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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To choose glastonbury over my friends wedding

789 replies

Campingcarryon · 04/09/2021 13:07

My good friend has just told me she is getting married the same weekend as glastonbury festival next year, for which I have tickets and have obviously by then waited 3 years to go, should it go ahead. I really want to go to the festival as getting tickets is incredibly hard and it’s the first time I have had tickets in 10 years. I love it there &
Post pandemic, I really want to just go and have some fun. I have a camper van so do it in a bit more luxury too.

I feel really bad but honestly I would rather go to the festival than the wedding but am I being really unreasonable? I can’t do both either as wedding is in a different part of the country. I don’t want to upset her either obviously 😬

OP posts:
Alconleigh · 06/09/2021 16:03

Good call OP. I'm still resentful of the time my ex insisted we go to his friends' tedious, utterly generic wedding over the Bruce Springsteen concert we had tickets for. And that's not as remotely difficult to get tickets for!

Marylou2 · 06/09/2021 16:10

I've never been to a wedding that I enjoyed more than Glastonbury,including my own. And I'm still happily married 20 years later.

AryaStarkWolf · 06/09/2021 16:20

[quote BritishSummertime]@AryaStarkWolf would you also cancel a weekend in Paris/center parcs/AN other holiday too?
Or is it because it's 'just' a festival? [/quote]
Depends on the friend, if it was a close friend I would yeah....but that's just me. I was simply saying what I would do in this situation, I'm sorry if that'd not the right answer Grin

AryaStarkWolf · 06/09/2021 16:23

What about the other 5 people you're meant to be going to glasto with? And your camper van they are meant to be sleeping in? Do you ditch them for a better offer? Would y

It's not a "better" offer as such, it's a close friends wedding, that would be priority for me. I'm sure the other people going could still go without me and pitch a tent or I would loan them the camper van. But again all i said was what I would do in this situation I never told the OP what she (or anyone else) should do, don't be angry at me Grin

RazorSharp · 06/09/2021 16:36

@Alconleigh

Good call OP. I'm still resentful of the time my ex insisted we go to his friends' tedious, utterly generic wedding over the Bruce Springsteen concert we had tickets for. And that's not as remotely difficult to get tickets for!
OMG! No wonder he's an ex, Bruce Springsteen is fucking awesome.
SleepingStandingUp · 06/09/2021 16:42

@Play8063

wtaf, go to your "close" mates wedding! ffs
Why?
SleepingStandingUp · 06/09/2021 16:45

@AryaStarkWolf

What about the other 5 people you're meant to be going to glasto with? And your camper van they are meant to be sleeping in? Do you ditch them for a better offer? Would y

It's not a "better" offer as such, it's a close friends wedding, that would be priority for me. I'm sure the other people going could still go without me and pitch a tent or I would loan them the camper van. But again all i said was what I would do in this situation I never told the OP what she (or anyone else) should do, don't be angry at me Grin

How is it ok to let 5 people down (sorry guys. Can you not just buy a couple of tents and catch a train? And will our tickets even get you into camping of we booked in a van? Or one of you just learn how to drive and I'll walk to my friends wedding) for the sake of 1? She's known them all several decades so there's no obvious difference in closeness. Oh well you just wanted to spend nearly a week with me. My friend wants me around for 6 hours along with 100 other people, of COURSE she's more important!!
Localocal · 06/09/2021 16:45

Depends how close a friend it is. I would not miss a close friend's wedding for an event that happens every year. If I were the friend I would be hurt by that and I wouldn't want to feel I had sent my friend a message that she was unimportant to me.

But if it's not a close friend then do as you please.

thing47 · 06/09/2021 16:48

Yeah letting friends down isn't a good reason for favouring Glasto, surely? When everyone's dancing around in the rain to a band they love, they're not going to give two hoots whether OP is there or not Grin.

And Alconleigh they bloody are Smile

AryaStarkWolf · 06/09/2021 16:53

How is it ok to let 5 people down (sorry guys. Can you not just buy a couple of tents and catch a train? And will our tickets even get you into camping of we booked in a van? Or one of you just learn how to drive and I'll walk to my friends wedding) for the sake of 1? She's known them all several decades so there's no obvious difference in closeness. Oh well you just wanted to spend nearly a week with me. My friend wants me around for 6 hours along with 100 other people, of COURSE she's more important!!

You're getting very annoyed with me and 5 of my hypothetical non driving friends (none of the OPs 5 friends can drive, really?) for saying I'd go to a chose friends wedding rather than a festival

Theluggage15 · 06/09/2021 17:01

Good decision OP. I don’t think I would have worried as much as you over the decision myself! You have already planned and booked Glastonbury and that’s that.

Sakura7 · 06/09/2021 17:03

You're getting very annoyed with me and 5 of my hypothetical non driving friends (none of the OPs 5 friends can drive, really?) for saying I'd go to a chose friends wedding rather than a festival

There seems to be a lot of that on this thread. How dreadfully unreasonable to prioritise a close friend. Hmm

AryaStarkWolf · 06/09/2021 17:06

@SleepingStandingUp Also, if it's a Camper Van I assume it's not the OPs normal mode of transport (that's a guess on my part of course but most people who own campers have a car for "normal" travel) so I doubt she would have to walk to the wedding..........but anyway like i said I never said a word about the OP and whether she made the right or wrong choice, I just said what I personally would do in that situation.

