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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To choose glastonbury over my friends wedding

789 replies

Campingcarryon · 04/09/2021 13:07

My good friend has just told me she is getting married the same weekend as glastonbury festival next year, for which I have tickets and have obviously by then waited 3 years to go, should it go ahead. I really want to go to the festival as getting tickets is incredibly hard and it’s the first time I have had tickets in 10 years. I love it there &
Post pandemic, I really want to just go and have some fun. I have a camper van so do it in a bit more luxury too.

I feel really bad but honestly I would rather go to the festival than the wedding but am I being really unreasonable? I can’t do both either as wedding is in a different part of the country. I don’t want to upset her either obviously 😬

OP posts:
everythingcrossed · 04/09/2021 13:09

Go to Glastonbury.

NoYOUbekind · 04/09/2021 13:09

As is often said on MN, it's an invitation not a summons. You can politely decline and go and do something else. Your friend will be hurt though, I think, but you're not doing anything wrong by not going to a wedding.

Myusernameisnotmyusernameno · 04/09/2021 13:11

Go to Glastonbury. If it was my wedding I would understand.

Pinkdelight3 · 04/09/2021 13:12

YANBU. So she told you and I hope you said: "Oh shit, I can't come - it's Glastonbury that weekend and I've had tickets for years waiting for it to finally happen. Really sorry, but we can celebrate your wedding another time." And she said "What a shame, but totally understand, fair enough."

That's how it should've gone/should go. If you said nothing, then I'd follow up asap with a "Shit, I've just realised that's Glastonbury weekend..." etc etc. Rip the plaster off now so there's no confusion or false expectations.

Hoppinggreen · 04/09/2021 13:13

You booked Glastonbury first so that’s where you go

Tlollj · 04/09/2021 13:13

Go to her wedding.

Original poster
Campingcarryon · 04/09/2021 13:13

It wouldn’t be such a difficult thing if I knew I could easily get glasto tickets again but they are like rocking horse shit and I might never have the chance in my life again. But obviously the wedding is a once in a lifetime thing too 🙈

OP posts:
Myneighboursnorlax · 04/09/2021 13:13

If you’d bought tickets to Glastonbury after she’d announced the date then I’d say you were being unreasonable. But an event you booked three years ago should definitely take priority. Just say straight away “oh no I already have other commitments that weekend”. Don’t leave it to the last minute to decide or she’ll wonder why you didn’t mention it sooner.

Scrunchies · 04/09/2021 13:14

Loads of my husbands best friends went to Glastonbury instead of our wedding. Slightly different in that we sent our save the dates before they bought their tickets, and they cancelled on us. I didnt care as they aren’t my friends, but I think dh was a bit upset. I think if you’ve already bought tickets that’s fair enough

Original poster
Campingcarryon · 04/09/2021 13:15

I mean it’s true I got the festival tickets first!! But had the pandemic not happened, I would have been there last year

OP posts:
IWasBornInAThunderstorm · 04/09/2021 13:15

Just say you're sorry but you've already got something planned. She might be upset but she'll get over it or she might ditch you, in which case she isn't a friend.

Tirediam · 04/09/2021 13:16

Would you lose money by not going to Glasto? And honesty depending on the friend, I’d rather a festival too

BigWhooper · 04/09/2021 13:17

You're busy that weekend ie you have a prior engagement. It would be the same as if you'd booked a holiday. Even more so really because you can hardly rearrange. It's a shame but you can't do everything.

overtherainbo · 04/09/2021 13:17

I would definitely 100% go to Glastonbury

Treecreature · 04/09/2021 13:18

Wedding without a doubt.

WIS76 · 04/09/2021 13:18

@Campingcarryon

It wouldn’t be such a difficult thing if I knew I could easily get glasto tickets again but they are like rocking horse shit and I might never have the chance in my life again. But obviously the wedding is a once in a lifetime thing too 🙈
The wedding is once in a lifetime for her! Don't give a reason just say you have plans already, it happens 💐
BritishSummertime · 04/09/2021 13:19

Prior engagement so you can decline the wedding. We didn't go to a wedding because we already had tickets to Car Fest, the couple understood

Original poster
Campingcarryon · 04/09/2021 13:19

I haven’t paid my full glasto balance yet but honestly, I really don’t want to give up my ticket!! I think this has helped me decide once and for all!

OP posts:
ItsNotMeAnymore · 04/09/2021 13:19

You can go to Glastonbury guilt free if you want. I would. I guess there may be some scope to go to the wedding if it happened to be the first day of Glastonbury and there was nothing decent on at Glastonbury

MondeoFan · 04/09/2021 13:19

Glasto as you've already bought the tickets - sorry I'm upset I can't come and it's a shame it's the same weekend but we'll have to celebrate another time. Maybe go to the hen even though you aren't going to the wedding

Original poster
Campingcarryon · 04/09/2021 13:20

@WIS76 I’ll have to tell her about glasto as she’s is really close friend!

OP posts:
tigger1001 · 04/09/2021 13:20

You've already got the tickets for Glastonbury, so for me that's where you go.

You just say sorry I will miss your wedding but I already have plans that weekend

Original poster
Campingcarryon · 04/09/2021 13:21

@ItsNotMeAnymore wedding is on the Saturday, main headliners day!

OP posts:
seaandsandcastles · 04/09/2021 13:21

I think YABU and selfish. Barring a pandemic, Glastonbury happens every year. This wedding will only happen once and she’s your friend.

IWasBornInAThunderstorm · 04/09/2021 13:22

@seaandsandcastles

I think YABU and selfish. Barring a pandemic, Glastonbury happens every year. This wedding will only happen once and she’s your friend.
She might cancel it or get divorced and have another one
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