Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think they should have told me about the cameras

194 replies

DianaBrigg · 27/09/2021 17:06

I was invited to stay with a friend, her husband and their 2 dcs. They have a lovely house and I was there for a week.

A few days ago I spoke to my friend to say thank you and she said that they loved having me, especially because I was so funny dancing away to the radio getting breakfast.

I was absolutely mortified. So it turns out they have security cameras all over their house. I had absolutely NO IDEA.

AIBU to think they should have told me? I feel like they’ve completely violated my privacy and don’t think I ever want to see them again. I mean who knows if they had cameras in the room I stayed in? In the bathroom?

I’m so angry.

OP posts:
postingfortraffichere · 28/09/2021 08:43

@itsgrand we have been broken into and attempted broken into. - they are security cameras to catch thieves or deter them.

Ours allow us to talk to the thieves as a deterrent to get them to leave the property.

We have a big house and it is in a remote location where no one would call the police in a break in so it makes us feel safer.

I'm confused why you would wonder why people want security cameras?!

BuffySummersReportingforSanity · 28/09/2021 08:48

I honestly don't see the big deal of having cameras in your home - in the same way you might have one at the doorbell or in the garden.

The law sees it as a big deal, and isn't ok with you deciding boundaries for other people. You need to tell people they are there before they come in, so they can choose not to.

YesIDoLoveCrisps · 28/09/2021 08:58

Send them a link to this thread.

Hello OPs perverted voyeur friends!
What you did is bizarre. You are terrible friends and very bad parents. You may also be breaking the law.
You are absolute weirdos.

Fuck you.
😡

saraclara · 28/09/2021 09:06

[quote postingfortraffichere]@itsgrand we have been broken into and attempted broken into. - they are security cameras to catch thieves or deter them.

Ours allow us to talk to the thieves as a deterrent to get them to leave the property.

We have a big house and it is in a remote location where no one would call the police in a break in so it makes us feel safer.

I'm confused why you would wonder why people want security cameras?![/quote]
I don't think anyone is questioning having security cameras. But they are questioning why they're running while the home is occupied, and filming guests without their knowledge.

itsgrand · 28/09/2021 09:22

[quote postingfortraffichere]@itsgrand we have been broken into and attempted broken into. - they are security cameras to catch thieves or deter them.

Ours allow us to talk to the thieves as a deterrent to get them to leave the property.

We have a big house and it is in a remote location where no one would call the police in a break in so it makes us feel safer.

I'm confused why you would wonder why people want security cameras?![/quote]
I am certainly not confused about why people would want security cameras.

I am confused as to why people have cameras running INSIDE their own home when they are at home chilling out, cooking, watching TV etc. That is on another level altogether.

OuiOuiBonjour · 28/09/2021 09:37

That's really awful.

I am on my own and have both experience of an intruder in my home and a very overactive imagination. I found being able to visually check the lounge or kitchen from my phone whilst in bed at night helpful with feeling more in control.

BUT. I would never use those devices to spy. They are Echo Show or Ring products and the camera and listening parts are switched off even when it's just me at home in the day, let alone if someone was visiting.

I can well imagine most people who have them not doing that though and I suppose that has made us more voyeuristic as
a whole. It's unsettling isn't it?

Beautiful3 · 28/09/2021 09:46

They review the footage to settle disputes like who used the last of the milk?! Thats super creepy, I would not stay there again.

Cryalot2 · 28/09/2021 09:47

They would be ex friends of mine.
They are way out of order and should have told you, and need to realise they were out of order and v much so and owe you a big apology .
Your home is where you relax ,not spy on one another over trivialities like they seem to be doing.
They should thoroughly be ashamed.

heyworld · 28/09/2021 10:02

I started a thread few months back about my Bil who has camera in the house which records footage and he watches it back,

I now have complete proof that the twat definitely watches it!! Sil (dh brothers wife) and I were talking about all sorts, I know I definitely didn't say anything about mil, but anyways they reviewed the footage, listened to what sil and I spoke about and then told mil god knows what, mil doesn't understand English so she would hear whatever they interpret for her. She then spoke privately with my dh, saying that I am a bad person because of speaking of her and I have bad intention. Unfortunately for her dh went a bit mad on her as to why are they spying, reviewing listening in, and then chatting shit to her, he told her you can't understand what's said so why are you taking their word for it, he said a lot more and stuck up for me, she went silent on him and refused to speak further on the matter. She came round to my house the other day, when I was home alone, she dropped some food off and was pretty much arse licking me, but then she's always been a two faced cow, so god only knows what her INTENTIONS are 🙄

This only proved that the damn camera isn't used for keeping an eye on 9 year old niece, if it was then it would be used as live viewing only not have it recording 24/7. She's not just sat in that room either so none of it makes sense. I've come to the conclusion that bil is a motherF&@&£ bastard and I can't wait when all his shit spirals out of his control so everyone can see him for what he truly is.

