To want to visit this often

[Tevion28]

So ds is off to university Saturday and when I said I will come and see him every couple of weeks his reaction upset me a little as he then asked why every 2 weeks with a grin on his face saying too often he then said if its a weekend thats even worse and he simply just wants to get on with stuff.
So for those of you with kids at uni how often do you go to see them if at all us my plan too often.

@Tevion28

Ds will be 60 miles away but yes I will leave him to it but here if he needs me

Good thinking. Am I right in thinking you didn’t go away to university yourself? I think it’s hard to know what to expect if you haven’t had that experience yourself.

However posting here has put me on the right track for deffo

Howshouldibehave I would never have had the confidence to go

Once or twice a term max. But take him out for a nice meal, don't expect him to give up his whole weekend for you.

Maybe once a year when either moving in or moving out for each dd. But might not even have been that much. They didn't come home much either but social media is fantastic for keeping in touch and face timing/zooming is brilliant if they pan round the room you can see how many old pizza boxes are lying around and whether it is a cause for concern Also you can concentrate on their faces without them realising to check for weight loss/dehydration/unhappiness etc

My parents never visited me I don't think!

I did have a family friend who stayed at her family home whilst at Oxford then did post-grad at Manchester and her dad, who had retired earlier than her mum, would go up about once a fortnight to go clubbing with her. I think that was an unusual set up though and her parents were very cool (always wondered why they were friends with my mum... )

Just send him off with a big tin of cakes to share to break the ice and make friends.

Bloody hell i can't imagine the mess I will see on a camera call he is so lazy at home

We dropped ours off and they came home maybe once a term. DH goes all over the place (hobby 😉) so sometimes has lunch with them if he's in the area.

Mmm once or twice a year ....
Stayed in a hotel
Saw her during the couple days we were there but not 24/7

They sometimes stayed over when dropping off or picking up. But otherwise they didn’t visit at all! Every few weeks is far too often…

Do not visit for an entire weekend. I came home during reading weeks and breaks but having weeks-long stretches at uni without my parents around was amazing. I settled quickly, lived for me and had an amazing time..the pressure of my parents wanting to visit every fortnight would have killed that.

@DiscoGlitterBall

My mum visited twice in 3 years and once on my exchange year oh and graduation. I went home more often!

Leave him to it!

My parents once visited me at uni in three years... and that was to pick me up when I was so sick that with hindsight my housemates or I should have called a cab or ambulance to take me to hospital. I was only 50 miles away from home.

Every 2 weeks
No way
You need to take your lead from him
My elder 2 are both away
They come home but mainly for things they want to go to eg friends' birthdays or gigs eg 1 back for Transmit this weekend
I go and take them out for lunch a couple of times a term

My parents only ever came to drop me off or pick me up.

I was lucky if it was one visit a semester but I did always come home for the holidays. Did phone them a lot though.

Honestly would say once every 6 weeks is more than enough

Ah bless, I know how you feel though, DS will be off to Uni next year and I've got a few friends who have children going this year

My parents visited once in my first year and I would have liked more. Not fortnightly though, sorry OP! I feel like once every 6-8 weeks would have been nice to go for family meals and then take me food shopping

when I said I will come and see him every couple of weeks
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, !

When you had children, you must have known they would grow up and become independent adults at the end of their teens.

Back off.

Unless this is one big joke.

My parents never visited me at uni. They dropped me off at the start of the first year and came up for graduation. No one else's parents visited either. That was 20years ago though so maybe it's changed.

We haven't been to see our son at uni but he comes home. No set pattern of when. He Skypes us up to four times a week, we message every day. He is now third year placement so only an hour away and he's been home at least 3-4 times since he went. Every two weeks is ridiculous.

Let him choose how much he comes home, my parents came once a year ( I was a flight away) but I came home a lot because I wanted too, not because it was being enforced on me. I still go home a lot because I want too. Let him live his life, he’ll reach out when he’s ready. It’s time to let him go a bit

Mine were at uni 40 miles away. I'd go up every three weeks or so and take them to the supermarket to stock up and then take them for a meal.

I didn't go into the flats if I could help it!

I think my mum and dad might have visited three or four times in three years & usually because they were in the city for another reason so would meet me for a coffee or dinner). I usually went home or to visit a sibling at reading week (half term) and was home at Christmas & easter, and a bit in summer too.