU.

If it was a doorbell cam or something similarly obvious (at least all the doorbell cams I've seen are big chunky obvious things) and they just happened to spot it as some apps will bring up the last X amount when you look at it, I might swing the other way as those are more expected now, but the fact you were there a while and never noticed suggests otherwise and the whole using it for arguments is a new one for me. As others said, you had an expectation of privacy that wasn't respected.

We have used a spare camera inside for a week or so as we were trying to find where a little furry creature was to get it to leave as it kept being spotted but too fast to keep up with. We did tell someone who came over, but as it was set up to detect if the critter walked past, it would have only gotten his ankles if he had managed to set it off so I think was less of a privacy concern.

DixonD · 27/09/2021 23:20

They are definitely in the wrong.

Someone put one up on our property without asking permission (they use it for hobby purposes). We didn’t even know about it until we saw the footage posted online.

Some people just do not think.

salsmum · 28/09/2021 01:43

My DD has cerebral palsy and has her own flat, she had carers who were live in and abused her mentally and one time physically too... after it happened with the first live in carer we paid to instal cameras. We had to let the agency and carers know and had to put a sticker saying Cctv in plain sight. We did not put a camera in the carers room nor bathroom ( obviously). Sadly after a while the ' carers' forgot they were there and still my daughter was abused 🤬🤬 I've ended up moving in with my DD to support her 24-7. We did NOT put cameras in to 'spy' on carers but merely if my DD reported abuse we could then confirm.. the last straw was when a 'carer' wiped my DD mouth with a pair of yellow marigolds that were used to clean the toilet with!! 😮🤬 she denied it until I offered to show her a screen shot from Cctv on my phone then of course she knew that I had proof and left.

AnnieSnap · 28/09/2021 01:57

Absolutely, they should have told you where their cameras are. My husband is a techie freak and has cameras placed around our house. Ostensibly, to monitor our dogs and cats if we’re out. Also, they allow us to know that a pet carer (who comes in for to our animals when we’re away) do the job properly. We always tell anyone staying with us and the pet carers that there are cameras and where they are situated.

Charlize43 · 28/09/2021 02:15

That's an awful violation of your privacy. What dreadfully creepy people. I definitely wouldn't see them again (unless you enjoy being filmed covertly).

FlorenciaFlora · 28/09/2021 02:17

Salsmum that is absolutely awful.

KTB19 · 28/09/2021 02:31

I have a pet camera for my house. My cat Kevin is nervous and freaks out over sound so we are unable to activate our intruder alarm as if that went off, Kev would probably have a heart attack.

The camera we use is called Furbo and I can check on the cat, even get the camera to dispense him a treat and we can also talk to him through the camera.

However, the main reason for the camera is because we get a 'person alert' if there is a person in the house (for example - intruder), it would also notify us if our smoke detector goes off and it would notify us if there was someone smashing our glass. So it kind of serves as an intruder alarm in a round about way. We just get the notifications on our phone.

It does record to the cloud and you can downloa the footage and you also get a 60 second summary of what your pet has been doing.

When we are at home, we deactivate it and swould not dream of recording anyone - ever. If someone had to come to my house to check on my cat, they would be advised about the pet camera.

This is freaky, what an invasion of privacy and their reasons for using the camera to settle disputes - Jesus Christ! I wonder if they have them in the bedrooms?

1forAll74 · 28/09/2021 02:36

Is this how they get their entertainment, what weird people.!

Gothichouse40 · 28/09/2021 02:41

I would not be back. They would not be friends. Im not even sure that what they have done is legal. Filming anyone without their permission. Who does this to friends?

notangelinajolie · 28/09/2021 02:59

I think I would be ending this friendship. Reading this made my blood turn cold. Very creepy and not normal to have cameras watching what goes on inside the family home.

Askingforfriend · 28/09/2021 03:18

Not a fan of the cameras but I guess I would be mostly OK with it IF they had told you as soon as you got there and shown you where they are AND told you that sometimes they look at the footage.

I would be wondering if I had got filmed changing for bed or picking my nose or whatever.

Creepy.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 28/09/2021 03:45

Yeah, they absolutely should have told you about the cameras.
That's really bad.
I can understand why they didn't switch them off - security etc. - but you should have been told they were there.

Somethingwicked9 · 28/09/2021 03:50

We have cameras in the kitchen as I am disabled I have fell many times in the kitchen and couldn’t get back up due to the flooring I asked my husband to put a camera in there when he was at work he used to check it threw out the day I had a pretty nasty fall and luckily he checked the cameras maybe half hour later so he could get me help , we have turned camera off now as he works from home but it still sits there it’s in plain site but I never though while it was on about telling guests it’s there … but it’s gave me food for though for if he goes back to work I didn’t even think about the fact it could make people uncomfortable simply because I was really thinking about myself and my safety but thanks for the heads up OP we will make sure we do so in the future.

PrincessNutella · 28/09/2021 04:05

I would never speak to them again--after I yelled at them. And told them that I would tell absolutely everyone else I knew what fucking horrible creepers they were.

MintJulia · 28/09/2021 05:08

I think you need to tell them that you won't be visiting their house again, and why.

Creepy beyond belief.

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