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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To refuse to go to his big do tonight?

210 replies

FrogDoYoda · 08/09/2021 15:25

Fuming with eyebrowless DP. He moved in with me a few months back and lost his job (company went bankrupt) a few weeks later. He said he was actively looking for another job but whenever I come in from work he’s either browsing car forums or playing computer games. He does fuck all around the house.
Anyway he asked me if id go to this work do with him tonight, I initially declined as I won’t know anyone and I suffer with social anxiety, plus I’ll be tired from work. He begged, saying it was so important, he couldn’t possibly go alone as all couples will be there, made me feel really guilty so eventually I agreed but told him I wanted some things doing around the house while I’m at work.

  1. Take some of his junk to the tip rather than leaving it piled up in the spare bedroom which I’m waiting to decorate
  2. Cut the grass
  3. Paint the white woodwork downstairs (doors and skirting boards!).

He agreed.
Monday I got home work work and he’d done fuck all. He said he couldn’t go to tip as he needed to sort the stuff out first. He couldn’t cut the grass as it was wet (it wouldn’t have been after lunch time) and he couldn’t paint the woodwork as it needed cleaning first. I was fuming. I had it out with him, he said he’d do it all on Tuesday.
Yesterday I got home from work and he’d done fuck all. He said he’d started sorting his junk out but needed some bin bags. It was too hot to cut the grass and he couldn’t paint as it was too hot in the house.

I told him if it wasn’t done today I wouldn’t be going tonight. He agreed.

I’ve just got home from work and he hasn’t been to tip but said he’d ordered bin bags off Amazon (we live 2 minutes away from asda). He couldn’t do the grass as his hayfever was playing up and he has decided there is too much white wood work so we should hire a painter/decorator!!!! Bare in mind he has no fucking money so has decided I should just pay for one!

Oh but he said he’s done the pots. I went in kitchen to find that he’d put a few plates in the dishwasher, left pans all over the oven and hadn’t even turned the dishwasher on.

So I said not to worry, it’s fine. I’ll do it. He smiled and said “thank you, anything you don’t get done I’ll help you with at weekend”. So I said it would all be done by tomorrow as I’ll be doing it tonight. Won’t have time to go to the do though unfortunately! Well he’s gone off in a massive strop, saying I’m been ridiculous, he’s gone to drag the lawn mower out making a fuss and slamming stuff around saying I have to go as I promised. He’s now cutting the grass with a face like a slapped arse. I’m still not going.
AIBU? It’s very last minute but I’m livid.

OP posts:
MrsScrubbithatescleaning · 08/09/2021 18:22

Goodness, what the hell are you doing living with this prick, get rid of him. He won’t improve!

My DH sanded and painted 2 large sets of metal gates at the week-end, plus doing the normal weekend household jobs. He doesn’t sit down to relax until after 9pm, 7 days a week. Because he’s a responsible adult and not a lazy twat.

minionsrule · 08/09/2021 18:37

For people confused about the works do when he doesn't work there/company gone bankrupt, not sure why its raising so many eyebrows 😃.
If they've gone bankrupt everyone will have left so its basically a goodbye piss up for all the ex staff (not a freebie), pay your own way. Lots won't see each other again
We all had one when my last company went into administration.
That said I wouldn't have thought partners were a must (or even welcome) so that bit is strange

knittingaddict · 08/09/2021 18:43

@minionsrule

For people confused about the works do when he doesn't work there/company gone bankrupt, not sure why its raising so many eyebrows 😃. If they've gone bankrupt everyone will have left so its basically a goodbye piss up for all the ex staff (not a freebie), pay your own way. Lots won't see each other again We all had one when my last company went into administration. That said I wouldn't have thought partners were a must (or even welcome) so that bit is strange
But the op said that her partner said the BIG DO was important. Why would a piss up after bankruptcy be important?
LannieDuck · 08/09/2021 18:51

The fact he hadn't even washed up, and yet still mentioned it as a 'tick' in his column would be the end for me. Not only did had he made no effort with the 'extra' jobs he'd promised to do, but it sounds like he doesn't pull his weight with the routine chores either.

If he's off work at the moment and you're FT, he should be doing all the housework during Mon-Fri.

whynotwhatknot · 08/09/2021 19:00

He sounds like a useless twat

with or without eyebrows

notanotherjacketpotato · 08/09/2021 19:05

It's important for closure for everyone, networking for future opportunities... I don't think it's that weird

OnceTheyDid · 08/09/2021 19:20

Send him off to the do with his suitcases packed. Seriously OP. Get rid of the lazy cocklodger.

PeriWrinkles · 08/09/2021 19:20

Did he use depilation cream instead of facewash?

Aprilx · 08/09/2021 19:22

So many questions but the most pressing one is what does “snapped and farted” mean?

mumoflittlemice · 08/09/2021 19:39

OP is at the big do aren’t they? 🤔 😂

VinylCafe · 08/09/2021 19:47

@myotherusernameistaken

Eyebrowless?

Zomg.

What is it with everyone today?

GrinGrinGrinGrinGrinGrinGrinGrinGrin

HurryUpAndWait23 · 08/09/2021 20:21

This is another attempt at 'snapped and farted' isn't it?

That was a 1/10 for effort, as is this.

Howshouldibehave · 08/09/2021 20:28

I presume he wants you to buy his drinks.

Are you the designated driver as well?!

Any update, @FrogDoYoda?

heidbuttsupper · 08/09/2021 20:32

@VinylCafe Zomg what eveb was that!

isthismylifenow · 08/09/2021 20:42

Is he blonde? Or just a minimalist in the eyebrow region.

It is then slightly less annoying than my ex, who kept doing this wtf look and all I could see were his bloody eyebrows moving about. I wished he was eyebrow less.

Anyway, I know it misses the point. You wanna show him the door.

TwinsandTrifle · 08/09/2021 21:32

OP is at the very important do, for a defunct bankrupt company that her partner doesn't even work for. Her in her little black dress, him in his suit, and only one pair of eyebrows between them.

Seashore2018 · 08/09/2021 21:52

Snapped and farted

knittingaddict · 08/09/2021 22:06

@Seashore2018

No, still confused.

Anyone care to give a simple explanation in plain English?

This sort of "cleverness" makes me roll my eyes so hard.

Seashore2018 · 08/09/2021 22:14

The snapped and farted poster had a situation that she wanted advice on, but she threw in 'snapped and farted' and that was all anyone could focus on. And she took her sweet time coming back to explain it. Here, OP wants advice on her situation but many of us couldn't get past the eyebrowlessness. And it took a while to get the explanation.

notanotherjacketpotato · 08/09/2021 22:19

@knittingaddict the poster was pissed off with her husband, told the story of how she argued with him then "snapped and farted" everyone thought it was a typo but turned out she had IBS and actually did snap and fart.

Tangledtresses · 08/09/2021 23:35

@DressBitch

1) where are his eyebrows and why weren't they mentioned again?
  1. how does he have a work do but no job?

  2. why the fuck are you putting up with this shit?

GrinGrinGrin
QueenBee52 · 08/09/2021 23:36

is this real .... 😳

VinylCafe · 09/09/2021 01:06

[quote heidbuttsupper]@VinylCafe Zomg what eveb was that![/quote]

That was featured on another thread.

ItsNotMeAnymore · 09/09/2021 01:25

What is the point of him. I'd rather be single

LadyLaSnack · 09/09/2021 01:43

LTEyebrowlessB