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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To choose glastonbury over my friends wedding

789 replies

Campingcarryon · 04/09/2021 13:07

My good friend has just told me she is getting married the same weekend as glastonbury festival next year, for which I have tickets and have obviously by then waited 3 years to go, should it go ahead. I really want to go to the festival as getting tickets is incredibly hard and it’s the first time I have had tickets in 10 years. I love it there &
Post pandemic, I really want to just go and have some fun. I have a camper van so do it in a bit more luxury too.

I feel really bad but honestly I would rather go to the festival than the wedding but am I being really unreasonable? I can’t do both either as wedding is in a different part of the country. I don’t want to upset her either obviously 😬

OP posts:

Magpiesalute · 04/09/2021 13:22

I think your friend might be very hurt, so it depends how much you like her and want to keep that relationship I guess.
I’m not sure the “ooh tickets are so hard to get” argument will wash tbh. It’s a music festival, which happens every year. To me, a wedding would take priority every time (unless it was just an acquaintance).
That said, you can turn it down if you want to, it’s not obligatory.

Original poster

Campingcarryon · 04/09/2021 13:22

@seaandsandcastles yea but have you ever tried to get tickets? It’s the first time in 10 years I have been able to get any

OP posts:

IWasBornInAThunderstorm · 04/09/2021 13:23

If the wedding gets cancelled and you've sold your Glastonbury tickets how would you feel?

If Glastonbury gets cancelled she might let you come along anyway.

itsgettingwierd · 04/09/2021 13:23

You've already made plans.

I'm often surprised when people book weddings on weekends where there are major festivals or on BH weekends and act surprised that some of their have previously made plans!

whosaidtha · 04/09/2021 13:23

It would really depend on how close a friend she is. I couldn't miss a good friends wedding but have lots of friends who I am not as close to.

seaandsandcastles · 04/09/2021 13:24

[quote Campingcarryon]@seaandsandcastles yea but have you ever tried to get tickets? It’s the first time in 10 years I have been able to get any[/quote]
Right but it’s only a festival at the end of the day.

itsgettingwierd · 04/09/2021 13:24

@itsgettingwierd

You've already made plans.

I'm often surprised when people book weddings on weekends where there are major festivals or on BH weekends and act surprised that some of their have previously made plans!

Is the word guest on here banned?!

3 times I went back and added it to that last sentence and it kept disappearing.

Or is there a ghost in my iPad

IWasBornInAThunderstorm · 04/09/2021 13:25

@seaandsandcastles the friends wedding is only a wedding at the end of the day. They can celebrate the marriage together after. Go out for a meal or something.

Original poster

Campingcarryon · 04/09/2021 13:25

@seaandsandcastles it’s also my absolute favourite festival and one of my happy places

OP posts:

IWasBornInAThunderstorm · 04/09/2021 13:25

And Glastonbury is the festival of all festivals

tigger1001 · 04/09/2021 13:26

@seaandsandcastles

I think YABU and selfish. Barring a pandemic, Glastonbury happens every year. This wedding will only happen once and she’s your friend.

She already has tickets though before the bride told her the date.

You don't cancel plans just because someone chooses a date to get married. And it would be rude if someone to think that their invitation is more important than pre existing plans.

TheRabbitStoleMyHat · 04/09/2021 13:26

Go to Glastonbury! You’ve already had it booked and been waiting 3 years. It’s not your fault she booked the same weekend. Just tell her you’re sorry you’ve got tickets for glasto that weekend that you’ve had since pre covid and it happens to be that weekend.

Lots and lots of people are going to now have stuff on that was booked prior to covid, that’s just how it is.

lastqueenofscotland · 04/09/2021 13:27

I’d go to the wedding, yes Glastonbury is hard to get tickets for but your close friend getting married is (hopefully) once!

IWasBornInAThunderstorm · 04/09/2021 13:28

I don't get people saying your friend will only get married once. She will still be married after. Glastonbury won't be there after.

dieblauenStrumpfhosen · 04/09/2021 13:28

I think you should go to the festival. It's not like you booked it on purpose to be on the same day. You wouldn't cancel a holiday if your friend happened to choose that time to get married. It sucks, but you have plans.

The only other option I can think of is potentially going to the wedding and driving back to the festival, but it depends how far apart they are.

HoldingTheDoor · 04/09/2021 13:29

I wouldn't expect a friend to give up tickets for something like Glastonbury to attend my wedding. Yes the wedding is important but it's only one day, of a hopefully many decades long marriage. Besides if you're planning a wedding and want certain people there, it's wise to check with them to ensure there aren't any major plans or events that may clash with your dates.

Original poster

Campingcarryon · 04/09/2021 13:30

@dieblauenStrumpfhosen 200 miles apart so once I am on site, I won’t be leaving!!

OP posts:

Aprilx · 04/09/2021 13:30

I am astonished than anyone would put a festival before a good friends wedding. It would really tell me what a low priority I am to a friend that did that.

LavendulaAngustifolia · 04/09/2021 13:30

Glastonbury. It will be the party of the decade. Weddings are always disappointing

sunflowerdaisies · 04/09/2021 13:30

I'm torn on this as a close friend's wedding is important to be at, but I was thinking how I'd feel, I have a London marathon place this year and I think I'd choose running that over a wedding as it's so hard to get a place. Its a shame there's a conflict but you did have the tickets first so I'd go to the festival I think.

GemmaRuby · 04/09/2021 13:31

It depends how close a friend she is, and how much you value the friendship.
I wouldn’t do this to a close friend, and I would be upset if a close friend chose to go to Glastonbury instead of my wedding.

So yes of course it’s reasonable if you decide to go to Glasto, just be prepared that your friendship might not be the same afterwards.

Original poster

Campingcarryon · 04/09/2021 13:31

I’ll also be at glasto for 5 days!

OP posts:

girlmom21 · 04/09/2021 13:31

You'll have a better time at Glastonbury but your friend may well fall out with you over it.

ShuddaBeenMe · 04/09/2021 13:31

Glasto. Not even a second's doubt.

HoldingTheDoor · 04/09/2021 13:32

I am astonished than anyone would put a festival before a good friends wedding. It would really tell me what a low priority I am to a friend that did that.

If it's that important to the bride to have the OP there, then she should have checked the dates with her.

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