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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To refuse to go to his big do tonight?

210 replies

FrogDoYoda · 08/09/2021 15:25

Fuming with eyebrowless DP. He moved in with me a few months back and lost his job (company went bankrupt) a few weeks later. He said he was actively looking for another job but whenever I come in from work he’s either browsing car forums or playing computer games. He does fuck all around the house.
Anyway he asked me if id go to this work do with him tonight, I initially declined as I won’t know anyone and I suffer with social anxiety, plus I’ll be tired from work. He begged, saying it was so important, he couldn’t possibly go alone as all couples will be there, made me feel really guilty so eventually I agreed but told him I wanted some things doing around the house while I’m at work.

  1. Take some of his junk to the tip rather than leaving it piled up in the spare bedroom which I’m waiting to decorate
  2. Cut the grass
  3. Paint the white woodwork downstairs (doors and skirting boards!).

He agreed.
Monday I got home work work and he’d done fuck all. He said he couldn’t go to tip as he needed to sort the stuff out first. He couldn’t cut the grass as it was wet (it wouldn’t have been after lunch time) and he couldn’t paint the woodwork as it needed cleaning first. I was fuming. I had it out with him, he said he’d do it all on Tuesday.
Yesterday I got home from work and he’d done fuck all. He said he’d started sorting his junk out but needed some bin bags. It was too hot to cut the grass and he couldn’t paint as it was too hot in the house.

I told him if it wasn’t done today I wouldn’t be going tonight. He agreed.

I’ve just got home from work and he hasn’t been to tip but said he’d ordered bin bags off Amazon (we live 2 minutes away from asda). He couldn’t do the grass as his hayfever was playing up and he has decided there is too much white wood work so we should hire a painter/decorator!!!! Bare in mind he has no fucking money so has decided I should just pay for one!

Oh but he said he’s done the pots. I went in kitchen to find that he’d put a few plates in the dishwasher, left pans all over the oven and hadn’t even turned the dishwasher on.

So I said not to worry, it’s fine. I’ll do it. He smiled and said “thank you, anything you don’t get done I’ll help you with at weekend”. So I said it would all be done by tomorrow as I’ll be doing it tonight. Won’t have time to go to the do though unfortunately! Well he’s gone off in a massive strop, saying I’m been ridiculous, he’s gone to drag the lawn mower out making a fuss and slamming stuff around saying I have to go as I promised. He’s now cutting the grass with a face like a slapped arse. I’m still not going.
AIBU? It’s very last minute but I’m livid.

OP posts:
0DimSumMum0 · 09/09/2021 02:27

This must be like living with a child surely? You sound like his mum!

knittingaddict · 09/09/2021 06:30

Thanks for the explanations. So it's not a stupid deliberate game, just a comparison to another thread?

Don't think the op is ever coming back to this one, for obvious reasons.

SunLovingMum · 09/09/2021 07:26

I’m sure he wanted you to go to pay his way at the work do.

He needs to leave. Tell him so.

bigbaggyeyes · 09/09/2021 07:50

So he moved in a few months ago and has lost his job. Don't suppose he knew the company was going to go pop when he moved in did he?

He sounds like a lazy fucker, all of your jobs could have been down in the last few days, especially if he's been at home all this time. Did you go out in the end?

takehomepay · 09/09/2021 08:16

You have a lazy cocklodger on your hands.

Dump him now or you will still be doing all housework and paying for him in a few years time.

JackieWeaverHandforthCouncil · 09/09/2021 08:28

I said YABU because you’re still with him. He’s useless but instead of leaving him you’re on here moaning. You remind me of a friend who’s got a useless partner. She puts up with all kinds and moans constantly then says ‘why are men so shit’. I tell her point blank that it’s her man not all of them. If you’re prepared to put up with all of this over and over again then just do so but don’t complain about it.

TopBlogger · 09/09/2021 08:55

@FrogDoYoda??

middlingmess · 09/09/2021 10:57

@user1493494961

I'd tell him to use the bin bags for the rest of his stuff and kick him out.
Grin definitely this!

Why do you want this waste of space in your life?
Does he have a golden cock?

middlingmess · 09/09/2021 10:59

@Hidehi4

He is probably only needing you to go so you can buy his drinks
And drive him home I imagine
DirtyNumbAngel · 09/09/2021 12:06

Does he look like a shocked egg?

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