Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you drink when you have a child?

203 replies

Newbabynewhouse · 22/08/2021 21:53

Currently sat drinking a bottle of red wine as its yummy..feeling guilty as I'm looking after my baby (6 months old) who's asleep in cot.. partner is also asleep but she's my responsibility tonight as he's in work early in the morn.... for added context, I'm a large lady so a bottle won't get me 'drunk' is this bad.. am i the only one who does this
...?

OP posts:
Beautiful3 · 22/08/2021 23:54

@40Newbabynewhouse
"I wouldn't drive my husband would hmm but I could"
Please don't ever drink and drive, just because you think you could. It's so dangerous and can kill. A whole bottle of wine would affect anyone's driving ability, regardless of their size.

Original poster
Newbabynewhouse · 22/08/2021 23:58

I "wouldn't" drive... my husband would...

OP posts:
Bagamoyo1 · 23/08/2021 00:07

As others have said, I wouldn’t drink that much when looking after a baby.
And however much you think your size renders you tolerant to alcohol, it will be evident to others that you’ve been drinking. If you had to go to A&E with your child then it would be obvious and embarrassing.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 23/08/2021 00:07

@Newbabynewhouse

I "wouldn't" drive... my husband would...
You repeatedly said you 'could'.

Go to bed I think, it's embarrassing now.

Strokethefurrywall · 23/08/2021 00:16

Meh, I’m a size 10 and would easily drink a bottle of wine whilst the babies were in bed.
I was never so drunk that I failed to hear them or tend to their needs either.

I fail to fathom how many emergencies would happen after 8pm that warranted driving anywhere that you wouldn’t just call 911 for.

Only on Mumsnet do people think drinking over 2 glasses of wine makes an alcoholic, not to mention those who flap about night time “emergencies” (whatever they might be).

In real life many non-alcoholic, fully functional parents do this and the sky doesn’t fall in.

Starjammer · 23/08/2021 00:18

I didn't when she was so young because I would have to feed her overnight and I didn't want to have her in bed with me or in my arms when I had consumed alcohol (although i only drink a glass anyway). I think she's quite young for you to be drinking to that volume, but if your husband will do any night-waking and feeds then probably not dangerous. I was breastfeeding so I needed to be safe!

Starjammer · 23/08/2021 00:20

(Just to add I mean safe in terms of being alert because I had to feed her myself and I wouldn't have wanted to fall asleep while holding or something. Not because I was worried about alcohol in breast milk or anything)

Ehhhhhhhh · 23/08/2021 00:31

Honestly OP, a bottle of wine a week (once a week does not make you alcohol dependent IMO) don’t get me wrong drinking less will help health wise however please don’t be pulled into thinking as you have more than a thimble of sweet Sherry you are dependent. I would actively encourage less alcohol intake (from personal experience, I do feel much better) however I’d happily have 2 maybe 3 (so a bottle) once a week or every other 😂 I’d be more concerned if you were seeing alcohol as a coping or escape mechanism.

Sorry for spelling mistakes or grammar, I’m dyslexic before anyone claims I’ve had a few. Hopefully I’ve not made too many though.... (😬😬)

Kotatsu · 23/08/2021 00:36

My kids are in bed, I'm a single parent. I'm allowed a bottle of wine of a weekend.

I have no family, I do have friends, and I could pay a babysitter (outside of covid, which we basically are now), but once the kids are asleep, the risk is so low that if I want a bloody drink, then I'm going to have one.

You have a spare adult, so in an emergency you have backup. Fill your boots.

SageRosemary · 23/08/2021 00:46

I'm inclined to think this whole thread is a wind-up. Why would you ask a bunch of randoms on the internet when factual information from reliable sources is online.

A quick internet seach reveals "A 750ml bottle of red, white or rosé wine (ABV 13.5%) contains 10 units. " That's from the NHS

Consuming that amount of wine as a once off does not make you an alcoholic but it does make you a binge drinker. A binge drinking session for a woman involves 6 units, also from the NHS

There's a gazillion calories in wine too.

Maybe you are one of those lucky mums whose baby will sleep right through until 8am, if you are not, then really, your poor baby is at risk tonight and tomorrow.

Congratulations on your readable, well-spelled posts, I'm hoping you are as steady on your feet and with your hands. Actually, no, I'm still hoping this is a wind-up. It has all the hallmarks of it.

Strokethefurrywall · 23/08/2021 00:52

At risk from what @SageRosemary? Her partner is there for Christ’s sake!

Kotatsu · 23/08/2021 01:03

Binge drinking from the NHS:

6 units of alcohol in a single session for women.

So if you share a bottle of wine over dinner, than have a brandy with dessert, or an irish coffee you're a binge drinker!

Kotatsu · 23/08/2021 01:05

The NHS defines binge drinking as “drinking lots of alcohol in a short space of time or drinking to get drunk”.1

Ahhhh. So the units are rather misleading. It's also about time and intention.

