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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Stopping neighbours coming into my garden?

218 replies

niehgboursandgarden · 31/08/2021 16:16

Sounds stupid doesn't it but how do I do this?

I have a 6ft fence. Not allowed to have a higher one as per council regs. I have a garden gate, that's kept locked.

I know they have been in there today because (as on previous occasions) a ball gets kicked over and a day or so later, it's suddenly not there. I saw the ball yesterday it was at least 20ft from the fence that separates our respective gardens so not like they could reach it from their garden.

I have been in all day but from my home office I cannot see my side gate nor the garden (I work at the front of the house so I can see deliveries etc). I am sick of the intrusion, I rarely ever use my garden because I don't feel safe out there, I only go out there if my DP or DC are with me.

What can I do? I don't think a camera would deter them. I'm sick of feeling I have no privacy.

If I confront them they will laugh and say I'm mental. And then I'll have months of the kids name calling me, and DP when he's here (he works away).

Moving is not an option for a couple of years yet and I am wary of escalating any dispute because then I'd have to declare it when I came to sell. I just want them to stop coming in my bloody garden!

OP posts:
RickJames · 31/08/2021 16:19

Sounds annoying but why not just throw the ball back as soon as you see it?

TheMagicPudding · 31/08/2021 16:20

Why not just throw the ball back over? Then theres no need for them to be coming over...? Thats pretty mean of you. Why are you scared of going out into your garden? Surely its just kids kicking the balls over... perhaps you need to work on this a little

SoupDragon · 31/08/2021 16:20

Why didn't you throw the ball back when you saw it?

You could plant spiky plants though. Or can you put flimsy trellis on top of the fence?

Justcallmebebes · 31/08/2021 16:20

If you chucked the ball back as soon as it came over or as soon as you spotted it, would that stop them coming in? If that's the only reason they're entering your garden to collect their belongings, can't you just chuck them straight back?

A lock on your gate?

lannistunut · 31/08/2021 16:20
  1. You need a camera to actually assess the issue
  2. You should return their ball if it comes over
DynamoKev · 31/08/2021 16:20

I'd get a camera, not for deterrent, but just to find out what is actually happening. Is the gate 6ft high?

SukonthaM · 31/08/2021 16:20

So they’re just coming over to retrieve a ball?

ApolloandDaphne · 31/08/2021 16:22

How strange to be scared to go in your garden because the neighbours pop in for their ball. Just throw it over when you see it. How is it an intrusion of you never see them do this. I assume they wait until they know you are not around. They are hardly wandering in and putting up a deckchair beside you when you are sunbathing.

Lunificent · 31/08/2021 16:22

Get a camera so you know exactly what’s happening.

StrongTea · 31/08/2021 16:23

Doesn’t really matter what they are coming in for, they should have the manners to ask.

Thebig3 · 31/08/2021 16:23

Agree with others, if you saw the ball why didn't you chuck it back over?

Do you suspect they are coming in for other reasons?

MolyHolyGuacamole · 31/08/2021 16:23

Honestly thought I was going to open this to a totally truthful story about neighbours coming and having a BBQ and using your sun chair while you're out.

Instead they're coming to retrieve their property that you watch sitting there and refuse to take 2 seconds to chuck back over

Bet this intrusive neighbour is an 8 year old as well

niehgboursandgarden · 31/08/2021 16:23

My garden is on different levels, the ball was on a level I only saw last night when I was already upstairs in my pyjamas. I wasn't going to get dressed to go back downstairs, unlock all the doors to go outside and throw it over. I was going to do it after I finished work today or ask my DC to do it, but it's no longer there.

and tbh it doesn't give them the right to trespass into my garden.

OP posts:
Jigsawtrain · 31/08/2021 16:23

Throwing the ball back seems the obvious solution

MaMelon · 31/08/2021 16:24

Are they climbing over a 6 foot fence to come in, or opening your gate? A camera would help to establish how they're getting in and then you could take steps to make it harder for them. What do they actually do when you go out there? Confused

And YY to throwing the ball back.

lannistunut · 31/08/2021 16:24

@niehgboursandgarden

My garden is on different levels, the ball was on a level I only saw last night when I was already upstairs in my pyjamas. I wasn't going to get dressed to go back downstairs, unlock all the doors to go outside and throw it over. I was going to do it after I finished work today or ask my DC to do it, but it's no longer there.

and tbh it doesn't give them the right to trespass into my garden.

I just think you may be making the problem bigger and what you really want is to de-escalate it?

Get a camera to properly assess what is happening.

ApolloandDaphne · 31/08/2021 16:25

You could knock on their door or pop a note through saying them to come and ask if they want their ball back, preferably after the time you finish work so as not to disturb you.

User135792468 · 31/08/2021 16:26

I agree with pp, just throw them their ball back if you see it. Or ask them to knock for you to throw it over if you haven’t noticed it? They shouldn’t be coming over but why are you so awkward?

SusanBAnthony999 · 31/08/2021 16:26

Sorry you feel so stressed by this. Neighbour disputes are awful and I know how you can feel threatened by people next door even if they never actually do anything illegal.

On the balls, I would resign myself to the fact that kids play in gardens and balls go over walls and fences. Kids then want their balls back. So if you do not throw them back they will come and get them. So the solution is to throw them back eg every evening.

To make it more difficult for them to get into your garden you could put a lock on the gate. Inconvenient for you perhaps but maybe better than allowing them free access. You probably want to avoid the nuclear option of anti climb paint and barbed wire but you can experiment with prickly plants which should have a detterent effect - hawthorn and holly can work and are attractive.

MsWalterMitty · 31/08/2021 16:26

Such a shame you’re too afraid to use your own garden?... Is your area an unsafe place to live?

niehgboursandgarden · 31/08/2021 16:26

I do not want to be subjected to verbal abuse when I'm in my garden which is what usually happens unless I go out there with DC or my DP.

the gate is 6ft, and is also always locked. they are either climbing over the gate or over the fence, or lifting a panel. I have lots of spiky plants and nettles but it doesn't seem to make a jot of difference.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 31/08/2021 16:27

@niehgboursandgarden

My garden is on different levels, the ball was on a level I only saw last night when I was already upstairs in my pyjamas. I wasn't going to get dressed to go back downstairs, unlock all the doors to go outside and throw it over. I was going to do it after I finished work today or ask my DC to do it, but it's no longer there.

and tbh it doesn't give them the right to trespass into my garden.

You also said a ball gets kicked over and a day or so later, it's suddenly not there. so it's not just the one you saw last night in your PJs.

No, it doesn't give them the right to trespass but, given they won't listen, it does help with the problem.

niehgboursandgarden · 31/08/2021 16:28

@MaMelon

Are they climbing over a 6 foot fence to come in, or opening your gate? A camera would help to establish how they're getting in and then you could take steps to make it harder for them. What do they actually do when you go out there? Confused

And YY to throwing the ball back.

they can't open the gate, it's kept locked with a key at all times. they are either climbing over that or the fence.

I can put a camera in one of the bedroom windows but it won't cover the gate as there are no windows on that part of the house.

OP posts:
TheWeatherWitch · 31/08/2021 16:28

Anti vandalism paint on your side of your fence, up high so that they get a handful of it when they climb over.

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