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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think they should have told me about the cameras

194 replies

DianaBrigg · 27/09/2021 17:06

I was invited to stay with a friend, her husband and their 2 dcs. They have a lovely house and I was there for a week.

A few days ago I spoke to my friend to say thank you and she said that they loved having me, especially because I was so funny dancing away to the radio getting breakfast.

I was absolutely mortified. So it turns out they have security cameras all over their house. I had absolutely NO IDEA.

AIBU to think they should have told me? I feel like they’ve completely violated my privacy and don’t think I ever want to see them again. I mean who knows if they had cameras in the room I stayed in? In the bathroom?

I’m so angry.

OP posts:
Flawedperfection · 27/09/2021 20:38

What voyeuristic weirdos and a complete invasion of your privacy and violation of trust.
I have house sat a lot in some very naice houses and would be devastated if I discovered I’d been recorded without my consent. I always tried to act like I was being filmed (just in case) as I’ve met some real weirdos in this job, but sometimes after a shower, I would be sat sprawled in a very unladylike fashion- legs akimbo- in pants and vest top on their lovely sofas. If they caught me on camera in this way (and stuffing my face with Ben And Jerry’s, I just don’t want to know. And if they were disgusted at the state of me, the tests shouldn’t be watching!
I hate this modern day trend of filming everything and everyone anyway. It’s such an invasion into our privacy.

RosiePosieDozy · 27/09/2021 20:38

That's awful. Really creepy and unsettling. The fact that your friend doesn't seem to think it's creepy is worrying.

Flawedperfection · 27/09/2021 20:39
  • twats, not tests
icedcoffees · 27/09/2021 20:42

That's really horrible, I would be so creeped out.

PamDenick · 27/09/2021 20:43

This seems unlawful to me, OP. Are you in England or Wales?

MrsTerryPratchett · 27/09/2021 20:43

I would never speak to them again.

Dinoroaraus · 27/09/2021 20:46

@DianaBrigg

I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels this way. I did ask why they were looking at footage and she said they often looked back at things to settle disputes, for example who really drank the last of the milk and didn’t replace it. Apparently one of the kids saw me use the same knife on the butter and jam and got blamed for it. So they checked to see who really was the culprit.
What on earth!!!
Dinoroaraus · 27/09/2021 20:47

It's for crime prevention not who got jam on the butter disputes and perving on your guests.

Sunshinelover2 · 27/09/2021 20:47

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Timeforachangetoday12 · 27/09/2021 20:48

I have a camera in our kitchen for us to check on dog. It’s not hidden and i mentioned to my cleaner happy for her to cover it, same thing to friends who have stayed over. But I’d never check on what’s recorded (unless I’ve needed to - who has the time?!? ) it seems really bizarre to watch what yiu got up to ?

Disfordarkchocolate · 27/09/2021 20:48

I hope I'm not friends with the people who voted YABU. WTF!!

This is invasive and creepy.

saraclara · 27/09/2021 20:50

@thefourgp

Total violation of trust and privacy. I’d never speak to them again. They don’t respect you. What if you had to remove your top in the kitchen because you spilt something on it for example. It’s creepy as hell. You should make it clear to them how unacceptable it is and ask them to delete all footage of you.
That. I once discovered (after the fact) that there was a camera filming with a live stream, when I went to feed a relative's cat. The relative had watched me, as their phone was pinged when the camera sensed movement.

I still dwell on it, though I'm not aware of anything I might have done that was worthy of mockery. I just find it incredibly invasive, and sneaky not to have told me beforehand.

I'm very private and there's no way I would ever visit the people in the OP again.

Skysblue · 27/09/2021 20:50

Well, that’s illegal I think.

Definitely ex-friends!!

What a violation of your privacy.

SquigglePigs · 27/09/2021 20:51

That's awful! I don't think I could properly trust my friends again after that.

zippidydooday · 27/09/2021 20:51

I've got a camera in the kitchen for the dogs, but you can't play it back, just view it live.
I've never bothered to tell anyone it's there. But I guess I wouldn't ever be able to play it back.
I also like to look on the ring doorbell camera to check what time the dog Walker came, but she obviously knows it's there!

OnTheBoardwalk · 27/09/2021 20:52

This is proper weird and creepy

I’ve got a camera that covers the door but not seating areas in living room and the front door

I always tell people about it and offer to turn it off. I've only once watched it back when a friend was visiting. It’s the time I did a comedy fall in the doorway and we both wanted to see it

Watching back footage of you is wrong on so many levels

zippidydooday · 27/09/2021 20:53

In fact I've probably checked my kitchen cam 3 times in the past year to view a live stream when I'm at work.
Mainly when the dogs have had upset stomachs etc.

Frostine · 27/09/2021 20:53

Creepy , I would not go again.

AntiSocialDistancer · 27/09/2021 20:54

This is horrific. And why would they review them?

They wouldn't be friends of mine anymore.

Mumoblue · 27/09/2021 20:55

That’s so creepy. And checking up on their kids with CCTV doesn’t sound like… the healthiest parenting decision.

BeaLola · 27/09/2021 20:59

Wrong on so many levels
They should have said something if they were not going to turn them off

They sound strange - checking back on kids etc in this way !

Mustreadabook · 27/09/2021 20:59

I don't think this would bother me, as long as it's in the 'public' areas of the house. I mean someone could have walked in on you singing and for that reason I doubt you would have been for example walking round naked.

katemuff · 27/09/2021 21:00

Absolutely awful, I would never speak to them again. Do they invite children to their house and film them without their parents knowledge? It's insanely creepy behaviour.

Bounce55 · 27/09/2021 21:00

Fuck that
They'd be ex friends by now
Creepy
Creepy
Creepy

FatAnneTheDealer · 27/09/2021 21:02

Ha ha. Now you know how Matt Hancock felt! (Shouldn’t have put the jam knife in the butter, should you?)