I PAY FOR EVERYTHING!

[Brokeandtired3]

and I'm bloody sick of it. I'm a sahm dp works (has been in and out of employment) but majority of his income goes towards his debts and loans. We have a dc together and everything I have bought.

All of our furniture, decor, dcs toys, clothes. I lend him money when he is behind on his payments to stop people knocking on our door. I have no money! I'm on uc and trying to save for a depoist as he debt says up all his money and he cant save. Now and then he can put money towards our food shop or if I ask him to go half and half on something for dc he will if he can but for the most part it's not just his lack of money but the fact that he has no initiative to get anything!

He has not once bought dc clothes or toys in her whole entire life. It was down to him we would have nothing, I'm the one who gets things done and I'm bloody over it! We currently have to live with relatives because his debt means we are unable to afford rent. Aibu to of had enough of this. It's been going on for nearly 3 years but since dc has come along I've been feeling the weight of it more.

He has no responsibility when it comes to money and finances. His debt is from drugs (before we met). I'm not one to hold the past to someone but he is still demonstrating financial irresponsible ness by buying things he cant afford in the moment because he wants to. If we had rent to pay we would be screwed

its doesnt matter if we are together or not as long as I'm under dps roof it must be a joint claim as they assume he will be supporting us financially (haha!)

This is not true. You have to show you are no longer living together as a couple. One of the ways of showing this is keeping your finances separate, not cooking or cleaning for him, separate rooms if you can etc.

Landlords are allowed to make affordability checks. england.shelter.org.uk/housing_advice/private_renting/how_landlords_and_letting_agents_check_tenants

[quote Brokeandtired3]@sjags well yes so technically it's not him however it's his parents so if I dump him I lose the house.[/quote]
Yesterday you were still together. Today you have split up but you can’t move out because you looked at one house and they said no.

What did you want to get from this post?

@WanJames

Even some Social housing now will only accept tenants who are in work…you can’t demand a landlord rents to you

england.shelter.org.uk/housing_advice/private_renting/how_to_find_landlords_who_accept_benefits

That's illegal.

Well the HA I’m under put on the bidding site that precedence will be given to those in work 🤷🏻‍♀️

@WanJames

Well the HA I’m under put on the bidding site that precedence will be given to those in work 🤷🏻‍♀️

That doesn't make it legal.

You have a choice.

Stop paying for everything!

Some people are being really harsh, but tbh you are also making poor choices after yet more poor choices. Something needs to change. You cannot afford to be buying new clothes. You cannot afford to be buying new furniture, especially for a house that isnt yours. You cannot afford to give money to the loser ex.

Keep on with the council. Make a claim for uc as a single person, following the advice from a pp. and most importantly speak to someone about what you can do to improve yours and your child’s life choices. What job did you have before having the child? What training / qualifications do you have? What qualifications could you be doing?

I put YABU why get with womone and have a child with them when they have no means to support you or your child and expect you to help them pay their debts? Get rid of him.