To feel sad my looks are fading

[Losinglooks21]

Name changed for this, I know Aibu but just feel so sad that in every photo anyone takes of me I look awful. I am now 42, feel like I have progressively aged over the last two years (maybe covid/ lockdown related). Does it ever get better in your mid forties or should I just hide from the camera forever more?

Maybe your are growing into your next phase? Whenever I look back I was far better looking than I thought I was. I think we all are, as we have a history and a past that makes us who we are,

I'm 50 and look better now than when i was 40. I think maybe you're being hard on yourself. Have you tried changing your makeup style? Your hair? Maybe your just stuck in a rut?? I'm sure you look better than you think

I am 39 and had this conversation the other day.

I know lots of people who feel they have visibly aged during the pandemic.

I know for me, its because I have fallen into bad habits. I used to always have a bottle of water with me. I realised I rarely drink water now the kettle is close by and drink loads of tea and coffee.

I am less active and haven't been doing alot of the things that I used to look after myself. So it could be, in part, that.

I have started working the good habits back in. But we can't put off aging forever. Is there anything you could do to give yourself a boost?

Take up a hobby? Do you exercise? Even something a small as a new outfit or getting your hair done or hair colour change, may give you a small boost while you come to terms with it.

Also, I find make up, hair colour, clothes colour and style needs to change as we get older. If you wear make up an update may help.

Sorry if non if my advice will work for you.

I started botox over the pandemic and it is effecrive. Im 43...shame it wears off and is so frickin expensive!

Looking awful is nothing to do with your age. You can look great at any age. Just look at women like Helen Mirren, or Instagram influencers like Linda Rodin and TraysLounge. Perhaps you’ve just let yourself go a bit and need a makeover?

Thank you all replying all. I do exercise but not as much as I used to. Drinking water is a huge thing and great advice as I know I don’t drink enough. Could be eating better too. Since all the lockdowns it’s like I know all this stuff but can’t be arsed. Just hearing it on this thread Has made me realise I need to kick myself into shape a bit . Will definitely try some new make up as actually just been using an old foundation I bought years ago and found in the back of my drawer 🤦🏻‍♀️ . Then I wonder why I look shocking in photos 🤣🤦🏻‍♀️

@Blueleah yes you are right, will check these influencer accounts for inspiration

I am early 50s. I don't think it gets better because menopause hits and then overnight it is over.

There are lots of things you can do to your diet, figure, hair, clothes to improve. But you have to accept you cannot compete with a 20-30 something hottie anymore.

There is something liberating about not having the male gaze.

I do know what you mean about photos. I don't like to have photos taken of me (selfies are horrendous) and don't look at my reflection when outside the house. I don't like to be reminded

Also take more pictures then you are more likely to get more ones that look closer to how you think you do!

Definitely go and buy some new makeup. Drink more water and use moisturiser. Tahr a pic tomorrow and then in a weeks time. Cut down on sugar too

@malificent7 if you go down the Botox route how much would say it costs per treatment and how long does it last for?

A years old foundation that probably doesn't suit (colour or skin type) will definitely age you.

As pp says there's benefits to aging too.

In terms of makeup, I find if I draw in my eyebrows with a pencil and use some eyeliner, it takes years off. As I aged, my eyebrows got thinner so I can looks very washed out, like Voldemort, and haggard as a result.

Pencilling in the brows make all the difference.

@Hekatestorch

I am 39 and had this conversation the other day.

I know lots of people who feel they have visibly aged during the pandemic.

I know for me, its because I have fallen into bad habits. I used to always have a bottle of water with me. I realised I rarely drink water now the kettle is close by and drink loads of tea and coffee.

I am less active and haven't been doing alot of the things that I used to look after myself. So it could be, in part, that.

I have started working the good habits back in. But we can't put off aging forever. Is there anything you could do to give yourself a boost?

Take up a hobby? Do you exercise? Even something a small as a new outfit or getting your hair done or hair colour change, may give you a small boost while you come to terms with it.

Also, I find make up, hair colour, clothes colour and style needs to change as we get older. If you wear make up an update may help.

Sorry if non if my advice will work for you.

I think a lot of people have really let their hair go over the last 18 months. Some have allowed their hair to grow long or go grey both of which can be very ageing.

[quote Losinglooks21]@malificent7 if you go down the Botox route how much would say it costs per treatment and how long does it last for?[/quote]
I haven't had it for a few years.

But I paid £220 (I am in yorkshire) 4 years ago for 3 areas. Between my eyebrows. My forehead. And for crows feet.

It last about 4-5 months. I was told if you keep up to it, it last longer. But I stopped during to money.

I am considering doing it again though. It's not in everyone budget, but if you can afford it and want to do it, I would say its worth ago.

@blueshoes all great advice thank you. Definitely not missing the male gaze just hate my three chins in selfies 🤣

Thank you all for your posts, already feeling better and realise there’s loads I can do to help myself:
-Will go out tomorrow and buy some new make up.
-Get one of those water bottles that tells you how much water you have drunk
-Make sure I up my veg/ fruit

• book in for a hair cut

I need to stop seeing myself as my 30 year old self in my minds eye too, will stop avoiding the camera so I can start to see a difference and accept myself in this new phase of life 😬

I’m 59 single and feel invisible despite good skin, nice hair and reasonable figure.
Sure lots you can do, confidence is good too

I find older women beautiful. You are not invisible.
What's wrong with ageing? Whilst we should look after ourselves, we should also embrace the lines and grey hair etc.

Also check our IconAccidental, GreceGhanem, MSorrig - all older ladies on Instagram who look great. And HotPatooties is early 40s ish and always looks fabulous. You won’t look the same as when you were young but you can still look amazing.

Almost 43 here.

Feeling the same. I was hot till I turned 42, dang it.

Oh well, accept it, make the best of what you've got, move on! And avoid mirrors is what I do

I miss getting looks from men but also very much do not. Like anything it's swings and roundabouts. Focus on the positives!

@Notashandyta you are right, what else can we do? I guess it just caught me by surprise, although obviously no one will look the same forever! This has been such a therapeutic thread!

@malificent7

I started botox over the pandemic and it is effecrive. Im 43...shame it wears off and is so frickin expensive!

Also a shame animals were tortured for each batch. Please look into what this entails.

I am mid 50’s.
I have gone through stages when I look at myself and think ☹️
These feelings usually change with a haircut, new outfit, new lipstick...
Aging is a gradual and not a straight line ...it zig zags up and down
I haven’t done Botox/fillers but periodically sorely tempted - I am going through a tempted phase at the moment!
Up until now I have rather spent money on clothes, good shoes.
Aging is a privilege denies many.

@LunaTheCat yes you are so right ageing is a privilege, such an important point.