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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do you drink when you have a child?

203 replies

Newbabynewhouse · 22/08/2021 21:53

Currently sat drinking a bottle of red wine as its yummy..feeling guilty as I'm looking after my baby (6 months old) who's asleep in cot.. partner is also asleep but she's my responsibility tonight as he's in work early in the morn.... for added context, I'm a large lady so a bottle won't get me 'drunk' is this bad.. am i the only one who does this
...?

OP posts:
Mrsdoubtfireswig · 22/08/2021 22:24

Two max - and that’s two small glasses of wine (measured) or two small bottles of beer. Never drink spirits / cider etc. I want to make sure I can give them what they need if they wake up during the night whether it’s just a cuddle or look after them if they are ill. Also I don’t want them to see me drunk or think that’s normal

I’d be smashed on a bottle of wine and I’d have a hangover the next day

Petseagull · 22/08/2021 22:25

@Newbabynewhouse

I know how many units are in a bottle.. but like I say, i don't do it often.. just tonight I had a glass, that led onto 3.. and I've enjoyed it.. but then felt guilty as I have a baby (my first baby) so not sure if this is what others do too or is it bad Hmm...
If it’s a total one-off tonight, as you seem to suggest, then no harm done. Have a glass of water before before bed and you’ll be fine. If you’re feeling guilty, just decide not to do it again. Stick to a glass next time x
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 22/08/2021 22:26

When mine were really little I was terrified of hangovers so didn’t drink a lot.

I’ll have a drink now when I’m looking after them sometimes, but if i have a whole bottle I’d really feel it the next day, so tend to rein it in to a couple of glasses. Mine are 7 and 12 now.

ChameleonKola · 22/08/2021 22:26

@Mammyloveswine

I'm only slightly overweight and can easily drink a bottle of wine over an evening without being drunk or hungover...

I certainly don't do it loads (but often have a glass of wine with dinner(.

Today I had a small wine whilst cooking Sunday lunch around 4pm.. a large glass with my Sunday dinner then I've just finished the rest of the bottle!

I've got a 7am gym glass booked!

Op it's fine.., you don't do it everyday, your partner is around and I assume like me you've spread your bottle out and not downed it with a straw!

If you had been out and had 3 glasses of wine at a wedding for example everyone would be fully supportive! MN is so extreme with drinking!

if you had been out and had 3 glasses of wine at a wedding for example everyone would be fully supportive! MN is so extreme with drinking!

While being the one in charge of caring for a six month old baby?

Maybe make that thread and see how it goes!

inthekitchensink · 22/08/2021 22:28

Plenty do, plenty don’t. I do, but kind of fell into a unhealthy habit when my baby was tiny of it being the only thing I looked forward to. So I stopped til I felt it was manageable and when I could have a lie in.
Don’t feel guilty, enjoy tonight, if you feel low & shitty tomorrow then remember to save that lovely bottle of Malbec for a night when you’ve got the whole night & a lie in to enjoy uninterrupted!

IloveStrawberrylaces · 22/08/2021 22:28

At that age my daughter had me up multiple times a night so no way could I have been drinking that much

Nightfeedwatcher · 22/08/2021 22:29

I’ll have a few drinks at home occasionally when kids are in bed, probably not a bottle of wine only because I’d be asleep on the sofa before I got to that point 😴 x

Newbabynewhouse · 22/08/2021 22:31

No I'm not BF and I won't be drunk if she wakes for a cuddle.. it is a one off .. and I do know the NHS guidelines but don't do it often.. was just sat here feeling bad.. and yes I probably am looking for people to make me feel better.. just wanted to see whether people do this or not

OP posts:
WTFisNext · 22/08/2021 22:31

I pretty much gave up alcohol when I got pregnant with my eldest (now 14).

The what if... put me off when she was tiny and in all honesty the couple of times I've been away from my children and had a drink I haven't enjoyed it/not worth the trade off so now I'm always the sober one on nights out and don't drink at home.

I don't judge parents who drink sensibly, but I am amazed that they think the alcohol is worth the trade off of what it does to your body...this includes my husband who can no longer drink without feeling rough the next day, no matter how little it is. Joy of getting older!

Blueeilidh · 22/08/2021 22:32

The think is you might not feel drunk after a bottle of wine but your reaction rate will be slower and you will probably be sleepier so more likely to doze off when feeding or settling the baby in the night, you might be a bit more likely to stumble or a bit less aware of hazards around you and baby.
If you want a bottle of wine, it would be a good idea to wait until your partner isn't getting up for work and can take responsibility for the night.

Newbabynewhouse · 22/08/2021 22:32

It's jammy red roo by yellow tail! Really enjoyed it to be fair!

