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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To refuse to go to his big do tonight?

210 replies

FrogDoYoda · 08/09/2021 15:25

Fuming with eyebrowless DP. He moved in with me a few months back and lost his job (company went bankrupt) a few weeks later. He said he was actively looking for another job but whenever I come in from work he’s either browsing car forums or playing computer games. He does fuck all around the house.
Anyway he asked me if id go to this work do with him tonight, I initially declined as I won’t know anyone and I suffer with social anxiety, plus I’ll be tired from work. He begged, saying it was so important, he couldn’t possibly go alone as all couples will be there, made me feel really guilty so eventually I agreed but told him I wanted some things doing around the house while I’m at work.

  1. Take some of his junk to the tip rather than leaving it piled up in the spare bedroom which I’m waiting to decorate
  2. Cut the grass
  3. Paint the white woodwork downstairs (doors and skirting boards!).

He agreed.
Monday I got home work work and he’d done fuck all. He said he couldn’t go to tip as he needed to sort the stuff out first. He couldn’t cut the grass as it was wet (it wouldn’t have been after lunch time) and he couldn’t paint the woodwork as it needed cleaning first. I was fuming. I had it out with him, he said he’d do it all on Tuesday.
Yesterday I got home from work and he’d done fuck all. He said he’d started sorting his junk out but needed some bin bags. It was too hot to cut the grass and he couldn’t paint as it was too hot in the house.

I told him if it wasn’t done today I wouldn’t be going tonight. He agreed.

I’ve just got home from work and he hasn’t been to tip but said he’d ordered bin bags off Amazon (we live 2 minutes away from asda). He couldn’t do the grass as his hayfever was playing up and he has decided there is too much white wood work so we should hire a painter/decorator!!!! Bare in mind he has no fucking money so has decided I should just pay for one!

Oh but he said he’s done the pots. I went in kitchen to find that he’d put a few plates in the dishwasher, left pans all over the oven and hadn’t even turned the dishwasher on.

So I said not to worry, it’s fine. I’ll do it. He smiled and said “thank you, anything you don’t get done I’ll help you with at weekend”. So I said it would all be done by tomorrow as I’ll be doing it tonight. Won’t have time to go to the do though unfortunately! Well he’s gone off in a massive strop, saying I’m been ridiculous, he’s gone to drag the lawn mower out making a fuss and slamming stuff around saying I have to go as I promised. He’s now cutting the grass with a face like a slapped arse. I’m still not going.
AIBU? It’s very last minute but I’m livid.

OP posts:
Sunshineandflipflops · 08/09/2021 15:41

If I was living at someone else house but unable to contribute financially, I would be doing everything I could do help in other ways until I could contribute. Laziness is a massive turn off.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 08/09/2021 15:41

Btw you had me at ordered bin liners from
Amazon

FrankButchersDickieBow · 08/09/2021 15:43

Please tell us what happened to his eyebrows! 🤨

user1493494961 · 08/09/2021 15:44

I'd tell him to use the bin bags for the rest of his stuff and kick him out.

AramintaLee · 08/09/2021 15:45

I'm here for the eyebrows update...

potter5 · 08/09/2021 15:45

Eyebrows????? Tell us more!

Shoxfordian · 08/09/2021 15:46

How did he lose his eyebrows?

Yanbu but it is pretty hot to be doing jobs tbh
I would expect my partner to come to stuff with me as well so I’d be upset if he didn’t

AryaStarkWolf · 08/09/2021 15:46

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

The opening post raises further questions for sure Grin

Eyebrows?
Work do thrown by a bankrupt company?
Screw the event - ditch him for his general lazy arsedness.

Raises eyebrows do you mean Grin
billy1966 · 08/09/2021 15:46

Well clearly you must be absolutely desperate to have moved such a waster into your home.🙄

RiverSkater · 08/09/2021 15:47

Just bin him, it won't get any better, they NEVER do.

citycitycity · 08/09/2021 15:48

When the bin bags turn up put all his stuff in them and kick him out

Brollypackedforscottishholiday · 08/09/2021 15:49

Maybe he is going to cut out some fake ones from the bin liners?

MumW · 08/09/2021 15:49

He's shown you that he's a lazy cocklodger. If this is how he is in the 'honeymoon' of living together then it real doesn't bode well - throw him out, it'll only get worse.

Confused102 · 08/09/2021 15:50

Well clearly you must be absolutely desperate to have moved suc0h a waster into your home.🙄

This. Op how do you not have any self awareness with your huge complaint list about him, yet you are the one choosing to be with him?

Flickeringgreenlight · 08/09/2021 15:51

@FrogDoYoda

6 white doors doors downstairs. 5 rooms of skirting boards. I said I’d do the banister at weekend
That in one day??? 😂😂😂
TwinsandTrifle · 08/09/2021 15:51

Here for the brows.

FrogDoYoda · 08/09/2021 15:52

I didn’t expect it done in one day but her could have made a start. For example done both sides of the living room door and the living room skirting boards

OP posts:
Seashore2018 · 08/09/2021 15:53

This is like snapped and farted. Everyone wants to know about the eyebrows but OP only answers the much less interesting questions.

CatherineCawood · 08/09/2021 15:53

Get rid. Seriously. I would be furious.

Porridgealert · 08/09/2021 15:54

"Hope you ordered a lot of bin bags. Youre going to need them for your clothes."

FrogDoYoda · 08/09/2021 15:54

I was angry when I posted and have just got in from work, the eyebrows thing was just an insult thrown out in rage.

OP posts:
NavigationCentral · 08/09/2021 15:54

This is an attempt by the OP to do a "snapped and farted".

The attempt fails.

Aquamarine1029 · 08/09/2021 15:55

Why haven't you sent him packing yet? Are your standards really this low? Get rid of the useless cocklodger.

Crazycrazylady · 08/09/2021 15:55

Why on earth are you with this cocklodger.

Brollypackedforscottishholiday · 08/09/2021 15:56

Well when the bin bags arrive he can get packing!!

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