And am going to place cameras in my house for when they come over and leave it turned on and record them so let's see how they like being recorded. Freaks.

Pikamoo · 28/09/2021 10:17

@itsgrand lucky you that you nor your family have ever felt like your home was not secure. My in-laws were burgled while they were away, a friend was robbed at knife point inside her own home. We all have cameras now! I guess we could turn the cameras off and on when we go out/go to bed but it's just easier to leave them on all the time.

saraclara · 28/09/2021 10:38

We were burgled while we were asleep in our beds. I still wouldn't install cameras inside my house.

Outside, yes. Maybe in a hallway. But I'm not going to let paranoia rule my life, and disrespect my guests' (and my family's) privacy.

AramintaLee · 28/09/2021 10:47

Yeah they would be ex-friends for me. Not just for the fact they didn't have cameras, but for the fact that they use them to settle disputes. What a weird thing to do. Clearly zero trust amongst them.

IntermittentParps · 28/09/2021 11:03

she said they often looked back at things to settle disputes, for example who really drank the last of the milk and didn’t replace it. Apparently one of the kids saw me use the same knife on the butter and jam and got blamed for it.

Have they not got much going on in their lives?
I'd look at them very differently after this.

CounsellorTroi · 28/09/2021 11:09

@saraclara

We were burgled while we were asleep in our beds. I still wouldn't install cameras inside my house.

Outside, yes. Maybe in a hallway. But I'm not going to let paranoia rule my life, and disrespect my guests' (and my family's) privacy.

Same here and I agree.
Livpool · 28/09/2021 11:22

YANBU

They are weird and creepy as fuck

AnnieSnap · 28/09/2021 11:25

@DarlingFell

Absolutely disgraceful. We had a dog sitter look after our dogs recently, we wouldn’t have dreamt of looking at the footage from our cameras while he was there, such a huge violation of his right to privacy.
Not if you tell them that it’s there as dog cam and that it is recording.
AnnieSnap · 28/09/2021 11:30

@saraclara

To those who have cameras, why are they running when you're in the house? I can see the point of they're set along with an alarm when you leave, but why have them running when you're there? Or worse, when your away from home but your partner or kids are there.

It makes me shudder. If a partner of mine installed cameras it'd be time to LTB for me.

Because as another poster said, we forget about them. Also, we’d have to make a point of switching each one off. We’re fine with them and don’t watch the footage. They are there in case we have a burglar and to check on our pets when we are out. We have turned them off when we’ve had someone staying.
FrozenoutofCostco · 28/09/2021 15:06

I'm not suggesting reporting them to anybody - not at all - however if they already were being investigated by social services or police, they could get in trouble for that. They're invading the children's rights to privacy

Bitofachinwag · 28/09/2021 15:39

[quote Pikamoo]@itsgrand lucky you that you nor your family have ever felt like your home was not secure. My in-laws were burgled while they were away, a friend was robbed at knife point inside her own home. We all have cameras now! I guess we could turn the cameras off and on when we go out/go to bed but it's just easier to leave them on all the time.[/quote]
Surely it's not particularly complicated to turn them off?

Buzzinwithbez · 28/09/2021 15:42

I wonder how their children will feel growing up knowing their every action is monitored and that footage will be checked for any misdemeanor.

Bitofachinwag · 28/09/2021 15:47

I'd also be concerned about where the footage is stored. Do you trust companies like Google and Amazon to keep your information private? Aren't you concerned they might use it for another purpose? Do you really want large corporations or governments to watch your every move and listen to everything you say?

Lampzade · 28/09/2021 15:50

That is creepy AF.
They would be ex friends
Bloody awful

MyPatronusIsACat · 28/09/2021 15:55

Ewwww awful! Confused

MyPatronusIsACat · 28/09/2021 15:55

YANBU.

MyPatronusIsACat · 28/09/2021 15:55

YANBU. That's nasty and creepy. I'd have been FUMING. How weird and sinister to have been watching you. Fuck me. I would be giving these fuckers a massively wide berth. Anyone recording someone without their permission - and without them knowing - is a voyeur, and a pervert.

@DianaBrigg You need to ditch these 'friends.'