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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think Kurt Cobain was ahead of his time (feminism, racism, homophobia)

218 replies

AllisoninWunderland · 18/09/2021 22:58

I’ve just been watching the documentary about him (man I loved him).

Aside from changing the face of music and fashion in the early 90s, aibu to think he was way ahead of his time in his views?

This is from the liner notes of their album “Incesticide,” they warned:

“If any of you in any way hate homosexuals, people of different color, or women, please do this one favor for us — leave us the f- alone! Don’t come to our shows and don’t buy our records.” The liner notes to their next album, “In Utero,” echoed that admonition: “If you’re a sexist, racist, homophobe or basically an ahole, don’t buy this CD. I don’t care if you like me, I hate you.”

He was an extremely sensitive man, highly tuned into ‘the under-dog’, a supporter of people of colour, women and the LGBTQ community.

What a waste 😢

OP posts:
AllisoninWunderland · 18/09/2021 22:59

Didn’t mean to enable voting.

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Geepee71 · 18/09/2021 23:00

I agree, just watched the documentary, now watching the Dave Grohl doc, which has lots of Nirvana bits.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 18/09/2021 23:01

Yes, he did share views that people had held for many, many years beforehand. But he was also a junkie cocklodger who rinsed his first serious girlfriend only to dump her when his career took off.

Don't put humans on a pedestal just because they made records you liked as a teenager.

trama · 18/09/2021 23:02

Absolutely. He would wear dresses and be fucking cool with it. He was a really excellent human with more than his fair share of demons.

Changechangychange · 18/09/2021 23:03

I think ironically it was way more common then, in the alternative crowd, than it is now. I was a teenager in the early 90s and ai definitely noticed an anti feminist backlash in the lad culture stuff of the late 90s/early 00s.

UmbilicusProfundus · 18/09/2021 23:04

It was the 90s, not the 50s.

notacooldad · 18/09/2021 23:04

Which doc did you watch.
Was it Montage of heck?
I ha e seen it several times.

I agree with you, he was a woman's champion in many ways.
He wasnt perfect, of course not, but he always seemed so fragile.
I remember thecdatmy his death was announced and I was so shocked and upset.

Two celebrity deaths have upset me This one and Tom Petty's.

BeaucoupFish · 18/09/2021 23:04

@AllisoninWunderland
Hi….where can I watch this please ?

Itsinthetreesitscoming · 18/09/2021 23:07

I was a similar age and being anti homophobia, anti racist and pro feminist was pretty common amongst my contemporaries - they weren't unusual views. That said, these views did challenge the really macho side of metal and rock at the time.

Borris · 18/09/2021 23:07

He was a beautiful man but a tortured soul

Itsinthetreesitscoming · 18/09/2021 23:10

It was on bbc2 tonight - Nirvana in Britain I think it was called.

RiotAtTheRodeo · 18/09/2021 23:20

Were you listening to Nirvana at the time, OP, or are you too young? I think those sentiments were pretty common with alternative musicians at the time. It was a reaction to the macho 'hair bands' of the 80s, like Van Halen and Motley Crew. But if you're younger you mightn't realise that. Bikini Kill and the whole Riot Grrrl feminism movement were very much part of that American music scene. It was the late 90s and 00s when everything got decidedly more lairy and laddish.

KimDeals · 18/09/2021 23:21

I loved him. Then I watched that documentary (montage…) and saw him so royally inebriated on heroin and with his daughter, and i can’t see him for anything else now. I was angry at how awful a dad he was.

AllisoninWunderland · 18/09/2021 23:22

@BeaucoupFish
It’s called When Nirvana came to Britain. You’ll get it now on bbc iPlayer.

I take the point that it was the 90s and not the 50s. I suppose it just struck me so much because of recent conversations surrounding racism in the wake of the George Floyd murder and surrounding women’s rights in the wake of the Sarah Everard case.

I also take the point that he was a heroin addict/victim but he was a troubled person who turned to drugs. He felt the sorrows of the world too deeply. I don’t put anyone on a pedestal, but I won’t be the first or the last person to look up to a rock star. Especially one like him. I love that he was a feminist. I love that he shunned the awful 80s misogynistic macho rock star image.

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WorkingItOutAsIGo · 18/09/2021 23:24

Seriously, you have the most ageist perspective. I write as a teenager of the 70s and my friends and I were all anti racist, anti homophobia, feminist, pro Third World, etc etc.

AllisoninWunderland · 18/09/2021 23:26

@RiotAtTheRodeo
Yes I was. It was the soundtrack to my sixth form days. I knew it then but not as profoundly as I realise it now as a fully grown woman.

Agree that he was a tortured soul.

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helpforayounggirl · 18/09/2021 23:27

I agree @KimDeals. Balls to him. Didn't he also say Courtney Love was... I can't remember... something about her sex skills. Not very feminist.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 18/09/2021 23:28

Oh, so very delicate and feminist.

'When police arrived, Love told them she had thrown a glass of juice into her husband's face and he pushed her. She said she pushed him back, then he pushed her to the floor and choked her, the police report said.

According to the report, Love received a small scratch on her forearm and a scratch on her neck in the scuffle. Love, however, said she scratched her arm with a guitar string.'

He wrote good tunes that appealed to us when we were young. That's all.

AllisoninWunderland · 18/09/2021 23:29

No I don’t have an ageist perspective! I suppose I maybe worded the title badly. It’s just a discussion about Kurt Cobain. Not about how the whole world was racist etc pre 1990! Chill.

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Getawaywithit · 18/09/2021 23:29

You don’t think those of us who were young in the 90s had any concern for racism, feminism or homophobia?

AllisoninWunderland · 18/09/2021 23:30

Right, off to bed now, night all.

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RiotAtTheRodeo · 18/09/2021 23:33

Not Kurt Cobain but this seems as a good a thread to say it on. I was very disappointed in Thurston Moore (I sound like a head teacher) for ditching Kim Gordon for a younger woman. Yes, I know nothing about their marriage but I reserve the right to roll my eyes at him all the same.

Warmduscher · 18/09/2021 23:33

I love that he was a feminist.

Men can’t be feminists.

Spysolation · 18/09/2021 23:34

I would really love to learn about a male musician who created incredible art without leaving a trail of destruction and women to pick up the pieces.

MrsTulipTattsyrup · 18/09/2021 23:34

@WorkingItOutAsIGo

Seriously, you have the most ageist perspective. I write as a teenager of the 70s and my friends and I were all anti racist, anti homophobia, feminist, pro Third World, etc etc.
And likewise for my teen years in the 80s. Younger people don’t seem to realise that society has regressed significantly in the intervening years.

Other bands and singers were doing at least the same, or more, earlier and more committedly, than Cobain. He would have been more convincing if his behaviour had matched his proclamations.

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