To have been unaware push presents are a thing here

[Yummymummy2020]

To be clear, I have never expected nor overly wanted one, but currently group of friends are in a baby boom and all six got push presents after the baby was born from their husbands and said it was the done thing, I’m just wondering aibu to think this is just an American thing or am I the one that isn’t up to speed on current trends(if so I’ll be requesting mine be backdated😂)

YABU every one of you saying eternity ring. I overheard a woman talking about her maternity rings yeara ago and how each one was for each child in a horrified 'whadayameeeeeean ye diddin get materrrrrnity rings?' . That is the only acceptable term for them.

How much are you suppose to spend on an eternity ring if you are suppose to spend 1 months salary on an engagement ring do you think?

Where does this nonsense come from? Why on earth do you think there are "rules" for how much is spent on a engagement ring? Who do you think makes these "rules"? Jewellery companies?

I'd file a question like this along with posts listing all the things a mum has made and done for Easter and the places the family have visited but is seemingly wracked with worried about whether she's "done enough" for Easter, Halloween, Christmas Eve or whatever.

Is the self esteem of some people so fragile that they constantly need to measure themselves against what others have done, made or eaten for Easter? Or what they've seen posted on Instagram or Facebook?

I'm pretty sure it was either De Beers or Tiffany that started the 1 month salary idea. I'm a jeweller and there is a still a pretty wide range of budgets for engagement rings - some blatantly less than a months salary and some I suspect massively over (unless they earn an absolute fortune ), I've never heard of a rule for eternity rings though.

@Anonmousse

I'm pretty sure it was either De Beers or Tiffany that started the 1 month salary idea. I'm a jeweller and there is a still a pretty wide range of budgets for engagement rings - some blatantly less than a months salary and some I suspect massively over (unless they earn an absolute fortune ), I've never heard of a rule for eternity rings though.

It was DeBeers

And a remarkably successful campaign it was, given the number of people who erroneously think it's a real tradition

I had no sex reveal, baby shower or push present. I must have been doing it wrong 😂

I suppose an eternity ring is traditional

Yuck, sounds like a handmaid's tale scenario.

Interesting that it’s a concept thats been going on forever by the sounds of it albeit by a different name or no name at all😂 I had no idea. Maybe I’ll get something if there is a next time at this rate😂 agree the term push present isn’t very romantic or nice at all at all, not sure where the name started just hearing a lot about it recently.It does apply to sections I assume as at least half of my friends had one and still got a present🤷🏼‍♀️ Rightly so it certainly shouldn’t matter as birth is birth and the baby is out by whatever means.I do agree the idea of getting something even small is lovely though, not asked for or expected simply a kind gesture really at a time most ladies feel pretty rough.

Actually one thing I would have really liked post birth was a massive platter of tuna sashimi from Zuma, if I ever have another child I'll request DH bring it to the post natal ward!

DH didn't get the memo about eternity rings. Can someone send him the update?

I'm Scottish. Technically I got one for each baby.

DC1 - DH bought me a pair of trousers a week after they were born and I cried about not fitting into anything I had. We were out shopping and I had a wee cry in the changing rooms when I found something that fitted.

DC2- he bought a changing bag that i had been looking for but hadn't been in stock. It was about £40 but quite jolly.

@Buttons294749 yes nice food would be amazing!!! I remember getting the previous occupants requested dinner after giving birth. A big plate of broccoli. I felt like crying as I had also had gestational diabetes in the pregnancy so was really looking forward to normal food as my diet had been really especially limited to avoid insulin at the time. To say I was heart broken at the time Is an understatement so I would have loved this. I did of course appreciate myself and baby were ok but would have really enjoyed some of my favourite foods I had avoided in pregnancy!

I wish I'd known about it, I would have asked for a diamond necklace!

I bought myself a beautiful diamond and pearl pendant after having my first @AdaColeman. I totally deserved it.

I treated myself to expensive gifts...

Yuck, sounds like a handmaid's tale scenario.

Seriously? Man buys partner lovely present after she's put up with pregnancy and childbirth and you think "rapey, abusive dystopia" @Rubyupbeat? WTAF?

Bet you're a barrel of laughs at birthdays and Christmases.😂😂😂

I think it's a really odd concept.

'Well done woman! Your body will never be the same again but here's a ring to comfort you. Look down upon it and remember your torn perineum!'

I'm surprised people are saying they've never heard of the notion, it's been around for generations. Obviously not called a push present though!

My dad bought my mum an eternity ring for their first baby, acknowledging that she'd done all the work producing him. As far as I know, she sold it when she was struggling for income after my dad died when I was a toddler. She had four children to provide for alone so I'm not surprised. She did manage to keep her engagement ring and sewing machine that he bought her, even though he said "You can sell these if anything happens to me". It's almost as though he knew he wouldn't make old bones

I didn't get a present for having DS, I'm sure if I'd asked for something in particular I would have been given it though.

DD was worn just before my birthday and I got a piece of particularly extravagant jewellery as a birthday/“push” present. I wear it every day and my little girl likes to touch it and she knows it’s special because daddy bought it for mummy when she was born. I’ve promised her when she’s a big girl she can have one too. (Maybe for her 21st!)

Back in the 1970s my mum got a watch from my dad....me...I got a bunch of flowers and a husband who held, cared, fed, loved changed a baby as much as he could whilst working and kept dd downstairs so I could sleep every evening from 7_ 11..that better than any present....sleep.

I came home to a big lump of Stilton, a packet of paté, a packet of prawns, a bottle of wine and a box of French Fancies (the latter obvs not contra indicated in pregnancy but DH despises them, but still buys them for me occasionally).
I love him

My nan sold all the jewellery her husband bought her (including the pieces she received after giving birth) to keep the roof over their heads. He worked away post WW2 and stopped sending money home when he took up with another woman. My dad and uncle robbed food, snared rabbits and poached to make sure they were all fed.

My dad is in his 70s now, so it really isn't a new thing.

No, I've never heard of anyone getting a push present, but it does sound extremely old fashioned. DH ordered my favourite pizza when I finally left hospital but I'm not sure that's what you're getting at.

My husband got me a gel pad from Mothercare that you froze and put in your knickers. After a 32 hour labour, episiotomy and ventouse, it was the only present that would have been acceptable.

It's as tacky as a baby shower and gender reveal. I'm so bloody glad I had mine 20 + years ago before all this shit appeared. And as a Mum to a stillborn baby, I took my others arriving and taking air into their lungs as the most precious gift that life can give you.

Iirc, traditionally an eternity ring was given after a year of marriage or the first baby, whichever came first. Push present sounds awful.