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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you drink when you have a child?

203 replies

Newbabynewhouse · 22/08/2021 21:53

Currently sat drinking a bottle of red wine as its yummy..feeling guilty as I'm looking after my baby (6 months old) who's asleep in cot.. partner is also asleep but she's my responsibility tonight as he's in work early in the morn.... for added context, I'm a large lady so a bottle won't get me 'drunk' is this bad.. am i the only one who does this
...?

OP posts:
Original poster
Newbabynewhouse · 22/08/2021 22:10

I wouldn't say an alcoholic no.. but I do enjoy the odd drink.. I don't do this nightly.. but tonight I have just fancied it and it's gone down!!! .. but like I say, I'm not drunk.. and I don't co sleep xx

OP posts:
GreenTortoise · 22/08/2021 22:10

I'm not a big drinker anyway. Before DS I had a drink once or twice a year.

I don't really drink at all now but wouldn't drink a bottle of wine but that's my opinion.

I'd worry I wouldn't wake up to him if he cried or just generally wanted me for something.

EarringsandLipstick · 22/08/2021 22:10

@Newbabynewhouse

Eek.. well yes I probably have an unhealthy intolerance to be fair.. but like I said I'm big! .. I'm talking 18 stone big.. so a bottle gets me tipsy.. just sat here wondering if other mums do this... ConfusedBlush
It doesn't matter if you are 'big'. Regularly drinking a full bottle alone, while caring for a baby, isn't good. Units-wise it's way over. In terms of quantity in one go, it does qualify as binge-drinking.

I'm sure other people do this too. But that doesn't make it a wise choice. I think you might need to look for help to make better choices.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 22/08/2021 22:10

Sorry OP I appreciate you’re looking for some kind of mother solidarity but I think it’s bloody stupid to drink so much with a near on newborn needing you

AvantGardening · 22/08/2021 22:11

A bottle is what? Three large glasses? I’d be have been fine on that pre toddler and pregnancies so if you genuinely wouldn’t be drunk it’s fine. (I’m now a mega lightweight but I swear it’s just sleep deprivation really)

BrilliantBetty · 22/08/2021 22:12

Nope I don't do this and would certainly not have done this with a six month old baby in my sole care.

A bottle is a lot regardless of how large you are.

Germolenequeen · 22/08/2021 22:12

YABU

tiredmama2020 · 22/08/2021 22:13

@Newbabynewhouse

Eek.. well yes I probably have an unhealthy intolerance to be fair.. but like I said I'm big! .. I'm talking 18 stone big.. so a bottle gets me tipsy.. just sat here wondering if other mums do this... ConfusedBlush
@Newbabynewhouse A glass of wine or whatever is fine but personally I think if you’re drinking enough to get you “tipsy” then you should definitely not be looking after a young child at the same time!
EarringsandLipstick · 22/08/2021 22:14

A bottle is about 10 units (depends on the strength).

The recommended max intake is 14 units a week.

Consuming 10 units in one night is classified as binge drinking which is a whole other kind of harmful.

Hankunamatata · 22/08/2021 22:17

Your partners home. Couple glasses is fine.

ChameleonKola · 22/08/2021 22:17

God no. If I were in sole charge of my 6m old I wouldn’t have more than a glass max, and tbh I just wouldn’t have that. My kid is a toddler now and if I’m the one ‘on duty’ if he were to need me I wouldn’t drink at all. Never drank while in charge solo of a child.

Is it really cos it’s ‘yummy’? I mean, hot chocolate, a milkshake, are yummier... you’ve specifically chosen to imbibe something with psychoactive qualities so at least maybe be honest with yourself about the reason why? When there is alcohol free wine you can’t really say you’ve chosen to drink because of the taste.

I honestly can’t think why someone would need or want to drink an entire bottle while in charge of a child. I find it really concerning. No doubt I’ll get flamed but this isn’t normal to me or anyone I know with kids.

DeliaOwens · 22/08/2021 22:18

I don't do this, but did come from a family where drinking like this was seen as ok...until one night there was a health emergency for a child, and there were tragic consequences. It coloured how I think about drinking forever.