SleepingStandingUp · 06/09/2021 17:09

@Localocal

Depends how close a friend it is. I would not miss a close friend's wedding for an event that happens every year. If I were the friend I would be hurt by that and I wouldn't want to feel I had sent my friend a message that she was unimportant to me.

But if it's not a close friend then do as you please.

135000 tickets sold in 33 minutes. It might be nearly annual but op has said its the first tickets she got in a decade. That's not quite the same as popping along to the annual fayre
SleepingStandingUp · 06/09/2021 17:11

@Sakura7

You're getting very annoyed with me and 5 of my hypothetical non driving friends (none of the OPs 5 friends can drive, really?) for saying I'd go to a chose friends wedding rather than a festival

There seems to be a lot of that on this thread. How dreadfully unreasonable to prioritise a close friend. Hmm

But her festival friends are close friends too.
DirectionToPerfection · 06/09/2021 17:12

My fiance's best friend is coming home early from a festival abroad to be at our wedding. We didn't ask her to but really appreciate it. She felt she couldn't have missed it.

GingerFoxInAT0phat · 06/09/2021 17:15

@FirewomanSam

Side note (sorry if this has been talked about already), is it really that hard to get Glastonbury tickets?! shock I have an Aunty who goes every time without fail... I will have to ask her what her secret is!!

My friends who go to Glastonbury regularly seem to either have ‘contacts’ as someone (rather snobbily!) said before, such as knowing a band playing on one of the small stages. Or they volunteer as a steward for a few shifts and get in that way.

My dh goes every year, there’s a group of them who all have each other’s details and all will sit and refresh frantically.

If any of them don’t manage to get one they’ll buy tickets from someone else. There’s also secret sales that will happen periodically but you need to be very lucky to catch them.

Sakura7 · 06/09/2021 17:15

But her festival friends are close friends too.

And they can go without her and still enjoy the festival. A wedding is a major life event where people would generally be surrounded by their nearest and dearest. A festival is not.

Anyway, like a PP I'm just saying what I'd do personally. What the OP does is up to her.

TheRabbitStoleMyHat · 06/09/2021 17:16

There really are a lot of people who need to read the OP’s update.

SallyMcNally · 06/09/2021 17:27

@FirewomanSam

Side note (sorry if this has been talked about already), is it really that hard to get Glastonbury tickets?! shock I have an Aunty who goes every time without fail... I will have to ask her what her secret is!!

My friends who go to Glastonbury regularly seem to either have ‘contacts’ as someone (rather snobbily!) said before, such as knowing a band playing on one of the small stages. Or they volunteer as a steward for a few shifts and get in that way.

We have a system that normally allows us to get tickets for about 80% of the group over sale and resale. I have been incredibly lucky and only missed out on tickets once since 2008 (and one year I had to work so didn't try)

Last year was very competitive though. We only got about 40% of tickets we were after which was lowest ever. It was very very oversubscribed.

Unless you've experienced the hell of hitting refresh for an hour on a Sunday morning as someone tweets how few tickets are left you can't just say that you can go again next year!

Greystray · 06/09/2021 17:31

Glasto definitely. I hope your friend changes the date!

browneyes77 · 06/09/2021 17:32

@Sakura7

But her festival friends are close friends too.

And they can go without her and still enjoy the festival. A wedding is a major life event where people would generally be surrounded by their nearest and dearest. A festival is not.

Anyway, like a PP I'm just saying what I'd do personally. What the OP does is up to her.

It’s a major life event for the Bride and Groom and maybe their families.

It really isn’t for anyone else.

Hadjab · 06/09/2021 17:37

@Campingcarryon I had this exact conversation with my sister years ago - I was bridesmaid at her wedding which clashed with Glasto. She told me straight up to go if I got hold of tickets. I didn’t (unfortunately 🤣)

Enjoy yourself!

Allinadayswork80 · 06/09/2021 17:40

The cost and length of time of Glastonbury is akin to a holiday IMO. You booked it first and like you say (and also from experience) it’s bloody hard to get tickets and you’ve been waiting a long time for it. YANBU to go, just explain and if she’s a good friend she’ll be disappointed but should understand.
I wonder if the posters saying you should go to the wedding would cancel their pre-booked holiday for a wedding? Also if they’re “into” festivals - I presume not and they would therefore have a biased opinion.

HeronLanyon · 06/09/2021 17:56

Well I just watched some 2019 Glastonbury (lizzo) and then dipped back to the amazing dolly parton set. Never been and I could not cope but what a joy it is to see. 2019 also poignant as sea (ocean!) of people all having brilliant time just didn’t know what was to come. life affirming and Really lifted my mood to think of this (and other things) maybe happening again. Blimey op - have fun.

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