Flattering or inappropriate from mechanic at garage?

[georgeaibu]

I'm a mid twenties woman who took the car to the garage for a new tyre (alone). I have not been to this garage before but it comes highly recommended from the local mums Facebook page.

I pull up and the manager/owner (according to their Facebook page), who must have been between 60-70, says 'hello princess, how can I help?'. We then discuss the needs of the car and he asks if I am going to wait- I say yes as it will only be about 20 minutes- and he says 'that's our pleasure to have you wait, you look absolutely lovely'.

I wait inside uneventfully. When he calls me up to pay he explains about the car throughly and normally, but then as I go to leave he says (I assume clocking my wedding ring) 'your young man is a very lucky man, you're really pretty'.

On each occasion I didn't know what to say so mumbled something about 'thanks' and felt progressively more uncomfortable, especially after the last comment. He's 100% older than my dad.

AIBU to have felt uncomfortable? Should I have just felt flattered?

(He wasn't saying things in a 'leery' way, I never felt unsafe, and there were other mechanics in the area albeit they wouldn't have heard what he said).

[quote Honeymare]@Pumperthepumper if by respond in kind you mean smile and look pleased then yes.[/quote]
100% of the time?

Shade 17 Read the bit about him not wanting to go back under the car... He didn't want to go back on the floor to do the pads

Still makes no sense, you don’t fit old pads to new discs (usually)

My window-cleaner calls me 'Princess'. Causes the odd internal 'eyeroll', but I've never pulled him up on this because he's otherwise a genuinely pleasant older guy, makes polite conversation in an adult manner, and neither infantilizes me nor makes any kind of comment on my personal appearance.

It sounds as though you were more or less under bombardment with the constant personal comments coming from this guy. His behaviour was inappropriate and unprofessional. I would not be at all comfortable with this, and would be giving him a very wide berth in future.

I hope you leave a negative review.

No wonder men don’t smile or compliment women anymore?! They just can’t win!

Yes, they can. They win at every game of masculine privilege there is. Particularly when they choose to ignore the lack of reciprocity and continue laying it on with all the subtlety of a JCB digger. Ugh.

It’s a garage! Suck it up.

I don't want to suck it up. I'm there to get my tyres changed, not to decorate the waiting area for smarmy dickheads.

I would have felt a million dollars but I’m an older generation who doesn’t need ‘likes’ of social media to feel validated.

I need neither SM 'likes' OR validation of my personal appearance from total strangers. As to to the generational jibes, there have been numerous women in their 50s and older on this thread who have also testified to the fact that they don't like it.

He didn’t molest you or threaten your safety?!

And OP should be grateful for that? This is a bar which urgently needs to be raised. It was unwanted, inappropriate attention. It's not acceptable. And women DO have to be constantly on the watch for men who would threaten their safety: hence I disagree with the post way back on the thread with the 'don't call me Princess' protestation. Women need to risk-assess a situation very carefully before they tell a man to back off. Hence the old maxim: 'men are afraid women will laugh at them; women are afraid men will kill them'.

Wow what a world we live in.

A world where women should put up and shut up about situations which make them acutely uncomfortable, merely to pander to the whims of men? Aye.

And for all of you who think the man was creepy… you need to reconnect with humanity and relationships that are not just limited to the internet.

Object to creepy, unwanted behaviour (as this was) from male strangers and you're lonely and have no idea about human relationships?

Righty-ho. The force of internalized misogyny is strong in this one.

@MarieIVanArkleStinks

No wonder men don’t smile or compliment women anymore?! They just can’t win!

Yes, they can. They win at every game of masculine privilege there is. Particularly when they choose to ignore the lack of reciprocity and continue laying it on with all the subtlety of a JCB digger. Ugh.

It’s a garage! Suck it up.

I don't want to suck it up. I'm there to get my tyres changed, not to decorate the waiting area for smarmy dickheads.

I would have felt a million dollars but I’m an older generation who doesn’t need ‘likes’ of social media to feel validated.

I need neither SM 'likes' OR validation of my personal appearance from total strangers. As to to the generational jibes, there have been numerous women in their 50s and older on this thread who have also testified to the fact that they don't like it.

He didn’t molest you or threaten your safety?!

And OP should be grateful for that? This is a bar which urgently needs to be raised. It was unwanted, inappropriate attention. It's not acceptable. And women DO have to be constantly on the watch for men who would threaten their safety: hence I disagree with the post way back on the thread with the 'don't call me Princess' protestation. Women need to risk-assess a situation very carefully before they tell a man to back off. Hence the old maxim: 'men are afraid women will laugh at them; women are afraid men will kill them'.

Wow what a world we live in.

A world where women should put up and shut up about situations which make them acutely uncomfortable, merely to pander to the whims of men? Aye.

And for all of you who think the man was creepy… you need to reconnect with humanity and relationships that are not just limited to the internet.

Object to creepy, unwanted behaviour (as this was) from male strangers and you're lonely and have no idea about human relationships?

Righty-ho. The force of internalized misogyny is strong in this one.

👏👏👏👏🤞🏻

Object to creepy, unwanted behaviour (as this was) from male strangers

Agreed, men have no right to talk to women EVER and should just shut up.

Shade17 he put the old pads on for me to run my car 2 miles down the road to get new pads on at the Garage. I think it was January and it was cold. So old pads were on for a 2 mile trip which lasted ten minutes as the car could be raised on ramps. Hey presto new pads on new discs which the man at the garage said I needed replacing.

Shade17 he put the old pads on for me to run my car 2 miles down the road to get new pads on at the Garage. I think it was January and it was cold. So old pads were on for a 2 mile trip which lasted ten minutes as the car could be raised on ramps. Hey presto new pads on new discs which the man at the garage said I needed replacing.

Bonkers. Should’ve just fitted the new pads with the new discs.

@Journeyofthedragons

Object to creepy, unwanted behaviour (as this was) from male strangers

Agreed, men have no right to talk to women EVER and should just shut up.

When all they have to offer is the sort of bilge this dude was trotting out then yep, would be nice.

Maybe so but everyone has options and choices..... On how to react to situations that are presented....

Mariel has nailed it. big up tick.