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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To choose glastonbury over my friends wedding

789 replies

Campingcarryon · 04/09/2021 13:07

My good friend has just told me she is getting married the same weekend as glastonbury festival next year, for which I have tickets and have obviously by then waited 3 years to go, should it go ahead. I really want to go to the festival as getting tickets is incredibly hard and it’s the first time I have had tickets in 10 years. I love it there &
Post pandemic, I really want to just go and have some fun. I have a camper van so do it in a bit more luxury too.

I feel really bad but honestly I would rather go to the festival than the wedding but am I being really unreasonable? I can’t do both either as wedding is in a different part of the country. I don’t want to upset her either obviously 😬

OP posts:
thelionqwueen · 04/09/2021 14:06

If she is a very good friend, doesn’t she know already that you scored tickets to Glastonbury? Go to Glastonbury!

lemmein · 04/09/2021 14:06

No brainier - Glasto!

If she's a close friend she probably already knows you have tickets and just hasn't realised it's on the same weekend. Id actually let her know asap incase a lot of her guests are going to the festival, in which case she might prefer to move her wedding.

Gilly12345 · 04/09/2021 14:06

Go to Glastonbury if you already have the tickets and really want to go, hopefully your friend will understand.

TidyDancer · 04/09/2021 14:06

Objectively I don't blame you at all for choosing Glastonbury and I would love to be there myself! I'm not going to lie and say I wouldn't be hurt if a close friend missed my wedding for it though.

So I guess what I would do is let your friend down sensitively and asap, but be prepared there might be some hurt feelings.

caughtinanet · 04/09/2021 14:07

I have some very good friends but I literally can't imagine expecting them to cancel long held plans to attend my wedding. I'd be embarrassed to be so up myself to think they should do that

It's not like she got invited to a wedding and decided to go out shopping instead

jimmyjammy001 · 04/09/2021 14:08

Definitely goto Glastonbury!!!! Her own fault for doing it on the Glasto weekend! I know alot of my friends goto Glasto so holding it on that particular weekend nobody would attend and I wouldn't expect them to either!

londonrach · 04/09/2021 14:08

I never go to Glastonbury as my idea of hell but in op case it's her heaven and booked prior to any wedding invitation...

LittleCatDog · 04/09/2021 14:08

Are you a bridesmaid? If you're not in the bridal party then go to Glasto! I would find it difficult to turn down a wedding for a best friend / being in the bridal party. How long have you been friends? She will probably be a bit annoyed before the wedding when you tell her but it really won't affect her day at all

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 04/09/2021 14:09

YANBU do Glastonbury! It's about a million times easier to find a life partner than it is to get tickets. You never know, she might re-marry. Grin

Pleasekeeptotheright · 04/09/2021 14:09

I can't believe how many posters are saying they'd be hurt by a friend having a prior engagement that is impossible to move, expensive and likely to be once in a lifetime!

If she was that arsed then she should've checked dates before booking the wedding. OP it'll be fine. Just tell her ASAP

tttigress · 04/09/2021 14:10

I have only been to Glastonbury once, I am glad I have done it once, and ticket it off the bucket list.

But it was the year before they started getting serious about security (2001?), and there were quite a few scumbags there spoiling it for everyone. I think it is quite different now.

ADreadedSunnyDay · 04/09/2021 14:10

Go to Glasto. One of my life-long regrets that I didn't go when I had the chance ... and I no longer assume any wedding will be a once in a lifetime thing.

Whattheflecker · 04/09/2021 14:10

Chances are they're angsting about people that don't have space to invite anyway!

Be honest, but be super excited about the wedding - go on the hen and be part of the build up.

Bollindger · 04/09/2021 14:11

You tell her the truth.
Look mate, I know your going to be mad, and i understand that.
But I have already booked and paid for tickets to Glastonbury for the same date, as you just told me your wedding will be held.
Please can we do loads to celebrate before I go, and can we do a girls night out afterwards, so you can tell me all the juice details.
IF she is your friend, I can tell you she will be fine with this. If she creates then you know that she is more self centred that you thought.
IF she refuses to speak to you, then know this would have happened in the future over something else.

LargeBouquet · 04/09/2021 14:11

Glastonbury in a heartbeat. And as a pp said, doesn't your friend already know you have tickets?

dapsnotplimsolls · 04/09/2021 14:11

Definitely tell her asap or she'll know you've been dithering.

icedcoffees · 04/09/2021 14:12

@tttigress

How close is she, I that if she is your "best friend" or somewhere close to that YABU.

If she is "just" one of a group of group of friends it might be ok.

If OP is the brides' best friend and it's so important she attends, the bride should have asked OP in advance before she booked.
KatherineJaneway · 04/09/2021 14:12

@Campingcarryon

To be honest, I think I would feel really resentful too knowing I could be at glasto but instead I am at a wedding 😬
Then she clearly isn't a 'good' friend if you prefer Glastonbury to her wedding.

I wouldn't understand if it were me.

Staryflight445 · 04/09/2021 14:12

You’ve been waiting for a long time to go and have mentioned tickets are like gold dust.
Just say you’re really sorry but you’ve had glasto tickets and been waiting x amount of years to go and can’t easily get another ticket for another year and that you wish them both well.

TheRebelle · 04/09/2021 14:12

You already had the tickets before you knew the wedding date, and they’re expensive and rare tickets so as far as I’m concerned there’s no embarrassment or awkwardness about saying I’ve already got something booked in that weekend, sorry. (And sending a nice gift, if you feel inclined to)

FAQs · 04/09/2021 14:14

Are you a bridesmaid? They might put me in the fence however tickets were bought first so Glastonbury it would be.

caughtinanet · 04/09/2021 14:14

@LargeBouquet

Glastonbury in a heartbeat. And as a pp said, doesn't your friend already know you have tickets?
Is the date of Glastonbury something we're all meant to know? I'm not sure I could even tell you what month it's in

Am I missing this vital bit of life information. Will I somehow make social faux pas by planning something for that date Grin

BritishSummertime · 04/09/2021 14:14

Yes this particular wedding is a one off event, but presumably you have other friends and family who will be getting married in the future whereas it is definitely possible that you'll never go to Glastonbury again.

We declined a wedding because we had a holiday to Florida booked for the same time, using a few posters' logic on here we'd have cancelled that and gone to the wedding instead Hmm

MaudBaileysGreenTurban · 04/09/2021 14:14

So easy to spot the nightmare brides on this thread Grin

icedcoffees · 04/09/2021 14:15

Then she clearly isn't a 'good' friend if you prefer Glastonbury to her wedding.

Alternatively, the bride clearly doesn't mind too much if she didn't check with OP before setting the date.

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