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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To refuse to go to his big do tonight?

210 replies

FrogDoYoda · 08/09/2021 15:25

Fuming with eyebrowless DP. He moved in with me a few months back and lost his job (company went bankrupt) a few weeks later. He said he was actively looking for another job but whenever I come in from work he’s either browsing car forums or playing computer games. He does fuck all around the house.
Anyway he asked me if id go to this work do with him tonight, I initially declined as I won’t know anyone and I suffer with social anxiety, plus I’ll be tired from work. He begged, saying it was so important, he couldn’t possibly go alone as all couples will be there, made me feel really guilty so eventually I agreed but told him I wanted some things doing around the house while I’m at work.

  1. Take some of his junk to the tip rather than leaving it piled up in the spare bedroom which I’m waiting to decorate
  2. Cut the grass
  3. Paint the white woodwork downstairs (doors and skirting boards!).

He agreed.
Monday I got home work work and he’d done fuck all. He said he couldn’t go to tip as he needed to sort the stuff out first. He couldn’t cut the grass as it was wet (it wouldn’t have been after lunch time) and he couldn’t paint the woodwork as it needed cleaning first. I was fuming. I had it out with him, he said he’d do it all on Tuesday.
Yesterday I got home from work and he’d done fuck all. He said he’d started sorting his junk out but needed some bin bags. It was too hot to cut the grass and he couldn’t paint as it was too hot in the house.

I told him if it wasn’t done today I wouldn’t be going tonight. He agreed.

I’ve just got home from work and he hasn’t been to tip but said he’d ordered bin bags off Amazon (we live 2 minutes away from asda). He couldn’t do the grass as his hayfever was playing up and he has decided there is too much white wood work so we should hire a painter/decorator!!!! Bare in mind he has no fucking money so has decided I should just pay for one!

Oh but he said he’s done the pots. I went in kitchen to find that he’d put a few plates in the dishwasher, left pans all over the oven and hadn’t even turned the dishwasher on.

So I said not to worry, it’s fine. I’ll do it. He smiled and said “thank you, anything you don’t get done I’ll help you with at weekend”. So I said it would all be done by tomorrow as I’ll be doing it tonight. Won’t have time to go to the do though unfortunately! Well he’s gone off in a massive strop, saying I’m been ridiculous, he’s gone to drag the lawn mower out making a fuss and slamming stuff around saying I have to go as I promised. He’s now cutting the grass with a face like a slapped arse. I’m still not going.
AIBU? It’s very last minute but I’m livid.

OP posts:
Brollypackedforscottishholiday · 08/09/2021 15:27

Urgh so disappointed..
Came on for an Eyebrow Misfortune Catastrophe ...
And get a typical slothsome lazy fucker thread....

FrangipaniBlue · 08/09/2021 15:27

I'm confused, how does he have a work done if he lost his job and hasn't been looking for a new one Confused

justthecat · 08/09/2021 15:28

Good for you ! Lazy git, make sure you put your feet up tonight

DressBitch · 08/09/2021 15:29
  1. where are his eyebrows and why weren't they mentioned again?

  2. how does he have a work do but no job?

  3. why the fuck are you putting up with this shit?

FrogDoYoda · 08/09/2021 15:29

@FrangipaniBlue

I'm confused, how does he have a work done if he lost his job and hasn't been looking for a new one Confused
It’s a final do from the job he did have
OP posts:
Bloodypunkrockers · 08/09/2021 15:30

Eyebrows?

He sounds like a lazy arse. I wouldn't be going either

girlmom21 · 08/09/2021 15:30

What happened to his eyebrows?

user1471457751 · 08/09/2021 15:30

Whose work do is it if he lost his job?
You need to kick his lazy arse right back out, he has no respect for you

Worldgonecrazy · 08/09/2021 15:30

Eugggh. He sounds like a real catch.

I think if you give in to his lazy and childish behaviour then you will have set the standards and expectations for the rest of your time together.

Respect yourself because he doesn’t.

AryaStarkWolf · 08/09/2021 15:30

@FrangipaniBlue

I'm confused, how does he have a work done if he lost his job and hasn't been looking for a new one Confused
I wondered this, also why doesn't he have eyebrows?
AmelieLovesAutumn · 08/09/2021 15:31

If you've any sense you'll send the lazy twat back where he came from! Or anywhere that'll take him! He will NOT change! Do you really want to spend your life like this?
And that's before children!!!

EL8888 · 08/09/2021 15:32

YANBU. I would also give the wannabe cocklodger his marching orders

JustHereWithMyPopcorn · 08/09/2021 15:33

Do not go.

FrogDoYoda · 08/09/2021 15:34

6 white doors doors downstairs. 5 rooms of skirting boards. I said I’d do the banister at weekend

OP posts:
SpnBaby1967 · 08/09/2021 15:34

I need to know where his eyebrows went!

How does he have a work do if he doesnt work?

kaleidoscopeheartless · 08/09/2021 15:35

OP it's more than just him not doing jobs. What do you get out of this relationship?

FangsForTheMemory · 08/09/2021 15:35

He's lying about the hayfever. The grass pollen season finishes at the end of JULY.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 08/09/2021 15:36

The first time if be a annoyed with him being so lazy... After 3.days and the comment about decorator, I'd be binning him...

What does he add to your life??

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 08/09/2021 15:36

The opening post raises further questions for sure Grin

Eyebrows?
Work do thrown by a bankrupt company?
Screw the event - ditch him for his general lazy arsedness.

LittleOwl153 · 08/09/2021 15:37

Get rid. Youd have more time to do the required jobs if you didn't have to sort out this useless waste of space. Next thing he'll be wanting a baby and to become a stay at home dad - except he'll also expect you to pay for nursery whilst you're at work as looking after a baby is a big job - he might help on the weekend though...

NormanStangerson · 08/09/2021 15:38

Also confused by the eyebrows thing but may I suggest you pretend you’ll attend this ‘do’, tell him he’s got something on his face and beckon him over, quickly use a Sharpie marker to draw eyebrows on him like Ming the Merciless, kick him out the front door and get the locks changed while he’s out.

To refuse to go to his big do tonight?
SimonedeBeauvoirscat · 08/09/2021 15:38

Eyebrows ???????!!!! I suspect it’s an autocorrect error but it’s still hilarious. What happened to his eyebrows?!

minimecantrollerskate · 08/09/2021 15:38

How can a bankrupt company throw a work do? They don't have any money?

Also, where did the eyebrows go?

and no YANBU to refuse to go. He can strop as much as he likes about you promising, your response is, well you promised to do XYZ and 3 days later haven't managed any of it.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 08/09/2021 15:39

Does he believe that this do will be a networking one and may help him get another job? That’s the only reason I’d go after what you’d described.

FatOaf · 08/09/2021 15:39

How is a bankrupt company having a "do", and why would it be important for him to go?

What do his eyebrows have to do with it? Did he lose them in an accident at work?