Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

You're child free and staying overnight with friends who have young children, what time do you get up?

240 replies

Grundoncalling · 22/08/2021 09:21

A friend stayed over last night and is still in bed with no sign of stirring. A different child-free friend who stayed with us slept until 10.30.

We're unfortunately up at 6am and would usually have eaten breakfast by 8 and be thinking about what to do with our Sunday now.

I'm probably being precious, genuinely wondering if this is poor form? Pre-kid we'd set an alarm for 8 and definitely be up by 9 if staying with friends with young children.

OP posts:
Toomuchspinning · 22/08/2021 09:24

I’d expect by 8.30/9 ish.

Mainly because presumably you have visited someone to see them and spend time with them, not sleep! I think that would be true still even if we were all child free.

LittleBearPad · 22/08/2021 09:25

I’d still be in bed - hell I have children and if I can still be in bed at 10.30 I would be though I usually admit defeat at 9ish.

If I were staying with people at knew they were up I would get up by 9ish but never by 8am - it’s Sunday!

QueenHofScotland · 22/08/2021 09:27

I wouldn’t expect them to get up until they wake up - assuming they won’t sleep until lunchtime!

cherrybonbons · 22/08/2021 09:27

If you didn't make a plan for today then why are you wondering? Let them sleep, they don't have kids with them.
My MIL often sleeps in till 10am when she stays, unless we have a plan to do something the next day

Nobloat21 · 22/08/2021 09:27

I'm happy with it. It gives us space to have our family morning, getting stuff done, workout having to look after somebody else. If we're thinking of heading out I'd just knock on the door and ask them if they wanted a cuppa.

IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 22/08/2021 09:27

Depends if we'd made plans for the day.

SmidgenofaPigeon · 22/08/2021 09:29

If you would like them to be up to do something with you in the morning then you should plan that the day before.

They probably went back to sleep after being woken up at the crack of dawn! Leave them a note or something if you want to go out, they can just join you or see you when you get back.

Unless you were hoping for a bit of childcare help I don’t see the issue really.

ThinWomansBrain · 22/08/2021 09:29

I'd generally aim for nine-ish - or gauge by sounds of activity (not that I'd get up at 6am Grin) - or ask the night before.

thebeatingofthedrums · 22/08/2021 09:30

If we hadn't agreed a time, I might still be fast asleep. I certainly wouldn't be getting up at 6am with you!

In reality though, I wouldn't stay with my friends who have kids anymore. I'd check into a nearby hotel - less stressful for all parties.

Bluntness100 · 22/08/2021 09:32

I always let guests sleep till they wish. Unless we have plans. I can’t imagine expecting them to get up by a certain time.

Usually though I make breakfast for about eleven and if someone’s still sleeping off a hang over i shout them to get up 😃

Strugglingtodomybest · 22/08/2021 09:33

I would get up when I woke up. I wouldn't set an alarm unless we had discussed plans the night before and I knew I needed to be up by a certain time. I wouldn't expect anyone to wait for me before having breakfast.

Bluntness100 · 22/08/2021 09:33

Conversely I’d also say I stay often with childless friends, they sleep till about ten, I’m up about six, even though my daughter is an adult now, I can’t break the habit, so I get up and make coffee and potter.

DontDrinkDontSmokeWhatDoIDo · 22/08/2021 09:34

Do you want them to leave, OP?

If so, I'd give a knock on the door and say 'breakfast ready in 20 mins' type thing.

EdinburghLights · 22/08/2021 09:35

Unless you have plans leave them to it. Visitors shouldn't feel like it's boot camp. I have two teens and I don't think any of us are stirring for another couple of hours. It's Sunday!

StrangeToSee · 22/08/2021 09:35

I expect guests to help themselves to breakfast! The night before I give them a tour of the kitchen and permission to route around if they can’t find what they need (some people won’t even open my cupboards without asking 😂)

Sometimes I put stuff like plates, bread, cake, cutlery and non fridge items on the dining table but they’d still need to go in the fridge.

I normally get up between 5-6am with DC and guests get up whenever they want. DH gets up when he hears the guests moving around.

We have some guests who get up at 5am, fry themselves eggs and unload the dishwasher before we come down. Other guests sleep in until noon. The only thing I don’t like is if guests let their DC come down but stay in bed expecting me to watch them (I tell them they need to go back and wake mummy/daddy up!)

AhNowTed · 22/08/2021 09:38

I wouldn't expect anything.

My DH would like probably make breakfast for around 10.30 or 11.00, and leave whatever's left for the later risers.

To be honest when the kids were small, id rather the guest sleeps in, so I don't feel the burden of entertaining them and small children early in the morning.

Polkabott · 22/08/2021 09:39

Have breakfast anyway, unless you had plans ie let's go out at x time, I wouldn't expect any particular time. But that doesn't mean you can't start the day as you normally would, have breakfast and decide what you want to do, if it involves going out gently wake them up maybe.

JoanOgden · 22/08/2021 09:40

Usually 8.30-9, though I have occasionally found myself playing games with the children or reading stories while their parents enjoy a well-deserved lie-in.

TENDTOprocrastinate · 22/08/2021 09:41

How late did you stay up last night and were they drinking alcohol? This would make a difference as to when I would assume a person might be up.

I have kids but I’m still in bed (about to get up) I was up till 11.30pm watching a film.
My kids are 8 & 13 but have never got up at silly o’clock.

Soberanne · 22/08/2021 09:43

I would expect them to get up when they got up unless something had been pre arranged. Why would they get up at 8 am just because your up.

NerrSnerr · 22/08/2021 09:43

What are the plans for the day? Before I had children I certainly wouldn't have expected anyone to wait to have breakfast before I got up. Just make breakfast as normal and they can make something when they get up.

If you'd made plans to go out about now then I'd wake them up as they might have overslept, if no plans had been made I'd just leave them to sleep and get on with stuff downstairs.

Soberanne · 22/08/2021 09:44

Also depends Who the guest is and why they are staying.

SquirryTheSquirrel · 22/08/2021 09:45

I'm childfree and I generally get up at weekends by 9:30.

If staying with someone I'd expect them to say if they needed me up by a specific time.

ShingleBeach · 22/08/2021 09:45

Have you got plans?

I would have said “shall we have breakfast at 9 and then set off for walk / event / park / whatever at about 10” so that everyone had a structure and wasn’t left feeling unsure and like a lemon.

If no plans, are you just jealous?

Tigertealeaves · 22/08/2021 09:47

I'd be Hmm if someone expected me to get up at 9am 'just because' without having made a plan. That's a lie in to a parent but not to anyone else!

You can take them in a cup of tea if you want to gently test the waters...