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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To choose glastonbury over my friends wedding

789 replies

Campingcarryon · 04/09/2021 13:07

My good friend has just told me she is getting married the same weekend as glastonbury festival next year, for which I have tickets and have obviously by then waited 3 years to go, should it go ahead. I really want to go to the festival as getting tickets is incredibly hard and it’s the first time I have had tickets in 10 years. I love it there &
Post pandemic, I really want to just go and have some fun. I have a camper van so do it in a bit more luxury too.

I feel really bad but honestly I would rather go to the festival than the wedding but am I being really unreasonable? I can’t do both either as wedding is in a different part of the country. I don’t want to upset her either obviously 😬

OP posts:
Genegenieee · 04/09/2021 13:46

If she were a really good friend you'd want to be at the wedding as it would have more meaning to you. You want to be at Glastonbury so that indicates her wedding isn't meaningful to you.

Obv there is a risk she won't see it the same way as you as she really wants you there. OR because she doesn't feel that close to you, she won't mind.

I think it will be the latter. She's blinking lucky to get a June wedding date! She must have planned that in advance, so if she really wanted you there, she wd have told you eons ago

GarnetsandRubies · 04/09/2021 13:46

Roughly half of weddings end in divorce anyway, lol. Go to Glastonbury!

MovinOnUp · 04/09/2021 13:47

If I were your friend, I would 100% encourage you to go to Glastonbury instead.

Cornettoninja · 04/09/2021 13:47

@Aprilx

I am astonished than anyone would put a festival before a good friends wedding. It would really tell me what a low priority I am to a friend that did that.
Hmm I’d be questioning the entire friendship if someone pulled that guilt trip on me.

It works both ways, both friends have events that are very important to them, they don’t have to understand it but they should respect it.

WhiskeyNeverStartsToTasteNice · 04/09/2021 13:47

Given how expensive and difficult it is to get Glastonbury tickets, (and I'm not sure you can sell tickets to anyone else?) and given it's been delayed for last two years, go to Glastonbury. But yes, tell her ASAP. If she's a good friend, would she not have realised wedding date)Glasto were was around the same time?

MMMarmite · 04/09/2021 13:47

@LalalalalalaLand123

I am astonished than anyone would put a festival before a good friends wedding. It would really tell me what a low priority I am to a friend that did that.

100% this.

I can't imagine demanding that someone changes their pre-arranged long-awaited plans in order to come to my wedding.
Noapplejustcrumble · 04/09/2021 13:47

You can choose to go to Glastonbury, but only if you’re happy that your friendship will not be the same again. Of course it would be more enjoyable for you, but that’s not really what life is about for me or what makes me happy. For me, friendships are more important than things like Glastonbury. If it was my wedding and a close friend chose to go to a music festival rather than support me by being at my wedding, then it would change our friendship. But depends on what sort of friendship you have.

QueefofSheena · 04/09/2021 13:50

Those of you saying that a wedding is more important, it really doesn’t matter what it is. It’s something the OP has already booked for five days away. Why does she have to cancel because of a subsequently arranged wedding?

Original poster
Campingcarryon · 04/09/2021 13:50

@MyDcAreMarvel oh please, what nonsense 🙄

OP posts:
user1487194234 · 04/09/2021 13:51

Entirely your shout
Personally I would go to the wedding but I don't like upsetting people x

MaudBaileysGreenTurban · 04/09/2021 13:51

@MovinOnUp

If I were your friend, I would 100% encourage you to go to Glastonbury instead.
This.

I can't believe anyone would be self-centred enough to ask a good friend to give up tickets for an event they'd been looking forward to for 3 years, in order to attend their wedding.

MintMatchmaker · 04/09/2021 13:52

I would go to the wedding. Not because it would be the more enjoyable event but because I wouldn’t want them to feel unimportant and I can’t see how that wouldn’t be the message they would receive by choosing the festival.

TractorAndHeadphones · 04/09/2021 13:52

@Mumsgirls

If it was that important to her that you are at the wedding, she should have checked before picking a date. She did not so not your fault if you have a prior.
Exactly - you’re not in the bridal party or similar. So go without guilt! And weddings aren’t once In a lifetime anymore either….
HoldingTheDoor · 04/09/2021 13:52

100% this.*
I can't imagine demanding that someone changes their pre-arranged long-awaited plans in order to come to my wedding.*

Same here. I might be disappointed but I'd just metaphorically kick myself for not having checked with them and I certainly wouldn't expect them to give up such a big opportunity for me.

Roominmyhouse · 04/09/2021 13:52

I had this many years back, I went to Glastonbury and it didn’t impact our friendship. No one’s wedding will be ruined by one friend being missing - they’ll still have a great day without you!

leavesthataregreen · 04/09/2021 13:52

The etiquette here is that you honour the prior engagement Wink so you can legitimately say you already have long-standing plans that weekend with family or friends that can't be rescheduled and so regret you can't make it.

Sakura7 · 04/09/2021 13:53

If it's a very close friend, wedding should take precedence. I know that's not what you want to hear but I couldn't pick a festival over a close friend's wedding, and I'm actually amazed that most people here would

Buttons294749 · 04/09/2021 13:53

Do what you want but your choice does reflect on your friendship/closeness. You prefer a festival to her wedding, that's fine to make the choice but shows your priorities.

There s a couple of friends that I would move heaven and earth for to attend their weddings (and indeed have!). You can't always chose a wedding date esp seeing as everywhere is booking up so fast.

I did check with my select attendees that I really wanted there before booking so it sounds like you're not that close anyway.

Glasto tickets are not impossible to get though, I know people who go every year!

MyDcAreMarvel · 04/09/2021 13:54

@Campingcarryon if it was nonsense you would be going to the wedding.

MaudBaileysGreenTurban · 04/09/2021 13:54

If it's a very close friend, wedding should take precedence.

Why?

caughtinanet · 04/09/2021 13:55

@Treecreature

Wedding without a doubt.
Really?

Putting to one side what the OP is going to you seriously think someone should pass up something they've waited 3 years for to go to a friend's wedding?

If I was friends with a bride who thought that Id be re-thinking the friendship.

JadeSeahorse · 04/09/2021 13:56

@Brieeeeeeeeeeee

Glastonbury. It’s no different to having a holiday booked.
This!
Kolo · 04/09/2021 13:56

Would you cancel a holiday to go to a friends wedding? There were people who declined an invite to my wedding as they were on holiday. Wouldn't have occurred to me for them to ditch their holiday for my wedding!

WeRTheOnesWeHaveBeenWaitingFor · 04/09/2021 13:56

I would miss my own wedding for Glasto tickets. A true friend would understand.

NotYourCupOfTea · 04/09/2021 13:56

I was on the fence but then that’s because I’m not a festival person but surely this is like a holiday for you? You’ve booked it and got tickets so I don’t think yabu to go plus if she is a good friend she will understand what it means to you

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