OP posts:
FlowerTink · 22/08/2021 22:33

Is baby still waking for feeds at night?? Will you have to get up in the night for baby?

I have a 6 year old and a baby and don't drink by choice as they're still little incase of emergencies/the youngest wakes up in the night and needs me.

Your 6mo is still very small and entirely dependent on an adult to care for them/feed them/any emergencies. I personally wouldn't be drinking a bottle in charge of such a young baby.

MoiraRose4 · 22/08/2021 22:34

I wouldn’t have drunk a full bottle when my children were that little. I breastfed and was a single mum, so I couldn’t have really, but I think the issue is more that a full bottle is quite a lot to drink on your own when you’re just sat at home in charge of a baby.

earthyfire · 22/08/2021 22:35

I never used to drink if I was alone with my baby, my husband didn't used to come home from work until 7-8pm and if I wanted a glass or two of wine I'd always wait until he was home. My main fear was in an emergency I wouldn't be able to drive my baby to hospital. My children are older now and last night I had a bottle of wine to myself, husband home - he doesn't drink alcohol.

Mammyloveswine · 22/08/2021 22:39

@ChameleonKola her husband is there!! Yes he's asleep but so is the baby!!!

It's not a regular thing, the op is clearly not hammered!

And yes I do believe if a mother posted that she had been to a wedding and had 3 glasses of wine then went home to relieve the babysitter she would be told "drink water before bed and no co-sleeping".

Honestly I'm not justifying heavy drinking but the hysteria sometimes on mn when ur comes to drinking is ridiculous.

KurtWilde · 22/08/2021 22:39

Didn't drink at all when mine were babies because I was bf and co-slept. Still only drink a glass or two, and youngest is 11 now. A full bottle when in charge of a 6mo is too much imo.

autummvibes · 22/08/2021 22:40

No I don't and wouldn't.

Mammyloveswine · 22/08/2021 22:40

@Newbabynewhouse

It's jammy red roo by yellow tail! Really enjoyed it to be fair!
Love yellow tail! I'm a Chardonnay girl but only get it when it's On offer at £6 🤣
waitingpatientlyforspring · 22/08/2021 22:41

Yes we do. Our children are older now but even when young we would have a bottle of wine each or more. Both have a high tolerance for alcohol though and can easily drink a bottle and not feel drunk and be fine the next day.

HollaHolla · 22/08/2021 22:42

A bottle is a lot. Maybe a glass or two, but not as much as a bottle; larger lady or no.

Stuckhere2021 · 22/08/2021 22:42

OP I am a problem drinker / binge drinker. I’ve had to stop drinking completely as I was ruining my life. I didn’t get like this overnight - a glass of wine became half a bottle which became a bottle which became opening a second bottle……For me the issue here is you drinking a bottle alone for “no good reason” ie not a wedding /party etc. Even if you feel ok, a bottle of wine will affect your senses, reaction times, judgement etc. which could affect how you care for your baby. It also does sound like you are developing a tolerance which is a sign of alcohol abuse. You say it’s not often, but if it was rare, you would be feeling drunk after a whole bottle in one evening - even if you are “large” your liver can only process approximately one unit an hour. I’d be careful this doesn’t turn into a bad habit.

Stevearnottsbeard · 22/08/2021 22:42

Pretty much all of you would hate me... On our way home from hospital, the day after I gave birth to our youngest, we went to a mcdonalds drive through and picked up a bottle of wine!! 😂 😂 😂

ChameleonKola · 22/08/2021 22:44

@Newbabynewhouse

No I'm not BF and I won't be drunk if she wakes for a cuddle.. it is a one off .. and I do know the NHS guidelines but don't do it often.. was just sat here feeling bad.. and yes I probably am looking for people to make me feel better.. just wanted to see whether people do this or not
That bad feeling is your instincts/conscience going ‘ohhh... actually, maybe this was a really bad idea. I’ve drank 10 units and if my baby needs me before I’ve sobered up then I’ll have to attend to her tipsy or drunk’. Listen to them instead of trying to seek out other examples of parents doing this to try make yourself feel better. Some parents drink six double vodkas every night. Aspire to be in a fit state to care for your tiny baby.
MiddleParking · 22/08/2021 22:45

I doubt a bottle of red wine doesn’t get you pissed, 18 stone or not. It should get you pissed. I don’t think as a one off it’s too bad if you don’t co sleep and your partner is home. It would be the night wakings and the next morning I’d fear personally, but then I think I might die if I drank a bottle of red wine.

Newbabynewhouse · 22/08/2021 22:45

@Mammyloveswine

It was £6!!! Grin

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