Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Stopping neighbours coming into my garden?

218 replies

niehgboursandgarden · 31/08/2021 16:16

Sounds stupid doesn't it but how do I do this?

I have a 6ft fence. Not allowed to have a higher one as per council regs. I have a garden gate, that's kept locked.

I know they have been in there today because (as on previous occasions) a ball gets kicked over and a day or so later, it's suddenly not there. I saw the ball yesterday it was at least 20ft from the fence that separates our respective gardens so not like they could reach it from their garden.

I have been in all day but from my home office I cannot see my side gate nor the garden (I work at the front of the house so I can see deliveries etc). I am sick of the intrusion, I rarely ever use my garden because I don't feel safe out there, I only go out there if my DP or DC are with me.

What can I do? I don't think a camera would deter them. I'm sick of feeling I have no privacy.

If I confront them they will laugh and say I'm mental. And then I'll have months of the kids name calling me, and DP when he's here (he works away).

Moving is not an option for a couple of years yet and I am wary of escalating any dispute because then I'd have to declare it when I came to sell. I just want them to stop coming in my bloody garden!

OP posts:
violetbunny · 31/08/2021 18:42

You can also paint the top of the fence with anti-climb paint, which will stick to anyone who climbs over.

Tistheseason17 · 31/08/2021 18:43

[quote DumplingsAndStew]**@Tistheseason17* @HarryBoa*

Wow. Hangry? Calm down, it was a simple question.

Never once did I stipulate that I thought the OP should give the balls back immediately, I just asked if there were particular reasons why she doesn't.

She said they knock on the door (or the window) and she sometimes doesn't return those balls until the following day. I was just questioning why, as there might be a way to defuse the situation.[/quote]
Don't be so patronising.
If you'd RTFT - or used some common sense you'd have your answer as to why.
I don't let comments like yours cause me to not be calm but I do like to look out for the OP when posters like you are asking questions that indicate the OP has to change their perfectly normal behaviour and blame them as the victim for the abnormal behaviours of others.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 31/08/2021 18:44

@HalzTangz

From reading an update they do knock, and it's not always returned swiftly
What if she's working? I wouldn't be running out to chuck balls back if I was in the middle of something!
LookItsMeAgain · 31/08/2021 18:47

My thoughts on this. Get a motion activated camera that is used to capture wildlife and position it so that you can see if they are climbing over your gate.
Get a motion triggered watering system for your garden that you turn on when you are not in your garden and turn off when you are. That way if a ball comes in, it might get a bit wet while it is rolling around but someone who comes in to the garden to claim that ball will get a lot wet. Perhaps add a camera to capture the back garden but keep it indoors so that it doesn't have to be waterproof.

Would any of the above work?

DumplingsAndStew · 31/08/2021 18:48

@Tistheseason17

And you call me patronising? 😂😂

You crack on, love.

BaringasMare · 31/08/2021 18:48

Genuinely astonished by some of the responses here. You can tell that the people blaming you for not returning the balls quick enough are the hellish neighbours who make everyone’s lives a misery.

How about something like pyracantha grown along the fence? It’s a nice garden plant because it gives lovely coverage and beautiful bright berries, but it’s viciously spiky and grows very fast. A few well-placed bushes could have your fence totally covered within a couple of years, so it absolutely wouldn’t be climbable.

I wonder also if there’s anything you could string along the top of the fence to deter them? Nothing unsafe like barbed wire, but maybe some of that electric fencing tape (not actually switched on) would make them pause.

If that doesn’t work I actually would start puncturing the balls Grin then pop round to return them and say how sorry you are but they must have hit all that lovely pyracantha you just planted and sadly burst…

Alternatively - a nice barky dog? Some hens? Cockerels can be fabulously territorial. They would only need to be chased by one once and they’d never trespass again.

Motion activated sprinklers? Is that a thing?

Hope you find a solution. They sound like absolute cunts and it’s totally shit for you to not feel relaxed in your own garden Flowers

CeceJoyce · 31/08/2021 18:48

I am so surprised at the amount of people acting like it’s reasonable that the neighbours come into your garden if a ball comes over! That’s crazy. It’s your property. I am lucky and I have lovely neighbours, they have two young dc’s. they probably have about 10 balls as they know it’s likely a couple may come over the fence. If I notice I always throw it back over or they may knock on the door and ask for them back but I would not be happy with people climbing a fence to get in my garden! It’s not ok! Especially if they are an intimidating family…

chitchatchatter · 31/08/2021 18:48

Thanks @niehgboursandgarden it made a very tough time even harder. If you’ve never had to put up with such fuckwittery then it might seem hard to understand or to believe, but I believe you.

Theunamedcat · 31/08/2021 18:49

Rosa rugosa is a good deterrent pin your panels in place so they can't be lifted lock your gate and put a bell on it

And use your garden if they start abusing you just ignore them put headphones on and visibly ignore them have friends over to your garden

Tistheseason17 · 31/08/2021 18:53

@DumplingsAndStew
You crack on, love

Please I could assist Biscuit

olympicsrock · 31/08/2021 18:53

I also have no idea why OP is getting such a hard time. She is too busy to throw them back immediately and they are abusive and trespassing!

MrMeSeeks · 31/08/2021 19:01

Op does not need to throw balls back immediately nor does it give the neighbours right to come into her garden!

