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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go on holiday without him….?

555 replies

PineapplePrincess · 19/08/2021 23:57

Holiday booked for December. Me, DH and 2DC. Booked pre-pandemic.

Hubby is not vaccinated and country doesn't currently allow unvaccinated people entry. It’s unlikely to change position before we travel.

Option 1 - we go without him.

Option 2 - we abandon the holiday.

Husband is in favour of Option 2.

I’m wondering whether I could manage Option 1. Biggest difficulty other than keeping an eye on both kids in a foreign country, is driving - I’ve never done it outside of the UK and it would be in winter conditions.

Would it be unreasonable for me to consider going without him….?

OP posts:
dumphies · 19/08/2021 23:58

Surely he'll have time to get vaccinated before December?

coconutpie · 19/08/2021 23:59

Why won't he just get vaccinated?

RampantIvy · 19/08/2021 23:59

Is your husband anti the vaccine?

Coolcoolcool · 19/08/2021 23:59

Depends - why is he not vaccinated?

StarryStarrySocks · 19/08/2021 23:59

Option 3 - he gets vaccinated and you all go.

MusicTeacherSussex · 20/08/2021 00:01

Unless he is medically unable to be vaccinated,get him to a walk in centre tomorrow for jab 1, then end of October for his 2nd.

Easy peasy

frazzledasarock · 20/08/2021 00:02

Go without him. Or invite a vaccinated friend along instead of your husband.

Original poster
PineapplePrincess · 20/08/2021 00:03

He’s not entertaining the idea of getting vaccinated.

He’s not generally anti-vax. But is on the Covid one.

OP posts:
coconutpie · 20/08/2021 00:04

Then go without him or bring a friend / family member in his place. Why should you cancel your holiday with the DC because he chooses not to get vaccinated?

Thethreecs · 20/08/2021 00:04

@PineapplePrincess

He’s not entertaining the idea of getting vaccinated.

He’s not generally anti-vax. But is on the Covid one.

Then I'd go without him. Why should you miss out on enjoying your life.
idontlikealdi · 20/08/2021 00:06

Leave him behind, go and have a great holiday. No way would I change my plans for that.

FlippityFlippityFlop · 20/08/2021 00:06

Option 1 - go without him.

Coolcoolcool · 20/08/2021 00:06

If he makes a self-centred decision like he has done, then he should bear ramifications. It is, of course, his choice not to get the vax , but as it’s his decision preventing him from going - shouldn’t be that it has to affect you guys too.

MusicTeacherSussex · 20/08/2021 00:07

Selfish! I understand if he wants to be anti vax (well actually I don't understand but whatever) but to deprive his family of a holiday?

Man Child.

Get him to pay to rearrange it somewhere he can go? That is equally nice or better.

Yesitsbess · 20/08/2021 00:08

Go.

AtrociousCircumstance · 20/08/2021 00:08

What a numbskull. Plus selfish.

Lindy2 · 20/08/2021 00:08

I'd go without him and take a vaccinated friend instead.

Your husband has deliberately decided not to be vaccinated. All the consequences of that fall on him, not you.

I would not consider cancelling the holiday at all because of his choice.

Hobnobsandbroomstick · 20/08/2021 00:08

You booked a December 2021 holiday before March 2020? Are people really this organised?!

...missing the point there, but I'd weigh up if it will be an enjoyable holiday without him. Driving in a foreign country in the snow with two (bickering?) would be a no from me personally. But a lovely chilled holiday would be a yes.

Hyppogriff · 20/08/2021 00:08

Go without him and find a less ignorant husband !!

Hyppogriff · 20/08/2021 00:11

Sorry that was meant to come across as light hearted but looks rather harsh! Ummm go without it him as it’s his choice not to get vaccinated (silly), and who knows when you’ll be able to do what you want with no vaccinations. But harsh On you to have to go alone !!

Booboosweet · 20/08/2021 00:13

I just couldn't with someone who refused to get vaccinated what an idiot. Here in Ireland you have to show a certificate that says you have both vaccinations done to every restaurant or hotel etc... you want to go to. He's going to severely limit himself.

Original poster
PineapplePrincess · 20/08/2021 00:16

@Hobnobsandbroomstick

You booked a December 2021 holiday before March 2020? Are people really this organised?!

...missing the point there, but I'd weigh up if it will be an enjoyable holiday without him. Driving in a foreign country in the snow with two (bickering?) would be a no from me personally. But a lovely chilled holiday would be a yes.

We booked December 2019. And not normally that organised, but as it was a Santra trip (kids are the ideal ages to still believe) and suppose to be a once in a lifetime experience, we booked well in advance with plenty of time to save (it’s not cheap!)

Yeah, I’m trying to figure out whether it would be an enjoyable experience. Whether it would be too stressful, whether the kids would miss their Dad, what would the Christmassy pictures be like without him….

I’m really quite annoyed at him. As much as I respect his right to choose, I don’t agree with his choice. But can’t seem to get through to him.

OP posts:
Wingedharpy · 20/08/2021 00:17

You've got time to find a lover before December OP.
Preferably, one that's fully vaccinated and can drive in snowy conditions.
Have a lovely holiday.Wink

RightOnTheEdge · 20/08/2021 00:17

Go without him! Take a friend instead if you don't want to go alone. Don't punish yourself and your dc because of him.

Can't believe he wants you all to miss out!
Selfish idiot.

Divebar2021 · 20/08/2021 00:17

I would ask him if he’s expecting his family to forego holidays forever because he doesn’t want to be vaccinated? Perhaps there’s a solution to the driving? How much will there be? Is there a possibility of public transport or possibly a friend to help. Or failing that transferring the holiday to a package without driving. Whatever the option proceed as you are going.