Jennybeans401 · 23/08/2021 02:46

I can't function after a few glasses of wine now but years ago would have okay!

If you need to drink so much in one night then maybe I'd ask if you are happy.

SnackSizeRaisin · 23/08/2021 03:36

Drinking a bottle of wine alone isn't normal. Different if you were with friends. But then being 18 stone suggests a lack of self control. The issue is not an occasional bottle of wine. Sounds like your whole way of life needs an overhaul.

MattyGroves · 23/08/2021 07:45

Mumsnet is so driving/car obsessed at times. We don't own a car so does that make us bad parents as we can never drive our children to the hospital in an emergency?

Also - the amount of alcohol that gets into breast milk is negligible.. even after binge drinking, your milk is max as alcoholic as orange juice. I know the OP isn't breastfeeding but it's been mentioned a few times.

Having said all that, that's a bit more than I would be comfortable with. We do drink when the kids are in bed but, while I'm not bothered about being under the driving limit as we don't have a car anyway, I keep it to a level where I could deal with any issues with the kids. For me that's around 4-6 units. But the OP has a higher tolerance so maybe it's fine

Parttimemostofthetime · 23/08/2021 07:52

I wouldn't, certainly not a bottle. If I drank a bottle the next day would be completely wasted.

Starjammer · 23/08/2021 07:55

I suppose my problem is that with such a young baby, you often take them into bed with you to feed etc before putting them back in their own bed, and if I'd had quite a lot to drink, I don't think it would be safe to be in a position where I was perhaps more likely to fall asleep with a baby in my arms than I would be otherwise. I don't think the car argument is a good one, but I do think you need to be careful if you have had quite a lot to drink and are doing overnight duties with such a young child. If I wanted to drink a lot at that stage, I would have made sure DH was doing the overnight stuff.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 23/08/2021 07:57

I drink but not a whole bottle. Not with a baby either, DS is 8.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 23/08/2021 08:06

How Uber cool you are OP downing a bottle of wine and laughing how you could drive it needed and won’t cuddle your newborn Hmm.
Switch the word wine for for 10 units of vodka or a spliff and see the MN who ok’d this behaviour be up in arms- but wine always gets a pass #middleclasstonic

Auntieobem · 23/08/2021 08:51

People have different alcohol tolerances - I drink a bottle of wine most Friday nights, up bright and early on a Saturday, no hangover. OP's husband was in the house if there was an emergency.

If only there was some way of being able to call someone to come and pick you up if you're over the limit to drive - I think I'd even pay for that - we could call it a taxi??

KurtWilde · 23/08/2021 08:59

At this point it's not even about OP drinking a full bottle of wine, it's about her stating that she felt she could still drive. Regardless of whether she would or not or was joking, it's in pretty bad taste.

EarringsandLipstick · 23/08/2021 09:06

People have different alcohol tolerances

It doesn't matter what 'tolerances' people have, ultimately.

The facts are that most bottles of wine are 10 units of alcohol, and a maximum weekly intake is 14 units. Drinking this amount of alcohol constitutes a binge. These are the facts as set out by the NHS even if some may disagree.

Equally, a full bottle of wine will make anyone drunk. People may argue against that based on their own personal experiences. However, if they were tested, they would absolutely not be sober & would fail to meet certain tests to determine that they were. Regardless of how 'tipsy' they 'felt'.

Whether such a course of action is advisable when caring for a 6 month old baby is a choice for the OP however. She asked if others do it - some people do, some people don't.

TowelStripes · 23/08/2021 09:06

@SnackSizeRaisin

Drinking a bottle of wine alone isn't normal. Different if you were with friends. But then being 18 stone suggests a lack of self control. The issue is not an occasional bottle of wine. Sounds like your whole way of life needs an overhaul.
This is an unnecessarily harsh and uncalled for comment. You should be ashamed of writing to this to someone. Would you say this to someone you know who is overweight face to face? If not, don't say it behind a computer to a real person online. If you would say it, perhaps think about how your words will affect people. Being a size 18 does not indicate a lack of self control or needing a whole life overhaul. It's a size of clothing that fits someone's body. It doesn't indicate anyone's worth. It's a number on the label of a top she wears, it's arbitrary.
icedcoffees · 23/08/2021 09:13

I couldn't manage a whole bottle of wine without feeling absolutely horrendous.

OP - you just seem to want people to agree with you but tbh from your responses to appeared much more worse for wear than you seemed to want to admit to yourself.

I know most of MN has a really chilled attitude to alcohol but tbh I don't get it. But then I've seen the impact of alcoholism on my dad (both his parents were raging alcoholics) and sadly a neighbour of mine is one too - his tolerance is also very high now - but he just drinks more and more to get the same impact and most of his binges result in him stumbling over and injuring himself or ending up in the hospital.

Of course many people can drink and never end up addicted but it really scares me how horrible an impact "the odd drink" can end up having on people's lives.