Put anti climb paint all over your fence and get a camera the cfs!

HarryBoa · 31/08/2021 19:04

[quote DumplingsAndStew]**@Tistheseason17* @HarryBoa*

Wow. Hangry? Calm down, it was a simple question.

Never once did I stipulate that I thought the OP should give the balls back immediately, I just asked if there were particular reasons why she doesn't.

She said they knock on the door (or the window) and she sometimes doesn't return those balls until the following day. I was just questioning why, as there might be a way to defuse the situation.[/quote]
No you weren't asking a simple question. You were being disingenuous.

Original poster
niehgboursandgarden · 31/08/2021 19:04

@HalzTangz what more do you think happened with the fence?

I'll try and explain. This was the first occasion where I ever told my neighbours that their children shouldn't do something. Said neighbours let their children do what they want - which within their home is their business, but if they were coming into my garden with thorns and nettles I felt I should say please don't come in, just because the panel is insecure, and to the parents please don't let your children come in.
And that was the start of it - clearly because I'd stopped the children doing what they wanted, or perhaps they were offended by me asking them to stop the children? Either way that was where it began - the namecalling began then and continued.

Here's another more recent instance - earlier this year a bike was leant against my driveway gate (which I needed to move as I was going out). I moved the bike a foot to the side, thinking it was neighbours (as they often leave stuff in front of the gates) guest kid who's round there visiting apparently rushes over saying sorry that's my bike, I smile and say no problem. Neighbours kid starts shouting to friend don't talk to that fat old cow she's a loony, Mum Dad she's touched Fred's bike she's not meant to touch our things is she, call the police on her. To which mum shouts yes you have to ignore her Fred she's not very nice.

I literally did nothing on that occasion but move a bike. I was half expecting to be accused of stealing that too.

OP posts:
cctvrec · 31/08/2021 19:09

Trellis on top of the fence stops anyone climbing on it and a Blink XT2 cctv camera (recommended because it's cheap, motion activated, has a two way speaker system, connects to your mobile its easy to install - two screws - and runs on batteries)

fluffedup · 31/08/2021 19:10

The parents should be ashamed of how they are teaching their children to behave.

But I wonder if the children have exaggerated your behaviour to their parents? So you tell them not to play in your garden, they tell their parents you were really nasty, parents are thick enough to believe it and retaliate by encouraging bad behaviour in the children.

chitchatchatter · 31/08/2021 19:11

Practically speaking, as others have said I’d start with a blink camera or similar to see how they’re getting in. If they’re lifting panels, then pin the panels in place, if they’re climbing over then anti-vandal paint on your side of the fence (not at the top) and large, really prickly plants like pyracantha or holly along the border. Don’t use spikes on the top of the fence.

Do your neighbours own or rent? Is there any potential recourse via a landlord?

Welshgal85 · 31/08/2021 19:11

They sound awful! I suppose you need to decide whether you can cope with it as it is, put some more security type things in place to deter them or if you want to escalate and report them despite what that may mean when you come to sell

Hopeisnotastrategy · 31/08/2021 19:22

@WorriedWishingWell

Could be foxes
I see your, "It could be foxes", and raise you the immortal words of a poster a while ago, "I've never heard a fox ask someone to stick a finger up its bum".

Can you tell I've waited a long time to repeat that phrase?

Hopeisnotastrategy · 31/08/2021 19:25

@Flowers500

Christ you’re such a drama llama. Just give the kids their balls back and ignore them.
Either you haven't read the whole thread or you're just being nasty.
JennaPenna · 31/08/2021 19:26

I would be happy for next doors kids to come into the garden to get their footballs....saves me a job 😂

CharityDingle · 31/08/2021 19:55

They sound rotten, OP. You have my absolute sympathy. Had a flavour of it, at one stage where I lived, and it's horrible. They are 100% doing it deliberately, I would be absolutely certain of that.

The abuse and shouting insults, might be something you could take further, perhaps to the police, if necessary. I know you are reluctant to escalate things, but it sounds miserable to have to put up with that.

It's horrible to feel trapped, essentially, in your own home, unable to enjoy your garden. Definitely try some of the suggestions of things to grow near the fence.

Junepassing · 31/08/2021 20:12

Bloody hell OP you should not have to put up with this behaviour it is completely unacceptable! Anti-climb paint all over the fence. Phone on record every time you go out there. If they swear or shout abuse at you contact the police every time and play them the recordings.

I get that you want to avoid making things worse or making it difficult to sell your house but their behaviour is disgusting and this can't continue. It's harassment and stopping you from enjoying peaceful enjoyment of your property which you work hard for and are entitled to.

Seriously, big girl pants on, they are not allowed to get away with it anymore. Flowers

Cherrysoup · 31/08/2021 20:54

Definitely record them. Log absolutely every incident. This constitutes harassment and the police should be interested. If you have a neighbourhood team, they can go and speak to the tosser next door.

ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 31/08/2021 21:11

My kids are buggers for kicking the ball next door, I'm never sure if its better to wait for them to throw it back over or send the oldest to fetch it through their (unlocked) gate. I rarely actually SEE the neighbours to ask them, for me it depends on how close to the gate it is, if its very close to the house they leave it as it feels intrusive but if its close to the gate at the far end they can nip in and fetch it, bring careful not to touch anything else and leave the gate open or closed as they found it.