If you separated from your DC's father would you stay single?

[BeatrixNotter]

Introspection prompted by some horrible news stories over the last year, women and their existing children being hurt (and worse) by a new partner turned ex.

You can never really trust anybody can you?

My DC's father had an affair in 2019 and she was unhinged, turning up at my door with a car full of people at 4am in the morning scaring the children which included a 6 month old baby.

I couldn't even trust him not to have the children around unsafe people.

I genuinely feel that I don't ever want to be in another relationship whilst my children are children, it's not worth the risk.

How about you? Do you think I'm OTT?

I do wonder why our society seems to think women cannot be happy without being in a relationship to validate them?

While I agree with you it's a shame that people still seem to think a single woman must be secretly desperate to find a man, tbf I think this applies to men too as they get older. It's true that a man in his 20s or early 30s has a free pass to be single and shag around to his heart's content, but if he is still single as he approaches 40 or older, I think that men start getting the same pity / wondering if he's gay etc.

My youngest child is 8, I have been single since I split with their dad when she was a baby.
I really love having sole control over my family life. My finances, rules in the home, involving my kids in decisions etc. I don't want to send my kids upstairs in the evening so I can have "grown up time" with my partner. I don't want another person making demands on my time. I don't want my children to feel they have less power over their lives as another person is now "in charge". It wouldn't work for us, and I am happy to live without another income in order to keep us emotionally safe.
I am fortunate that I had finished having children when I became a single parent. If I would have wanted another, i would have seriously considered using a donor.