Flattering or inappropriate from mechanic at garage?

[georgeaibu]

I'm a mid twenties woman who took the car to the garage for a new tyre (alone). I have not been to this garage before but it comes highly recommended from the local mums Facebook page.

I pull up and the manager/owner (according to their Facebook page), who must have been between 60-70, says 'hello princess, how can I help?'. We then discuss the needs of the car and he asks if I am going to wait- I say yes as it will only be about 20 minutes- and he says 'that's our pleasure to have you wait, you look absolutely lovely'.

I wait inside uneventfully. When he calls me up to pay he explains about the car throughly and normally, but then as I go to leave he says (I assume clocking my wedding ring) 'your young man is a very lucky man, you're really pretty'.

On each occasion I didn't know what to say so mumbled something about 'thanks' and felt progressively more uncomfortable, especially after the last comment. He's 100% older than my dad.

AIBU to have felt uncomfortable? Should I have just felt flattered?

(He wasn't saying things in a 'leery' way, I never felt unsafe, and there were other mechanics in the area albeit they wouldn't have heard what he said).

Ugh, no. I wouldn't like that.

That is very creepy and seriously unprofessional. I would find another garage

That's hellish very creepy

Well I’m guessing he wouldn’t talk to a man like it, so yes I’d say unprofessional and inappropriate.

Being called 'princess' would have been enough to put me off tbh.

It's not flattering. It is creepy. But it's not worth giving headspace too. I'd just forget it and use a different garage next time.

Inappropriate, sexist and creepy. I and lots of women would have felt uncomfortable too.

Strike 1 = Princess 😡🤬😡

Further strikes for the very personal comments on your appearance 😡🤬😡

Of course its really uncomfortable to know that someone is having sexual thoughts about us. We don’t need or want to know what’s going on in other people’s heads like that. They force us to know it 😡

It’s wrong that women going about our normal business should have to deal with this level of scrutiny and sexualisation from men, and particularly older men. They think we should be flattered because they have generously bestowed the ‘gift’ of their attention and approval but they can just fuck off IMO.

I'd have thought he was sweet 🤷🏽‍♀️

I won't be going back, which is annoying as the tyres were good value. Thanks all.

He hasn’t got the memo that women under a certain age dislike compliments. I’m a similar age to him and become more flirtatious as I get older, in the sure and certain knowledge that nobody would take me seriously.

It's not unreasonable to feel as you do - they are your feelings and they are perfectly valid.
Would everyone feel uncomfortable - maybe not, some people might feel flattered I would personally find it a bit creepy because I don't want strange men commenting on my appearance. You were simply there as a customer paying for their services as a mechanic, absolutely no need for any personal remarks.

But as I say - I think some people might be flattered by this kind of attention.
I think someone on a thread a little while ago had some man make similar remarks to her and she said something like 'thanks for your opinion random man'. Which seemed to shut him up.

One compliment is nice, several in a short space of time is a bit creepy. The fact that he made you feel uncomfortable says it all.

Very creepy. I wouldn't use that garage again. How does he know your husband is lucky to have you just based on being pretty. You could be a high, maintenance fish wife.
I would hate to be called Princess too. Unless you were wearing a tiara and a disney dress or are an actual princess.

@YoComoManzanas

Very creepy. I wouldn't use that garage again. How does he know your husband is lucky to have you just based on being pretty. You could be a high, maintenance fish wife. I would hate to be called Princess too. Unless you were wearing a tiara and a disney dress or are an actual princess.

Can confirm none of the above were worn

I would use the garage again if a good garage but I would dislike his manner.

Teen adult DD is happily flattered by male attention but would probably put that in the mild creep category -- because he's an old guy. Scowl Face on.

Personally I am okay with one or two comments in a non-threatening context but there's a limit.

It's not exactly flattering but it sounds like he was just trying to be nice.
If the tyres were done quickly and at a reasonable price I'd go back.

I’m guessing it’s that generational thing with a bit of pushing your luck cheekiness chucked in for good measure.
You’re not ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ to feel uncomfortable. You feel the way you feel! Maybe not go back there again, sounds like his mouth opened before his brain was in gear.

Would it have said any of it to a man? No way, so i was inappropropriate.

It wouldn't have bothered me, but I am substantially older than you. I think it's a bit inappropriate given your respective ages.

Meh. Wouldn't have bothered me but I can totally understand if people would be bothered.

It sounds like he was a little over the top but it certainly would not make me reluctant to return. I was born in the 60s and being love, dear etc was normal with no creepy intent.

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It's not exactly flattering but it sounds like he was just trying to be nice

It's not 'nice' for random men unknown to you to comment on your appearance, complimentary or otherwise. OP was a customer not going on a first date ffs.

Grim. Not okay. I don’t mind being called darling/love etc in that context but comments made specifically about your looks and marital status, yuk.