IMHO You need to have at least one, non sleep deprived and sober adult who can think clearly and drive in an emergency.

optimisticpessimist01 · 22/08/2021 22:18

I definitely have a couple of glasses. I wouldn't have a full bottle but that's because I'd be dying in the morning rather than anything else stopping me!

waitingfor40 · 22/08/2021 22:18

Enjoy the bottle!
You will get mixed opinions on this but it's your choice, you know your baby, how well they sleep, their needs ect...
I did this regularly once baby was in bed and now he's school age enjoy a drink every weekend, like you I drink the bottle sometimes more live and let live I say 😘

lllllllllll · 22/08/2021 22:19

I would, but only once they were reliably sleeping through the night. I was too tired before then. Mine were excellent sleepers though and very rarely woke after they went to bed at 7-8ish. Also we live in London so in the event of an emergency, the local hospital is under a mile away so we could walk or get a taxi in a matter of minutes. If we had lived in the sticks and didn’t have that option it would be different.

ChameleonKola · 22/08/2021 22:19

@Newbabynewhouse

I wouldn't say an alcoholic no.. but I do enjoy the odd drink.. I don't do this nightly.. but tonight I have just fancied it and it's gone down!!! .. but like I say, I'm not drunk.. and I don't co sleep xx
You use very passive language: ‘it’s gone down!!!’. No, the wine didn’t magically throw itself down your neck. ‘I drank it all!’ is accurate. Bit concerned you don’t seem to see yourself as someone in control of the alcohol here.
Boatonthehorizon · 22/08/2021 22:19

I have a glass of wine every few days. Bottle lasts a week.

Mammyloveswine · 22/08/2021 22:20

I'm only slightly overweight and can easily drink a bottle of wine over an evening without being drunk or hungover...

I certainly don't do it loads (but often have a glass of wine with dinner(.

Today I had a small wine whilst cooking Sunday lunch around 4pm.. a large glass with my Sunday dinner then I've just finished the rest of the bottle!

I've got a 7am gym glass booked!

Op it's fine.., you don't do it everyday, your partner is around and I assume like me you've spread your bottle out and not downed it with a straw!

If you had been out and had 3 glasses of wine at a wedding for example everyone would be fully supportive! MN is so extreme with drinking!

Original poster
Newbabynewhouse · 22/08/2021 22:20

I know how many units are in a bottle.. but like I say, i don't do it often.. just tonight I had a glass, that led onto 3.. and I've enjoyed it.. but then felt guilty as I have a baby (my first baby) so not sure if this is what others do too or is it bad Hmm...

OP posts:
scarpa · 22/08/2021 22:20

That's a lot of alcohol to drink in one go. No real issue with you having a drink when there's a baby in the house as there's another adult nearby, but I think sinking a whole bottle of red by yourself of an evening is a bit much.

(I'm not a Mumsnet "Ooh I have one sip of low-alcohol beer at Christmas and that's it", I promise. Just think the way you're hedging it with "oh well it won't get me drunk!" - that's concerning. A whole bottle of wine should be getting you drunk. Your tolerance level is way off, and that's an issue.)

minipie · 22/08/2021 22:22

Not a chance when my babies were that young as they were still waking fairly often in the night and I wouldn’t want to sleep through them crying or hear them and have to get up to them half cut.

EarringsandLipstick · 22/08/2021 22:23

@Newbabynewhouse

I know how many units are in a bottle.. but like I say, i don't do it often.. just tonight I had a glass, that led onto 3.. and I've enjoyed it.. but then felt guilty as I have a baby (my first baby) so not sure if this is what others do too or is it bad Hmm...
My reply re units was to another poster who asked about glasses.

OP, you are looking for people to make you feel better.

As you can see, some people do drink a bottle of wine, others don't.

I think you need to consider the NHS advice, and on that basis, it's not a good idea.

Practically, I really don't think you are safe to properly care for such a little baby after a whole bottle of wine (you say your DP is there but the baby is your responsibility).

minipie · 22/08/2021 22:23

Definitely would have had a glass but no way a bottle

Wolfiefan · 22/08/2021 22:23

You’ve asked if it’s ok. Quite a few people have said it’s far from ideal and you’re trying to justify it.
A bottle in one go is a binge. You’re in charge of a very small child.
I wouldn’t say that’s ok.

godmum56 · 22/08/2021 22:24

are you BF?