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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Son not home yet, phone off/out of charge AIBU to be worried

185 replies

FuchMyLife · 09/09/2021 02:32

Please tell me I'm being unreasonable 😣

My 21 yr old has gone drinking with mates in a neighbouring town and I was meant to pick him up from the train station at some point last night but he's not replied to any of my messages and now his phone is dead

Don't think he knows any of the guys well enough to sleep at their place so am worried he's sleeping on the street somewhere

Not sure what to do

OP posts:
IHateCoronavirus · 09/09/2021 02:35

He’s more than likely ok, if the night was going well he’s probably extended it, but as a mother I’d be worried too.
Can you go for a drive around neighbouring town in case you spot him?

Justmuddlingalong · 09/09/2021 02:36

If they've all been out together, I'm sure one of them will let him sleep at theirs.

PersonaNonGarter · 09/09/2021 02:37

Aw OP it’s so incredibly unlikely that this is anything other than getting drunk and crashing at a mates house.

They probably got stuck into a game and some beers and he’s passed out or similar.

I understand why you’re worried but honestly it will be fine.

Original poster
FuchMyLife · 09/09/2021 02:37

I did think of that but literally have no idea where he was going (pub crawl so they could be anywhere)

OP posts:
Original poster
FuchMyLife · 09/09/2021 02:38

Thanks for the kind words, I'm a terrible worry wart

OP posts:
MinnieJackson · 09/09/2021 03:19

Is he back yet OP?

AnyFucker · 09/09/2021 03:29

Any news ?

emlouwat · 09/09/2021 03:56

Did he read any of the messages?

ImFree2doasiwant · 09/09/2021 04:03

I hope he's back safe and sound OP. Its likely he's crashed out at a friends house if not. Yanbu to be worried though.

EmmaGrundyForPM · 09/09/2021 04:18

I'm sure he's OK. When I read your title I thought your ds was going to be 16. He's 21, probably pissed and asleep at a mates house.

Ds2 is away at uni, I have no idea where he is at any point and he rarely replies to messages.

Hopefully your ds will be in touch in the morning.

Original poster
FuchMyLife · 09/09/2021 04:33

Still not home 😣
He was last online at about 1am and has read my message but still no word from him

I really do hope he's passed out on someone's couch and trying very hard not to let my mind stray into worse scenarios

Cross fingers he'll borrow someone's charger when he's up or catch the next train/bus when they start running again

Might have to get police involved if I don't here from him but 10am

OP posts:
Original poster
FuchMyLife · 09/09/2021 04:33

Think 1am is roughly when his phone died

OP posts:
Original poster
FuchMyLife · 09/09/2021 04:36

@EmmaGrundyForPM in a way it night have been easier if my DS lived away from home (I might be less stressed)

I definitely need to let go and stop catastrophising things

OP posts:
crazeekat · 09/09/2021 04:42

I'm pretty positive he would have as everyone else says ended up at someone's house, having a good night, met some
Girls or guys and phone is dead with no charger. He will come in this morning with his sheepish excuse and maybe a wee love bite on his neck that's he's trying to desperately hide from u Winkbut I understand how u are worrying too, people
These days don't remember by heart
Folks phone
Numbers any more, if u know any
Of the guys he is out with them maybe leave a message on one of their facebook or Instagram etc, saying to just let u know
He's still with you but not a bit worry txt that they will make
Fun of him for, streetcred and all that image to keep stuff haha x I hope he's in touch soon xxx

AngelDelightUk · 09/09/2021 04:48

Hope you hear from him soon

adeleh · 09/09/2021 04:49

God, it’s awful waiting for them to make contact, isn’t it? I was on the verge of panic with my son a few weeks ago and then he sauntered in, right as rain, explaining that his phone had broken. I hope you hear soon. xx

Bagelsandbrie · 09/09/2021 06:49

I’m sure he can manage. He can always get a taxi home / a hotel room somewhere etc surely…? That’s what my 18 year old dd does if she and her friends get stranded somewhere. (We live rurally and a taxi home is £50 but if they need to get one from the city 25 miles away they will). He’s 21 I’m sure he will cope. Grin

Comedycook · 09/09/2021 06:53

I'm sure all is well op...most likely he had a few too many and stayed at a friends. He probably sleeping it off. Hope you hear from him soon so you can relax.

userxx · 09/09/2021 06:54

I'm sure he'll be rocking up very soon with a monumental hangover. Get the paracetamol ready!

Teacupsandtoast · 09/09/2021 06:55

He'll be fine. He's either on the floor at a mates or is in bed with someone....and he's not going to phone and let mum get in the way of sex!

lannistunut · 09/09/2021 06:55

I hope you hear from him soon. It isn't ok for him to not contact you at all, just politeness to say 'am staying with x' if you're not going to get back.

ShingleBeach · 09/09/2021 07:12

There are any number of explanations as to why a 21 year old stays out all night before you get to anything worrying.

Gone clubbing (they are open all night) , went back to someone’s house (young people know each other well enough to crash if they have spent the evening together!).

It isn’t good if he told you he would contact you about a lift, and he should drop you a message if he is not coming back. But 21 year olds out all night is hardly headline news.

But I know you never stop worrying about them.

UndertheCedartree · 09/09/2021 07:17

I hope you hear from him soon. All sorts of reasons he isn't home yet but if course it's natural for you to worry.

ponyexpress22 · 09/09/2021 07:23

Hope he's home now Op. If only kids knew the worry they cause us.

Wole · 09/09/2021 07:24

I hope your son gets in touch this morning Flowers