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Original poster

You're child free and staying overnight with friends who have young children, what time do you get up?

240 replies

Grundoncalling · 22/08/2021 09:21

A friend stayed over last night and is still in bed with no sign of stirring. A different child-free friend who stayed with us slept until 10.30.

We're unfortunately up at 6am and would usually have eaten breakfast by 8 and be thinking about what to do with our Sunday now.

I'm probably being precious, genuinely wondering if this is poor form? Pre-kid we'd set an alarm for 8 and definitely be up by 9 if staying with friends with young children.

OP posts:
ichundich · 22/08/2021 19:27

@Grundoncalling

A friend stayed over last night and is still in bed with no sign of stirring. A different child-free friend who stayed with us slept until 10.30.

We're unfortunately up at 6am and would usually have eaten breakfast by 8 and be thinking about what to do with our Sunday now.

I'm probably being precious, genuinely wondering if this is poor form? Pre-kid we'd set an alarm for 8 and definitely be up by 9 if staying with friends with young children.

I'd say that's quite rude. I used to get up with my hosts (or in case of BIL's: at 4 a.m. because they sent their 'early riser' child into my room to play with his auntie. I do love my DN though.)
Dontwatchfootball · 22/08/2021 19:30

I would aim for 8ish, but to be honest I am thrilled when people sleep late at my house, means they must be comfy.

Original poster
Grundoncalling · 22/08/2021 19:32

Yes, we could absolutely have left them at home, or one of us stayed and one gone out with DC. But they stayed over to see us and I thought they might be surprised to wake and find most of the household out. Again, next time I'll just say.

Pre-children I always just felt uncomfortable staying in bed for hours while my host was up. Whenever we've hosted/visited we have always started the day by sharing breakfast, and I wouldn't want anyone to have to prep something for two or three 'sittings'. People do things differently and have different expectations, this has certainly been an eye opener.

OP posts:
Sparklesocks · 22/08/2021 19:33

@TempleofZoom well my friend told us about it years later as a funny anecdote! Obviously it was vile but she could laugh about it years later, zero idea why you’re so upset about it…

aSofaNearYou · 22/08/2021 19:52

@Grundoncalling

Yes, we could absolutely have left them at home, or one of us stayed and one gone out with DC. But they stayed over to see us and I thought they might be surprised to wake and find most of the household out. Again, next time I'll just say.

Pre-children I always just felt uncomfortable staying in bed for hours while my host was up. Whenever we've hosted/visited we have always started the day by sharing breakfast, and I wouldn't want anyone to have to prep something for two or three 'sittings'. People do things differently and have different expectations, this has certainly been an eye opener.

They'd only feel uncomfortable if they were awake and actively choosing to go back to sleep, though. They probably just didn't wake up. Also, I'm not overly fussed about having breakfast so I wouldn't be worried about people having to prepare two, I'd just go without. I never have breakfast when I'm waking up close to lunchtime.
NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 22/08/2021 21:06

10.30 is a reasonable time to get up on a Sunday and still be out the house for noon.

..... by which time you've missed the whole morning.

Maybe its just me but I don't understand this concept of waking after enough hours sleep at like 8/9am but then lazing around not really doing anything until lunchtime. Don't people have anything they want/need to do in that time?

thebeatingofthedrums · 22/08/2021 21:11

10.30 sounds perfectly normal - I think you handled it right by not saying anything, and by staying at home until your guest woke up. As you say, @Grundoncalling, it's a lesson learnt for next time!

Hope you still enjoyed the day with your friend. :)

tinkywinkyshandbag · 22/08/2021 21:31

Pre DC we sometimes used to stay with friends with DC and we would get up pretty late - they would give the kids an early breakfast and then have another with us when we got up! Embarrassed now to think of it but at the time I just genuinely didn't realise how early people with children get up! Might be worth saying to guests in future that you are normally up by x time so that they have the option of joining you.

cakewench · 22/08/2021 21:44

“If there’s small children involved” ok, but that’s you OP, and if these guests don’t have small children, they probably won’t have considered this. I wouldn’t have. And tbh even now I wouldn’t think “oh they have to be up at the crack of dawn to watch small people play play mobile, I should go join in that” unless we’d made plans specifically to be up by a certain time.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 22/08/2021 21:53

Also as someone who doesn't have kids yet... we get tired too! I work bloody hard and look forward to a nice weekend with friends which might include a lie in when I'm usually up at 6am too to work.

I completely appreciate and respect how tiring and tough it can be to have kids but often feel that the tiring and tough elements of people's lives who don't have children yet are minimised and sort of dismissed.

When I have children I would love the thought that my home is somewhere friends I love can relax and have some refreshing and much needed rest even if I'm up early with the children I've chosen to have and been lucky to be blessed with.

I adore my friends' kids and love spending time with them and spoiling them. A couple of hours of extra sleep in the morning doesn't change that.

TedMullins · 22/08/2021 21:54

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

10.30 is a reasonable time to get up on a Sunday and still be out the house for noon.

..... by which time you've missed the whole morning.

Maybe its just me but I don't understand this concept of waking after enough hours sleep at like 8/9am but then lazing around not really doing anything until lunchtime. Don't people have anything they want/need to do in that time?

Some people need more sleep than others. Some people enjoy lying in bed reading/listening to the radio/snoozing/relaxing. Why do things need to be done all the time and every hour of the day filled? Personally I love waking up and knowing I don’t have to rush out of bed and out of the house and that I’ve got no plans and no obligations. Having every hour planned out and filled with activities would stress me out.
youvegottenminuteslynn · 22/08/2021 21:55

And if my friends with kids did want or need me to be up at a certain time I would completely respect that and adhere to it. But I'm not a mind reader. Anyone I'm close enough to stay the night with I'm also close enough I would expect to tell me of any routine that needs to be followed.

WomanStanleyWoman · 22/08/2021 21:57

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

10.30 is a reasonable time to get up on a Sunday and still be out the house for noon.

..... by which time you've missed the whole morning.

Maybe its just me but I don't understand this concept of waking after enough hours sleep at like 8/9am but then lazing around not really doing anything until lunchtime. Don't people have anything they want/need to do in that time?

It’s called relaxation. Why this need to cram as much possible into the day? Why should anyone have to justify just lounging around for a bit with a cup of tea on their day off?
Recessed · 22/08/2021 21:59

It's hard to remember those childfree days but I imagine around 9am would be respectable? I do remember being irked with my childfree friend when she'd stay and roll out of bed at 11am! Had to remind myself that's it's normal in her world and she just didn't "get it".

Recessed · 22/08/2021 22:00

I don't understand this concept of waking after enough hours sleep at like 8/9am but then lazing around not really doing anything until lunchtime. Don't people have anything they want/need to do in that time?

Grin I don't understand how you don't understand this concept?

ttcissoboring · 22/08/2021 22:07

I don't understand why those with children care if a friend sleeps in? Is it jealousy? How does that affect your routine if the person is asleep?!! I'm baffled lol

HollaHolla · 22/08/2021 22:09

Depends how late a night it was. But normally, I’d probably be about 8/8.30. I wouldn’t be too hacked off if you sent the kids in to say ‘morning’.
It’s a bit cuter than a ‘wake up’ call.

MolyHolyGuacamole · 22/08/2021 22:46

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

10.30 is a reasonable time to get up on a Sunday and still be out the house for noon.

..... by which time you've missed the whole morning.

Maybe its just me but I don't understand this concept of waking after enough hours sleep at like 8/9am but then lazing around not really doing anything until lunchtime. Don't people have anything they want/need to do in that time?

No, I use most weekends to recharge and relax, HTH.
maddening · 22/08/2021 23:04

I would probably aim for 8 hours sleep if no dc and no requirement for being up at a certain time. So if we went to bed at midnight at midnight I would be waking up and 8 and would take a little time to get up and get ready and dressed as I would not be sloping down in my nighty immediately.

If you want your guests up for a particular time you need to communicate in advance so your expectations are known and your guest can set alarms etc.

Berkeys · 23/08/2021 00:07

9.30-10.30 ish, possibly 11. I avoid ‘lsmug passive aggressive ‘morning people’ though.

gannett · 23/08/2021 10:59

Every time I've stayed overnight with friends who have children, there's been a rough plan to the next day. It never involves me or DP getting up at an unreasonable or even specific time because my friends aren't monsters. But they'll usually say, breakfast will be around X time, maybe we'll go for a walk at Y time, but the only definite plan you need to be up for is going for a pub lunch at Z time.

I'm an annoyingly early riser (in that I annoy myself with it a lot of the time) so I'm up and out of bed by 7 usually (absolutely not entertaining their children though). DP will usually wander down a couple of hours later. None of this has been a bone of contention with our hosts as far as we know, but none of our hosts have ever thought that we, their guests, should bend to their parenting routine.

Shallwegoforawalk · 23/08/2021 12:05

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland i would hope people who don't have to wrangle young kids are shagging on a Sunday morning aren't they? Best use of the time. Grin

IntermittentParps · 23/08/2021 13:27

Yes, we could absolutely have left them at home, or one of us stayed and one gone out with DC. But they stayed over to see us and I thought they might be surprised to wake and find most of the household out. Again, next time I'll just say. Indeed. Plan/make things clear in advance. It's that simple.

Maybe its just me but I don't understand this concept of waking after enough hours sleep at like 8/9am but then lazing around not really doing anything until lunchtime. Don't people have anything they want/need to do in that time?
It is just you. Or, rather, other people feel differently. Do you understand that as a concept?

Gwenhwyfar · 23/08/2021 13:29

" I don't understand this concept of waking after enough hours sleep at like 8/9am but then lazing around not really doing anything until lunchtime. Don't people have anything they want/need to do in that time?"

No. What needs to be done in the morning that can't be done in the afternoon? The only thing I can think of is certain shops that may close Sunday lunchtime.

icedcoffees · 23/08/2021 13:31

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

10.30 is a reasonable time to get up on a Sunday and still be out the house for noon.

..... by which time you've missed the whole morning.

Maybe its just me but I don't understand this concept of waking after enough hours sleep at like 8/9am but then lazing around not really doing anything until lunchtime. Don't people have anything they want/need to do in that time?

Nope. HTH Smile